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The Order.

At one point it was called 'The Order of Light'.

Some time before that, it actually had a name that meant something. But the people who care about something like that are few and far between. Why should anyone care? 

There's practically no reason for any of us to exist. The Gloom Dwellers are all but extinct, and being a member of the Order is more about social status and flexing bloodlines than any practical need.

With that in mind.

I don't understand why the hell I'm not allowed to just drop out.

"--Caden." The man in front of me sighs with deep exasperation. "I'm speaking directly to you, don't just ignore me."

"...I wasn't paying attention."

The man gives me a patient look, and shakes his head. "Amelia. Tell me, what is the most effective method to be rid of a Spidergloom?"

"Use sunlight." She responds automatically, giving the answer without much thought. 

The class master looks at me as if her answer is my fault.

I ignore him. As usual.

"...Yes. Sunlight is highly effective against Gloom Dwellers. However, as they only hunt at the dead of night, your opportunity to use it is limited. What is the most effective method using an Exorcist Candle?"

"That's a trick question."

Amelia puffs out her chest a little.

"An Exorcist Candle, like all Exorcist Tools, only serves to focus spirit power. Exorcist Candles in particular amplify spirit power more than most, but provide no innate manner of power shaping. The correct answer is that you have to adapt your strategy to your own individual spirit power."

"Very good. Caden, I hope you were paying attention so that you can repeat back what she just said." He points at me. As if I'll actually do that.

After a moment he sighs, shakes his head, and thinks better of it.

"...It will likely go through one ear and out the other. Alright everyone, that concludes today's lecture. Tomorrow we will cover the more advanced ways in which a candle differs from a lantern. Class dismissed."

Classmaster Thomson collects his things and leaves the classroom with his nose in the air and his glasses flashing. I stare after him in open disinterest until he's well out of the room, then I gather up my stuff and put it in my bag. 

I don't understand why I can't just drop out. It's not like learning any of this will help me. Only those with pure exorcist blood are gifted with spirit blessings.

I'm just another tainted blood misfit with no power and no business being in the Order. Not one person here will let me forget that, either.

I'd rather just not pretend, if it's all the same.

Amelia shoots me a glance as she puts away her belongings, and I pretend not to see. She'll probably try to talk to me again about some nonsense or another, so it's better for both of us if I leave.

If I just ignore and avoid Amelia, she usually doesn't bother to chase and lecture me.

Before I can leave, however, I'm caught by a heavy weight slamming into my back. I grunt in annoyance. "...Flynn, what do you want?"

Flynn Jasdevi grins at me brightly. "Why so upset? Don't be so stiff! All that's left is sparring before the end of the lessons today! If I didn't know better, I'd think you've got no sense of humor or joy."

"I don't." I groan, pushing him away from me. "You absorbed it all for yourself. Now all that I've got left is 'tired'."

"As cold as ever." He frowns, but there's laughter in his eyes. "It's that sort of attitude that means no one likes you, you know?"

Yeah, that's it.

My attitude.

Not me being a dirty tainted blood. People just don't like or trust me because of my attitude.

I shake my head. "You're so annoying."

Flynn claps my shoulder in response and laughs, his long golden ponytail bouncing a little in the process. He has sharp, vivid blue eyes. Everything about him is vibrant, as if he's trying too hard to stand out.

Except I know it's natural. He's just naturally the type to stand out and be noticed.

Well, he is a bloodline exorcist. No one gets into the order if they're anything else.

Flynn and Amelia are both bright and popular, but unlike her, Flynn always goes out of his way to interact with me. For the life of me, I can't figure out why he would even bother.

Is it the pity that keeps drawing him back? Does he just like to spend time around someone he's better than to feel more special?

Or is he simply too dumb to recognize I'm bad news?

There's no point thinking about it. Either way, the outcome is the same.

He walks alongside me as I leave the classroom, continuing to prattle on about nothing of interest, until Amelia catches up. Then the two of them start to discuss things more pertinent to the next class.

Flynn takes extra effort to make sure I don't slip out of the conversation, but Amelia is still the one who mostly carries the conversation.

My face remains impassive. We go over this same pattern almost every day, where they follow me down the halls of the Order while making plans to get together over the weekend. I have never once participated, but they always ask again anyway.

My answer won't change.

I already told them as much.

I want my weekends to be full of nothing at all.

I just want to sleep and relax, not go out and do things.

We move towards the training area.

When it comes time for combat class, the three of us pair up like every other week.

Amelia's ability isn't really best suited for combat, but she makes it work. She creates illusions, and she does so shockingly easily. Even without something like an Exorcist Candle, she can maintain multiple distinct and intricate illusions easily.

Flynn's ability is almost the polar opposite of Amelia. When he focuses his spirit power, he enhances his strength and durability by leaps and bounds. 

The two of them work together so well that they can even handle the fact that I add nothing to the group.

That's fine by me.

While the class continues to spar in our normal rotation, I sit back and do nothing.

It's not like they ever notice, anyway.

No one looks at me, and no one asks anything of me.

So there's no harm in letting them have all of the glory, I think.

By the time class is over, Amelia is beaming with satisfaction. Her illusions are perfect. 

It doesn't matter to anyone that I'm just sitting off to the side like a useless lump.

I guess I don't mind it, either.

Whatever.

At least I can relax and not worry about wasting my time putting in any effort when I'll never be an exorcist no matter what.

I'm just the orphan the Order adopted because my mother's blood is too important to them to let it die with me.

It's such a ridiculous set of circumstances.

I can offer the Order one single thing, and it's not even me.

Despite that, I'm still not allowed to drop out, to run away and escape to the outside world.

I don't expect I'll have much choice about when it's time to advance my mother's bloodline, either.

...Like, seriously. What kind of idiot tells a guy with no exorcist ability that he has to learn how to fight anyway? If I get caught by one of the Gloom Dwellers we're supposed to be learning to fight, it'll be over for me and the stupid bloodline the Order cares about.

If you ask me, I'd say I'm much better suited for hiding under the covers, staying away from the Gloom, and minding my own business in a normal, human life. Like every other tainted blood.

...but I'm not allowed to.

And it's a waste of my energy to sit around feeling upset about it.