Its All Too Much..

Warnings: detailed anxiety attack, suicidal thoughts, light mention of suicide

There are ways to get help I promise, if you suffer from suicidal thoughts please seek help and remember people love you.

Also the art is mine, just a random one

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Thomas' POV:

"Happy birthday, Talyn!" I cheered along with my friends. Talyn looked around at everyone as we began to sing them happy birthday. I watched from the back of the group as Tayln looked around at their friends and family, slightly embarrassed being the center of attention and looked down at the cake.

"Happy birthday to you," we all finished and watched our friend blow out the candles on their cake. We clapped and disbursed, waiting for a piece of the cake, I forced a smile at my friend who was chatting to Joan while I began to cut the cake which I insisted I do since I wanted to contribute to the party more than just standing there..

I gave everyone a piece and then cut one for myself but-

"Ow.." I mumble as the blade sliced my finger.. I watch the small drop of blood run down my finger and to my palm..

I always told people that self harm wouldn't help with depression or mental pain but.. the numbness I've been feeling went away every time I got physically hurt.... this was just a reminder..

A reminder that I can still feel, because I've pretty much forgotten how to feel anything other than sadness, panic and fear... and this feeling, that's hard to describe... its like a type of numbness where I may think some jokes are funny and let out a laugh but I don't feel the humor..

This feeling is tormenting.... I hate it so much.. 'It'll be okay' yeah sure..

I keep telling myself it will be okay, I keep pushing it down hoping, begging for the depression to leave....

but it won't be okay... the only time I don't feel this, numbness, this emotional torment is when I feel pain.. I can't keep this up it hurts..

"Hey Tom, you alright?" someone tapped my shoulder, without thinking I answer mustering a fake smile.

"I'm fine,"

Logan's POV:

"Something's wrong.... The Imagination.. its.. changing.." Roman whispered, to himself yet loud enough for me to hear it. He had his back to mine, sword out and ready, obviously alert and worried by his expression.

Suddenly a black mist surrounded us and I could barely see Roman who was right behind me. I coughed into my elbow and tried to look around but the smoke was irritating my eyes. We slowly rotated in sink to try and look at our surroundings when Roman spotted something.

"Logan.. I can see a shadow. Maybe Patton? Or Virgil?" I looked to him, he was squinting to try and make out the person's shadow. I squinted a little myself and tried to see who it was, then I could see two shadows, running towards us. My gaze softened thinking it was Patton and Virgil but it wasn't.

"Oh good, we found you," Janus panted as he stood beside us with Remus following suit, both oddly quiet and from their face expressions and body language each one was very distressed and.. sad, and scared.. I've only seen Janus and Remus like this the one time Roman got severely hurt... by-

A loud voice echoed a laugh threw the imagination, I watched in slight fear as two shadows emerged from the smoke..

"Hello Deceit~ Remus ~ Logic~ Been a long time hasn't it?~" A familiar voice rung in my ear.. the voice of a horrid side that nearly destroyed Thomas' mind..

"Paranoia.." Janus said the name with pure venom in his voice and ever so slight fear. The side devilishly smiled as he looked to us with those broken black eyes and glowing purple pupils. His hair was pitch black, eye shadow gone, no longer needed on his pale white skin with black cracks on it like tattoos showing that he was possessed. Virgil's aim was just to be edgy but Paranoia looked insane, his signature jacket was gone changed into a oversized one, a shirt that had fabric stained to fade from black into purple and long black ripped jeans like a cat clawed at his knees.

"Yep, I'm back! But not alone this time, this time with a new friend," Paranoia smirked insanely, he kept looking over his shoulder and his whole body was visibly shaking. Roman was obviously upset seeing Virgil like this but it'll be fine... I lied to myself.. I don't know this time....

"Depression!" He cheered as the side stepped into view.. The once adorable father figure changed into something depressing and saddening.. He had pale white skin with black tattoos, a oversized baby blue jumper and black ripped jeans, with a blue and black beanie and scarf. I would consider him adorable but his dull eyes and pale skin made him look menacing and ever so slightly scary...

These weren't the sides we knew... These are monsters who could destroy Thomas' mind in an instant..

Wait... The imagination is changing because of the overload of negativity bombarding Thomas' mind all at once..

If this continues on, Thomas' mind could become fully corrupted and he could end up....

Killing himself....