Ch 25 Why is truth painful?

His voice echoed in the hall. Everyone gasped. I was just thunderstruck and speechless. Why? My heart was beating in fear. I was afraid. Everyone was so shocked and was whispering loudly. 

" What's the meaning of this Balder?" The king shouted. 

He bent down on his one knee and bowed. 

" Your majesty, I apologise to you but..."

I saw Akshita going out. I followed her out. 

" Akshita...." I shouted.

She stopped. I went and grabbed her arm. 

" A....are you alright?" I said. 

My voice was shaking with all that rush. What was happening? She looked at me and said," I am fine, just sad on my foolishness." 

" But..."

She hugged me suddenly and said,

"You won't understand even if I tell you....For now, I just want to say that every affection and attraction isn't love ." And stepped away. 

" You are going..." I said. My voice choked. 

Tears filled her eyes. I continued,

" You loved him..." 

She shaked her head and said,

" It was a mistake....." 

I was speechless. My heart was breaking for her, for me. 

" I have to go now....." She said and ran away. 

"Aksh...." I choked. She was really going. Why did they do that? Why did they Suddenly? 

Reality hit me like a mad bull. It shaked me. When I understood what was happening, I was just rooted to my place like a statue. The bubble broke. A tear dropped down my eye. 

Alaric was painfully right. I was living in a bubble. Why did this happen to me?My nanny made me believe that I deserved all the love and care in the world. The wall that she made between me and reality broke down. My already cracked heart broke into pieces and shattered down. Everything dulled in background. I could clearly heard the sound of my breaking heart. 

He was right. I was living in a fairytale. Nanny created bubble for me but it was my fault that I believed I was a princess like the one in fairytales. I weaved my dreams into a palace. But, I could hear that palace cracking and shattering clearly. It was made of glass. Those were only dreams and they broke but it still hurted. Every piece shattered. I was feeling ugly and broken. I betrayed him, betrayed myself. I didn't even know love yet I committed to love him. Today, my attraction towards him faded. I felt hollow. Every emotion just left my body and I was left with my pain and grief.How would I face him? I was embarrassed and ashamed of myself. The cold winds throwed my hair into my face. That was a slap for my silliness. I was really stupid. 

I tuned around and walked aimlessly. In corridor, I saw Camilla waiting for me. She rushed towards me and said,

" Where is she? Is she alright?" 

She was worried for Akshita. I gulped and said, "You were right...." in a dry voice.

She frowned at me and said confusingly,

" What are you taking about?"

" You were right about me." 

Her face paled and she was looking at me in horror. She hesitatingly touched my arm and asked," A...Are you alright?"

I jerked away from her. I hated her the most at that moment because she was right about everything. 

" Why were you right? Why did you make me realise?" I yelled at her. 

Tears filled her eyes. She said," I..I just wanted to see both of you happy." 

I grabbed her shoulders and she shuddered. She was scared. Tears flowed down her eyes. 

" If you have not come, this wouldn't have happened." 

" Wh..Why are you blaming me? It's your mistake if you don't know feel love for him. You were fooling yourself with your attraction." 

I leaved her and she stumbled backwards. I was going crazy. I was confused. What was that love? I didn't know. The time I spent with him wasn't because of love then why? Why did I have those feelings for him? Were those feelings only my attraction, jealousy and anger? Was there no affection. Now that I looked peeked into the past, there was no affection....no affection, just..... I was just attracted towards him. 

I looked at her and asked," You know love, then tell me what is love?" 

She didn't reply. 

" Just tell me already." I shouted and she moved backwards. I walked towards her but my foot bumped with something and the next thing I saw was a large and monstrous flames engulfing the curtains. 

" Aaahhhhh....F...FIRE....." Camilla shouted and ran away. 

I was watching that whole scene unfold. Cold winds fueled the fire and flames touched the ceiling. They engulfed curtains and pillars. It was spreading fastly. 

" MADELEINE...."

I came out of my haze when someone called my name. I turned around to see Alaric was there. He was scared and horrified. I realised what was happening. I didn't do this. I didn't....

I turned around and ran inside. I couldn't face him. 

" MADELEINE...."I heard him call me again.

I didn't stop. I was guilty. My actions hurted many people. I came to a stop when I could barely breathe. I was huffing and puffing badly. My lungs were screaming for fresh air but I inhaled a lot of smog and started coughing badly. My eyes watered. Fire didn't spread to here, there was only smog. 

I looked around to see where I was but i didn't know. I never came in central palace before. I wanted to go out. 

" MADELEINE....." I heard my name again. 

I saw Alaric running towards me. He bumped into me hard and wrapped his hands around me tightly. I didn't feel anything. My heart wasn't beating fast anymore. There was no reaction. Tears rolled down my eyes. I sobbed. I only felt pangs of pain in my chest. He stepped back a bit and touched my face, my arms, my shoulders. 

" Are you alright? I called you why you didn't listen. Just ran through fire. Are you mad?" His voice was shaking. His hands were cold from fear. He was scared for me. What did I give him in return? Nothing, I couldn't even love him like he loved me. I always doubted him. He hugged me again but still this time I couldn't gather the courage to hug him back. 

It was painful for me to be near him. He was worried for me, he loved me. I was facing reality. I had to tell him too. More tears rolled down on that thought, but I had to tell him.

" N...No.." I moaned in pain I felt in my heart. 

He looked at me and asked, " W...What no?" 

I didn't respond and just looked down. I clutched my gown tightly that my knuckles were going white. I was holding my breathe. He grabbed my arms and said," Look at me Madeleine." 

He shaked me. I flinched and looked up. The breathe I was holding came into gasps. I just shaked my head in a no. I saw him through my watery eyes. He was scared and probably, knew what was I talking about? I was sobbing silently. It was more painful to tell him than to realise it. My heart was already broken and I was going to break his heart too. What went wrong? I just wanted to feel love. 

" Tell me clearly now..." His voice was losing confidence. 

I gulped and inhaled deeply. My breathe shuddered. I looked into his eyes. I was confident. Why was I confident this time? 

" Y..You w..we.were r...right" I stuttered.

How could I tell him that with a straight face? I watch him freezing. His face paled and his eyes watered. His hands literally slipped from my arms like he lost the strength in them. He stumbled backwards. A tear dropped down his eye. He smiled sadly and said,

" So you know...." 

He ran his hands through his hair and looked into my eyes. He was searching something. 

" Ha...A..Are yo..you sure?" His voice choked. 

I nodded. I walked towards him and touched his arm. I could feel his heart breaking, could hear the sound of his heart that was beating fastly. There was only silence, just pin drop silence. Like the time had freezed.