Homie Aquired

After a few seconds of magic teleportation stuff, I open my eyes and took around.

The desert heat greets me like a long-lost friend, but I'm far stronger now. I don't even need water mana to shrug the temperature off, but I remember to give Floofy a hydrofruit before looking around.

I'm on a small stone ruin atop a large dune, little columns surround us, and I can see a road weaving through the hills of sand beneath me. A large caravan comprised of fifty or so wagons is slowly making its way through the desert.

The first thing I do is take out a bottle of Black dye and apply it to my hair. Rhoam told me about the whole male Gerudo with red hair taboo, so I've prepared this as a solution. I also raise my buff and bear head hood because keeping my identity safe is never a bad precaution.

Grinning happily, I head toward the caravan, excited to meet new people.

Once I reach hearing distance of the caravan, a man in full metal armor shouts at me to stop; behind him are what seem to be soldiers, "Halt, name your business!"

"I'm a traveler who wishes to join your caravan," I reply.

"You may join the end of the caravan, but first, lay down your sword and pay the entrance fee of fifty rupees."

I reluctantly put down Samantha and a purple rupee to the ground, I've now already lost half of the allowance Rhoam gave me the day before I left.

The armored man greedily picks up the shining purple gem, after a close inspection, a gleeful grin worms its way across his face. I definitely just got scammed.

He carelessly unsheathes my saber before smiling with crooked teeth, "Hey, mystery man, I'll give you twenty rupees for the sword," he says.

"It's not for sale."

"Shame, really. Well, as the mercenary leader of this caravan, I will need to confiscate this blade until the trip is over."

I bristle with anger but bear the abuse, I'd have no idea where I'm going, so I need this group. Besides, if he tries to steal it, I can just take it back forcefully, maybe breaking a few fingers to teach him a lesson.

The mercenary captain tells me to go to the end of the line of wagons before striding off.

As I walk down the caravan, I realize that the vehicles in the lead are much nicer than those farther back. Large cartridges pulled by teams of sandseals turn into horse-drawn wagons the farther I walk farther down.

At the end of the caravan, there are only donkey-driven carts, and the road is much less nice, covered in a layer of animal shit from the superior animals ahead.

I activate the mechanism that turns my card into a sled, which Floofy is easily able to pull. Who needs a sandseal when you have a Floofy?

There is someone else at the end of the caravan, someone I recognize from the games. He has a massive backpack with a sign hanging off the front, a brown bowl cut, and a bit of an oversized nose. It's the wandering merchant, Beetle!

"Hey there! You, with the heavy-looking backpack, wanna ride with me?" I shout to Beedle, who is struggling with the hefty weight on his shoulders.

Beedle looks around, confused, and asks me, "You're giving me a ride?"

"Yeah, why not help a homie out?" I say, helping load Beetle's backpack into my cart.

"I don't know what a 'homie' is, but thank you, kind traveler. I am Beetle, a traveling merchant!"

Beetle and I quickly become friends. He is the nicest person I've ever met, but he is also very knowledgeable.

As we ride along, he tells me stories of his travels all around Hyrule, giving me tips on surviving the ascent of Death Mountain, the colds of the Hybra region, and the rainforests of Faron.

Beetle gives me advice on how to avoid monsters, but I assure him that I am a capable warrior. I also appreciate how he doesn't pry into my past. He just cheerfully answers any questions I ask.

After a few hours of conversation and a couple of drinks, I would rip off a man's dick for Beetle.

As the day wears on, I ask the merchant about the current economy and learn some shocking information.

All of the special fauna from the game are rare and expensive items called 'herbs' that only grow in special conditions. The food I brought from the sealed canyon that is under the tarp on my wagon is actually very valuable.

I also asked about how I could purchase ancient Zonai and Shiekah technology, and Beetle tells me an astronomical price, way more than I have even after I was basically robbed by the mercenary prick.

Normal produce from my old world exists as well and is much less expensive, only costing a few shards of green rupee.

"I have a specialty for catching rare insects used in making elixirs," Beetle proudly pulls out a jar containing a Winterwing butterfly, "I'm selling this specimen to a client in Kara Kara city, though usually, I make money by flipping little odds and ends."

The sun is setting. Beetle and I prepare sleeping bags under the cart as the caravan slows to a halt.

As we are making dinner, an idea pops into my mind, an idea that solves all of my problems on how to get the things I need to progress.

I propose the idea to my new friend: "Beetle, I'm starting a merchant group, and I'd like to hire you to lead it."

Beetle is a very experienced merchant, and he's a named character in the games, so it would be a waste to let him continue on in mediocrity.

"That's very gracious of you, Arjon, but I'm barely making ends meet. I need to keep all of my profits to keep myself fed. I'm sorry."

"Of course, I respect your decision, but take a look at our initial inventory before you make your judgment," I say, discreetly opening up the tarp over my cart to reveal a bountiful harvest of valuable herbs.

"How did you get all this Arjon! Are you involved in some illegal actitv-"

"-There's a fifty rupee signing bonus."

"You have got yourself a merchant!"

Beetle and I shake hands, and I hand over his bonus. The merchant is even more excited when I show him my hidden compartment of Shiekah tech.

"My merchant group will be called the Sinclair Trading Company, and you are now its head manager. When we get to Kara Kara city, we will begin producing products and hiring," I tell Beetle.

I settle in for the night, thinking of the enormous profits I will gather in the future using my modern knowledge, and I quickly fall asleep.

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Beetle and I are woken up in the middle of the night to Floofy's barking. We stand up and hear mercenaries start to yell from their positions around the caravan.

My eyes adjust to the darkness, and I see a horde of monsters coming down from the dunes around the road.