Complacency Merits a Slap

Logean Wuji had only just descended to take the plate from Zhou Hua's hands, but her face was covered in sweat and flushed. If he didn't grab the plate when he did, her shaky hands would have surely caused it to tip over and bless the floor with her food.

Zhou Mantiao was also shaky, his mallet and gong trembling in his hands. His nervousness was palpable in his eyes; his teeth chattering and his heart racing. This moment would decide whether or not he and his sister were worthy of Logean Wuji's guidance.

If he was not pleased with the way the food tasted, they could only suck up their shame and sadness while smilingly leaving the stage. Of course, once they returned home, they would surely break down into tears and dig holes to bury themselves in.

Logean Wuji took the plate with a "Thank you," then returned to the table. All eyes were on him as he sat and prepared to eat, grabbing the chopsticks provided for him by Zhou Hua. The brother and sister came closer together, supplying each other with sufficient strength to battle against the trepidation.

Logean Wuji gracefully ate the food, reminding everyone that he was a dignified and well-mannered individual. The poise of his princely demeanor wafted out like a strong scent, filling their hearts with admiration and praise.

'Ah, crap. I got carried away.' Logean Wuji only then realized that he had been distracted by the food and allowed his presence to leak out just a bit. Once he reigned it in the people went back to normal and slowly got back into their own conversations, all the while waiting for him to finish his assessment of the food.

"Hey, did you see the latest episode of Mister Lee's Grandiose Epic of Puppets? I heard he performed it in the village square a while ago, and also for the children at Lady Min's Daycare."

"Huh!? Do I know you? Why are you talking about that children's show? Isn't that just some puppeteer's pantomime?"

"Eh!? What did you say? Take that back this instant! I won't tolerate some ignorant, morose, stony-faced ass-hat slandering the best form of entertainment to ever exist!"

"You think that asinine plot counts as entertainment? Please! I could write something far better than that with my eyes closed and my brain cut in half! Also with one finger! Plus with a stick up my ass!"

"Oh really!?"

Yeah, really!"

"Then do it!"

"I will! Mark my words, Man-Child! I, Hei Tianduo, shall show you what true entertainment is!" With a flick of his wrist, that man swished his long cloak and turned on his heel, walking out of the crowd and leaving for his home. Quite a few people were attracted by their conversation, so many eyes followed his figure as he left.

Logean Wuji had finished eating and was now wiping his mouth with a handkerchief that he had conjured up. Once he was finished, Zhou Hua and Zhou Mantiao held each other's hands, crossing their fingers.

"Your food... The seasonings, the sauces, the tenderness of the meat, the savory-sweetness..."

Suddenly, he stood up, "It was absolutely delightful to eat."

After that, he returned to the stage with his plate in hand. The people were glad for Zhou Hua, but not particularly amazed of excited. Her cooking was already amazing to them, but Logean Wuji's standards were far higher. They just watched and gave scant cheers, waiting for the next demonstration.

"Thank you, Sir Wuji. Would Sir say that I have mastered the 'Essence of the Culinary Dao' techniques?"

"Thoroughly."

"Then, would Sir say that I have surprised you with my cooking?"

"I am completely shell-shocked. You have already surpassed your Senior, Zao Shen, who meditated on the Culinary Dao long before you were even born. This is a marvelous feat, worthy of sufficient praise."

Zhou Hua's grip on her brother's hand tightened as a result of her excitement. She smiled for the first time since Logean Wuji had tried her cooking, finally allowing herself to be proud.

"Then it is true." With tears in her eyes, she looked at her brother and saw his emotional expression. She gave him a final squeeze and then broke away, looking up to the sky.

"Father, Mother, your Little Hua has done it. I have accomplished my life's greatest goal."

Logean Wuji heard this and tilted his head, confused.

"Your dying wish has been realized. I have worked hard to excavate my potential, suffering for more than 48 hours without sleep just to achieve this, but it was truly worth it. Mother, Father, I have become a Grandmaster of the Culinary Da-"

Pow!

From the side, Logean Wuji's hand came flying toward her cheek before colliding with it and lifting her off her feet. After that, as gasps and startled cries rang out, Zhou Hua elegantly spun in the air like a figure skater, her limbs becoming limp as she performed a perfect gliding 'lutz.'. Blood sprayed from her mouth and nose like a spurting fountain, then she fell flat on her face with a dazed groan. [1]

Jaws hit the floor, eyes became saucers and figurative cats took hold of several tongues. Stunned silence prevailed within the plaza for half a minute before Zhou Mantiao regained the clarity to think and move.

"Please, Sir Wuji! Spare my sister for her wrongdoings," he said without even knowing what Zhou Hua had done wrong. "I beg of you, allow her to reflect and meditate on her stupid actions!"

His head head against the floor repeatedly as he kowtowed, pleading for his sister. She had done something to irritate Sir Wuji, so he had to step up as a brother and beg like he had never begged before.

"Do not worry, she will be fine. Look, she's barely injured."

All eyes darted between Logean Wuji and the bleeding, motionless Zhou Hua. What part of her was barely injured? Where was she fine?

Even still, they had to bite their lips and compromise, not daring to offend Logean Wuji.

"Yeah! Zhou Mantiao, stop overreacting!"

"Didn't you see it was a mere tap on the shoulder?"

"What are you accusing Sir Wuji of, you lying bastard!"

If it wasn't for his exceptionally thick skin, Logean Wuji would have suffered under the embarrassment of having such shamelessness play out on his behalf. He cleared his throat and straightened up before waving his hand to silence them all.

"Zhou Mantiao, pick up your sister."

