Silent Dinner

Mom was in the hallway in front of our bathroom door where Dad was. She was silently crying. Mom's tears showed frustration, anger, sadness, and concern for Dad's health. He wasn't fine. She saw his life fading away because of his horrible state. The worst part for her was that he had been hiding it from her since winter, and she hadn't noticed until it was too late. She was feeling guilty.

"Why Richard…?", she murmured to herself.

Dad always had a smile on his face and joked around whenever he saw us. He was the type of person Mom could trust blindly. He was not just her husband, but also her best friend. I was only a baby, but I could clearly see that. Her worst fear was losing him, her companion and best friend, and it could become a reality. Mom had once lost her entire family, and she could lose Dad now. It was too much for her. She was holding me like a precious being, as if she was afraid of losing me too. Her body was shivering uncontrollably, and her breath was heavy and unpaced. Although I wasn't crying, I felt deeply sorrowful.

However, I could also hear my siblings crying in the kitchen at the end of the hallway. They were scared. They needed someone to say everything was fine, but Mom couldn't do it. She didn't even know if Dad would be fine. A person would have died if the one stayed in a matter of a few days without Mana. She knew that. Dad knew that too, and he stayed almost three seasons with almost no Mana. It was a serious problem that could not have a return point to save his life. Mom kept repeating to herself that she warned him and asked him to not use his Mana or overdo, but he didn't listen to her. He was self-sacrificing for our sake, and she cried even more, realizing it. She blamed herself for being weak and useless. She prayed numerous times to the gods to save him, and I lost track of time.

I noticed Mom was trying to calm herself down when her arms were no longer keeping me tightly close to her. She stayed in silence, trying to digest her emotions, and then she stopped sobbing. She took a look at me from head to toe to confirm I was doing fine, and she tickled me to ease the tension. I giggled, but I was still concerned. Mom stood up and cleaned her tears, closed her eyes, and finally, she took a deep breath to put her back into her old self.

Mom walked us to the hallway to find my siblings. They were seated at the dining table side by side. Alice was hugging Jonathan, and their both faces were red and wet with tears. Mom looked at them and gave a gentle smile. She headed to a bucket full of water and washed her hands and arms. Then, she turned to my siblings.

"Let's have dinner? You two must be hungry by now…", said Mom, patting their heads.

They were eager to know what happened to Dad, but Mom seemed adamant about any openings for questions. She had stopped crying, but she was not fully prepared to answer them. Then, everyone stayed quiet. The only sounds we could hear were water and chopping. Mom was chopping the deer-rabbit meat while Alice and Jonathan were washing the vegetables. The good smell of dinner took over our house. My siblings helped to set up the table, as they used to do.

"Dad is not going to have dinner with us today… He will have it later", said Mom, taking Dad's plates and wooden utensils out of the table.

Alice and Jonathan looked at each other in worry. I could see in their eyes they wanted to ask her about Dad, but Mom changed the topic rapidly.

"I'll pray today. Give me your hands". Mom opened her arms and held Alice's and Jonathan's hands.

Our table was rectangular. Dad used to sit at the end and Mom by his side. My siblings used to stay on the opposite Mom's side. However, now Mom sat in Dad's place and Alice and Jonathan sat on different sides, facing each other. Alice and Jonathan didn't hold their hands. Then, Mom asked them to close their eyes and started praying.

"Gods of heaven and the pillar of the creation, goddess of water Daeva, goddess of the wind Faythe, and god of light Ahdarr. We humble servants and your children thank the body of the living, whose life was taken to give us its strength to win over the elements; the plants, which won over the god of Earth through thy blessings to give us nourishment to stand another day. Shall they dispel the sickness and hunger in our family. Praise be to the gods". Mom did just like Dad used to do.

However, this time, we didn't have any effect on the blessings. Mom couldn't spare more Mana than she had used. She was also at her limit. Mom started breastfeeding me and eating her stew. She didn't look at Alice and Jonathan. However, they noticed the difference in the prayer that Dad used to do. Jonathan was about to ask, but Alice coughed and nodded negativity to him. Our dinner was silent, and once everyone ate, it ended.

"Since Dad is using the bathroom, we will use wet clothes to clean ourselves", said Mom.

She grabbed two buckets and one filled with hot water and the other with cold water. Alice took some clothes that were drying outside and brought them inside. Mom placed a short but wide bucket in the middle of the kitchen and asked my siblings to step in. She helped them to clean themselves and later cleaned me.

"Clean and good! You two can go to sleep now". My siblings nodded and went to their bedroom. Mom stayed behind and washed. Afterward, she threw away the rest of the water in the buckets and headed to the bathroom.

Dad didn't show any signs of change. He was still unconscious in the muddy, greenish liquid. Gladly, the smell was no longer bothering us. It was still harder to breathe. The air was thick. Mom touched Dad's forehead to check his temperature. He still had some fever going on, but she didn't look surprised. He was breathing fine and didn't show any deteriorated health symptoms. She folded his clothes which were on the floor and placed them on the chair by his side.

We went to our bedroom. Mom picked up a blanket and our pillows and headed back to the bathroom. We were going to sleep there today. She placed the blanket and the pillows on the floor and put me on top of them. She sat on the floor next to me and leaned her back on the wall. Furthermore, she patted my back gently as a sign to make me sleep. Her eyes were gentle, but still filled with fear and worries. She murmured a lullaby, and it didn't take too long. I fell asleep.

I was too tired to awake in the middle of the night, but I was also too stressed out to have a nice night of sleep. As a result, I woke up in the dark and Mom grabbed me as if she was already watching me. I got my diapers changed and I was fed. Her milk was different though. She didn't have much to share, but it was enough to not make me go hungry. She noticed my agitation for the lack of milk, and we walked to the kitchen until I fell asleep again. We did this a couple of times until the morning time.

Mom was now two nights without sleeping well, and we were still in the bathroom. I opened my eyes, and she was looking at me already. She looked tired and sad. I turned my head to Dad, and nothing had changed with him since last night. Mom picked me up and held me in her arms. She was definitely calmer than yesterday, maybe dad had shown some signs of getting better. She stood up and headed to the kitchen to prepare breakfast. However, before we left, I could take a brief look at Dad from a higher view. The water in the bathtub was clean and no longer muddy. I could see Dad's legs and his undershorts under the water. His leg was no longer blinding or had that strange yellow liquid. It was actually hard to notice the wound now.

My siblings were already waiting in the kitchen. They had set the table with bread and jelly, along with some empty cups for juice. Mom smiled at them and helped to squeeze the juice from an unknown green fruit, but the smell was good.

"Alice, I will go to the workshop in the afternoon. You and Jonathan will stay here to look after Dad. He is sleeping now, but he will need us when he wakes up", said Mom with a tender expression. Alice understood the situation and nodded. No Gigelda for Alice today. "Meanwhile, we will work on the farm. We need to remove the weeds and water them, right?" said Mom, waiting for the reply. They nodded positively.

When we were about to finish our breakfast, we heard something from the bathroom, first was the sound of water splashing on the floor then a weak and low voice calling Mom.

"Clarice…", said Dad.