Ch 20 What can i do?

The rumours weren't accurate at all. Who was Camilla Ashford? I was more curious about her now. 

" Yeah , I wish it's true." Katty said while weaving dreams. 

I eyed her. For the first time, I hated her honesty. She shivered under my gaze. 

" Why are you eyeing her coldly?" Charlotte asked.

I looked at her and said," You shouldn't believe rumours. There's a big difference between rumour and truth." I told them coldly. 

They didn't say anything after that. I sighed. Why was I angry with them? 

" I am sorry." I apologised.

" It's fine and you are right." Rose said.

Everyone else agreed.

" Look..." Katty suddenly pointed behind me.

I turned around to see Alaric laughing with a girl. 

" She is Camilla Ashford" Katty informed me before I could ask. 

She was preety with her blone hair and shining baby blue eyes. I felt sudden pain in my chest. It felt like my emotions bursted on seeing him. 

She was wearing an expensive gown and she was linking her hands with him. She was laughing with him. I felt jealous of her. I was angry at him. I felt betrayed. Here, I was worrying he must be punishing himself but he was....was....so happy. He looked carefree. I hated to admit but they really looked preety together. They were perfect. I felt so inferior in front of her.

She looked towards us and saw me. She whispered something to him. He looked towards me and whispered something back.They walked towards us and stopped in front of us. 

Everyone else got up and greeted them. I was rooted to my place. My lips felt sealed. I felt like if I said anything now, then I won't be able to keep my emotions in check.

Camilla looked at me and said," Greetings Princess, I am Camilla Ashford, daughter of Duke ashford." 

I nodded my head slightly without looking at her. 

" I heard you were sick. I am glad to see you fine now." 

" Thankyou." I said with a straight face. The situation was becoming uncomfortable. Our conversation was awkward. She smiled at me. Anyone could tell, it was forced.

" Hey ladies, meeting you after a long time." Alaric said in his usual excited voice. 

Why was he excited? There was nothing happy about this situation. I resented every second of it. Everyone focused on Alaric and started chatting on some topic. I looked at him and saw he was hiding something behind this happy face of his. What was he hiding? I was afraid to even imagine. I needed to talk to him. He wasn't even looking at me. Was it really guilt or something else? 

" Excuse me...." I got up and excused myself from them. 

" Princess, where are you going?" Amy asked me.

" I am going a bit further. " 

" let me accompany you....." 

I interrupted and said, 

" No, I want to be alone. I will return before sunset." I promised her. 

She wanted to go with me but she nodded and said, " I will wait for you." 

I smiled at her warmly and walked into maze. I was satisfied to know that few people would never leave me. One of them was Amy and other one my nanny. Warmth spread in me on that thought. 

I was walking absent mindedly but I heard footsteps. I stopped in my track. The footsteps were coming closer. My heart beat increased with each step he took. I knew who he was. 

" Madeleine....." He called me. 

He was standing just behind me. No matter, how much angry I was with him but my heart always betrayed me whenever he was near me. My heart would call his name again and again. I turned around to see him and remembered what I just saw. He was with Camilla. He was so happy but now I felt like the mask fell and I was seeing the real him. 

He was hurt and guilty. Why.....Why I saw guilt in his eyes? His guilt was for something else. I couldn't see him like this. 

I looked away from him and said,

" Why are you here?" 

He took a step towards me but I flinched away from him. 

" How are you?" He asked in a tired voice. But back then, he sounded so excited. Who was the real him? I couldn't figure out. It was giving me a headache.

" Don't ignore me....." He choked. 

I looked at him and felt his pain but was it real or fake?

I said ," Why are you here? When I needed you the most where were you? You just left me there alone. Why did you do it?" 

" You were in that state because of me.I couldn't see you like that. You were really weak. I was guilty...."

I interrupted and asked," Was it really guilt?" 

He was dumbfounded by my question. I laughed. It was hollow like my soul. 

"Were you guilt or bored? You couldn't see me like that so averted your eyes. Was I ugly? Do you like preety girls like Camilla? Just tell me..." 

He grabbed my shoulders and watched me in horror. He shaked me and said," Are you even listening to yourself?You are spouting..."

" Nonsense , yeah I am a nuisance to you now....."

" No, why can't you understand that I love you? Only you..... Why are you not sure about my feelings? What can I do to make you believe that I only love you?" 

" You....You will do anything." 

" Yeah.....I will....for you." 

" Make our relationship public." 

He leaved me and took a step back. He was backing away. 

" You can't do that, right..." I said.

" I will...I will ,but the consequences won't be good. " 

" I am ready to face any consequence with you." 

He inhaled deeply and said, " I will make an announcement in the winter ball." 

And he walked away. 

Was I satisfied with this? I didn't feel so. Why wasn't I happy? Something felt wrong. Was I doing the right thing? 

Alaric 

I walked out of the maze in a hurry. Was I reckless back there? She was still doubting my love for her. 

" What happened?" Camilla asked. 

She came towards me .

" You look tensed." She grabbed my hand and said," Are you alright?" 

I looked at her and sighed. 

" Is it Maldeliene?" She asked. 

I had told her everything about Maldeliene. We went and sat on a bench. I told her everything. 

" She is doubting you because of me." She said in a depressed voice. 

I looked at her and grabbed her hand. 

" It is not you. It is Madeleine. She must understand. You are not the problem. Madeleine is living in a bubble where she thinks everything she touches belongs to her. She thinks life is a fairytale . She doesn't know the ugly truth of life." 

" When will she understand?"

" I am afraid. When the bubble will burst she will be hurt more than anyone." 

" I hope everything will be okay. I really want to see you two together." 

I smiled at her warmly and said," We can only hope for now." 

Madeleine

I was waking out of maze I heard Alaric. He was sitting with Camilla. I hid behind a tree to hear them. 

"........It is Madeleine. She must understand. You are not the problem. Madeleine is living in a bubble where she thinks everything she touches belongs to her. She thinks life is a fairytale . She doesn't know the ugly truth of life." Alaric said to her.

After hearing this, everything in the background dulled. Was he really saying this to her? Why? 

I walked away from there feeling betrayed. Was he always like this? I went into my room. 

" Are you alright?" Amy asked. 

At this point, I have learnt how to hide my emotions. 

" I am fine just tired. I will rest." I said with a fake smile. 

She nodded and walked out of my room. I locked the door behind her. I dropped the shawl on floor and wore out the cardigan. I was feeling stuffy.My emotions were stuffy. He thought I was living in a fairytale. I was the problem. Then, why did he told me that he would make our relationship public? If he didn't want to then he didn't have to. 

I was living in a bubble. I could understand if Camilla would have said that but Alaric. I didn't even imagine this.