He hurriedly obliged, tossed his gong and mallet to the floor and lifted his sister to her feet. She wasn't entirely unconscious, but she still swayed about and was completely powerless, not even able to stand. Logean Wuji frowned, snapped his finger, and watched as she was restored.

"Zhou Hua!"

"Ah!? Yes, sir, Sir Wuji, sir!" She knelt immediately after regaining her bearings.

Logean Wuji coughed dryly after hearing that, but had to keep a straight face for the sake of maintaining a dignified air.

"You have blasphemed the Grand Dao, and were thus punished by me. Do you take issue with this?"

"No, sir, Sir Wuji, sir! I thank you for slapping me senseless, sir!" Zhou Mantiao caught on and also knelt, saying, "I thank you as well, sir!"

Nodding, Logean Wuji retracted some of his aura and took an easier stance, wordlessly indicating that the most serious matter had been dealt with.

"Now then, I will instruct you as to why your words have blasphemed the Grand Dao."

"You dared to consider yourself a Grandmaster of the Culinary Dao. Even if you had surpassed Zao Shen totally and completely, such a claim would still be seen as blasphemy in my eyes. Do you have any idea why?"

Zhou Hua was dispirited at first, but she reassumed her humble demeanor and said, "I have no idea, sir."

"Then I will tell you, Zhou Hua. It is because, while your comprehensions have truly surpassed Zao Shen himself, you are no where near proficient enough to be considered a Grandmaster of the Culinary Dao. There are subsets of this Dao that, once your understanding is high enough, you will come to realize. The control of fire when cooking, the essence of the ingredients themselves, presentation, seasonality. There is more to this Dao than just cooking something that tastes good. Making such a claim could have had serious consequences."

"Are we clear on this, Zhou Hua?"

She nodded furiously, leading to a variety of 'crack' and 'pop' sounds coming from her neck. Even Zhou Mantiao followed her example and did the same.

"Good. Never again utter such blasphemous words in my presence. Begone." Though his words were harsh on the surface, Zhou Hua clearly caught the implications in them. The pain of that slap did not linger, but she clearly remembered it and took it as a reminder.

She still had a long way to go. Dragging Zhou Mantiao along, she left the stage and the plaza straightaway.

Logean Wuji looked around at the people, his expression still seeming quite stern. Even the people watching felt scared of him now, terrified into silence.

"The Grand Dao formlessly connects all things to us, and we are connected through all things to it. Our lives are sustained by it, for it and of it. Our thoughts, words and actions spur it into motion and force it into submission, yet it always prevails. It is the ever-present, unchanging law of our existence, governing us without interfering so much so that we tend to forget it exists."

"It is your greatest benefactor in all the world. Do not blaspheme it." Only after that was his sternness alleviated and his smile restored. He returned to the table, sitting in the air above and looking down at whoever would come up onto the stage now.

At this moment, Mother Guan and Old Man Sun exchanged glances, nodding. They rushed off toward the inn to gather up their 'champions' and bring them to the stage. They were told to stay their and prepare themselves for the talent show, so the children were all doing just that.

When they left, a wobbly old man approached the stage with his walking stick, asking for the guards to help him up. Lifting him by the waist, the tallest of the guards brought him up to the stage with ease, after which he thanked them weakly.

All were quiet as he took the stage, licking his cracked lips with a dry tongue and smiling sweetly, albeit without much teeth.

"Well hi there, everyone."

"Hello, sir!"

"Welcome, senior!"

The old man furrowed his bushy white brows and took a slow step forward, placing a hand by his ear. "What was that?"

"WELCOME, SENIOR!"

"NICE TO MEET YOU!"

In response to this, the old man busted out laughing and slapped his knee, almost causing it to buckle beneath him. "You darlings! I can hear just fine!"

Realizing they had been duped, most of the people found it funny and laughed about it. A few others were a little more unsmiling about the matter, immediately throwing curses and snide remarks.

"Ahem! Now then, onto the main event... Oh hang on, I forgot my beanbag. Oh Lordy, how could I forget my beanbag? No, no, it must be here somewhere... Lemme see..." The old man then made a show of emptying his pockets, feeling around inside his clothes, checking his ears and inside his mouth.

"Ah, there it is!" Suddenly, he put a hand near his nether region and a loud 'pop' was heard. When he brought his hand out from behind him, a tiny pouch was in it.

This time, a whole lot more people had temporary meltdowns of laughter. The old man merely smiled and waved his hand and walking stick to try and calm them down.

"Now then, onto the real main event. In this here beanbag are a few things I like to call... beans."

This time, it fell a bit flat. In all the crowd, no one made a sound except for a loud, familiar sounding sneeze.

"What did I say? What did I say!? Point that damn thing away from me when you sneeze!"

Kapow!

"Come on now, settle down. Let's move onto the main event, okay?" The old man took a bean out of the bag, placed the bag on the floor, shut his hand with the bean inside it and raised it into the air.

"Now for the countdown. Five, four, three, two- Oh yeah, did I ever tell you guys about my dear friend Silvester? Quite a strong man he was, and handsome too- though his nose was a bit too big if you ask me. Anyway, one day I saw my friend Silvester and I said- I said, 'Silvester, your nose is too big, your face is too small. You look like a muppet!' So he turned to me- he said, 'The hell's a muppet, Gerald?' I said, 'Ask the author, Silvester!' He said, 'Who the hell's that, Gerald!?' Ah! That Silvester. What a funny guy, am I right?"

As the old man continued, it became apparent that he would not be getting around to showcasing any talent. Thus, he was promptly removed from the stage.