Chapter 1

Author Note:

Read the additional Tags in the synopsis before reading! 

♦♦♦♦

It had been a wild night celebrating his friend's birthday. Josh knew he had probably drank a bit too much, but the messages from one of the chicks he wanted to fuck— Amy— were driving him even more crazy.

"Just got home, no one else here for hours. Come over quick!" the text read.

'Oh, this bitch finally decided to have some fun huh? NICE!'

Josh fumbled for his keys and stumbled out to his car.

*cree-scrach*

As he peeled out of the parking lot, he pulled up Google Maps to find the fastest route to Amy's place.

"It's gonna take too long on the main roads!" he slurred to himself. Then he spotted an alternate route cutting straight through some backwoods. "Shortcut it is!"

"Woo, can't waste a single minute!"

*wroom-wroom*

Josh punched in the new directions and his car lurched forward down the winding path. Trees and bushes flew by in a green blur as he pushed the pedal harder.

Unfortunately, his drunk driving was making it difficult to stay on the narrow track.

Josh continued blindly following the GPS, even as it started leading his car up a steep, twisting road. "This can't be right..." he muttered, taking another swig from his flask.

Before long, the road narrowed to just a dirt trail. Josh gripped the steering wheel tighter, struggling to stay centered as his car bounced along the bumpy path.

♪♪♫ Immortal temptation takes over my mind.....CONDEEEMMNED

Fallen weak on my knees, summon the strength.....Of MAYHEMMM—♫♪

He looked at his phone in annoyance, but soon realized it was Amy who was video calling him.

*Beep* He picked up the phone and saw that Amy was sitting in her pink room downing a black sluty gown,

Looking at her figure, his blood rapidly flooded his lower region,

"When are you coming Baby~," She said in a seductive voice while rubbing her breasts.

"I-I'm coming Babe, just wait a little," He said looking at her with all kinds of indecent thoughts.

"Please~ Come quick, darling, ~ aah~ my slutty lil pussy wants your stormy dragon~" She said while showing him her pink wet hole.

That scene of her twitching walls filled Josh with high motivation,

"YEAH! Just wait for me! I AM THE STORM THAT IS APPROACHING!!!!!" He yelled in excitement and cut the video call.

He looked at his surroundings and he was practically surrounded by trees and mountains.

"You'd better not get me lost out here, Maps!" he yelled.

But the display just showed the line cutting deeper into the remote wilderness.

As Josh crested another hill, he suddenly found himself teetering on the edge of a huge cliff. "Oh craaaap!"

Down below was nothing but a sheer drop into an abyss of darkness.

Josh slammed on the brakes but it was too late.

*screech*

With a sickening lurch, the vehicle rolled right over the edge.

*dump*

"Nooooo!" Josh cried as he tumbled down the cliff at breakneck speed.

*Bang**bam**swoos-crack*

He crashed through tree branches until finally smacking against the ground with a horrible crunch.

All went black as the crumpled wreckage went up in flames.

When Josh opened his eyes again, he was floating above his mangled body. "What the hell...am I a ghost??"

||Bahahah... BaAHaHAhaahaHHAh!! || A booming laugh answered him.

Josh spun around and came face to face with a massive, amorphous creature.

The creature suddenly turned into a white cat which had.... three eye?

The cat, still laughing snapped its fingers and a sudden rift in space occurred and they both got teleported into a large room with black walls and floor and a white ceiling.

||Guwaahaha! That was a shittiest way to die dude! || The cat said.

"You! You think my death is funny?" Josh yelled.

||Absolutely! || the Three-eyed cat bellowed. ||Trusting Google Maps while drunk off your ass? Pfft!||

|| And what was that? Ah! I'm the storm that is ap..pfft...approaching!? Gwahahaha! That's comedic gold right there!||

Josh frowned, but had to admit - this giant cat had a point. 

"Wait.. who are you?" Josh asked the three-eyed giant white cat, who was still laughing while willing its tail.

||I Kekeke... am pfft.. a bahaha.. S hehheha.. BOG || The cat tried to say something in the middle of laughing.

"An SBOG?" Josh asked in confusion.

||Heh heh, Yes, Sebre Brenez Otzr Gzt! I give some random souls some wishes before reincarnating them, but only if their death makes me laugh! || It replied in a fat bratty voice.

"Y-You mean to say you are a Random Outer God like those in some Fanfics..?"

 ||A Random Outer God, huh? Haha, Well, this is a new one! You say they have something like me in your FanFics || it chuckled.

"Yes, and by your explanation, you are basically like a ROB," Josh answered while shruging.

The ROB's eyes glowed for a split second and it got all the info about the novels, anime, fanfic, and hentai as well..

||Woo Woo Woo!! These FanFic's you mentioned are wild Bud! Maybe I should also try writing one! ||

Ignoring the ROB/SBOG's "So.. Am I going to get reincarnated or something?" Josh asked.

||Yup! You are gonna get Isekaied! so rejoice, little Buddy! || The ROB replied while showing him its teeth.

"And am I supposed to be happy right now?" Josh asked while pointing his finger towards himself.

||YES! You should be grinning to the ears! You will be granted three wishes before being reincarnated. I'm all ears so what do you want in your next life?|| Said the ROB.

"First of all, can I choose the place, to get reincarnate" Josh asked.

|| Uu, Uu, No can do~ But after those FanFics, I can tell you that you will be Isekaied in an AU!||

"Hmm.. then can I wish for omnipotence? Or nigh-omnipotence at most?" Не asked.

||Hm. No, you cannot wish for power that exceeds my capabilities, Buddy, so you'll

have to wish for something else other than being the multiverse's strongest or

something like that. ||

"Umm.. then I ask for a Body with no Limiter like Saitama, But without the baldness of course."

|| Granted! Next! ||

"Next, I want the power of 'Physics Manipulation' like the MC of God of the Omniverse Fanfic."

||Yup! read it just now, that power is OP, but.... Granted! Haha! What's the last one?||

"Then for the last one, can I ask for a divinity as well, except the omnipotence or nigh-omnipotence ones?"

|| Umm, although I should not give you a divinity, since you have made me a fellow cultured Man *ehm*God, I can grant you one! But don't ask for the |divinity of boundaries | I've just read a fanfic and that divinity is too OP!! ||

"Ok, I have decided!"

|| Heh heh, Do tell! ||

"Then, I want a 'divinity of Absorption' I will be able to absorb any kind of matter and energy and become more powerful by absorbing it."

|| Sorry, I can't give you that—Sike! JK! Granted!! Your last wish is also Granted!|| For some reason, the ROB looked excited.

"Seriously! Hell Yeah!! Thanks!"

|| No probs buddy! Now, I'm gonna reincarnate you! and this time try not to die a shitty death||

The ROB touched Josh's spectral forehead making an enormous flow of information about the world he is about to get reincarnated into rush through his mind.

After that, a divine drop of holy water fell on Josh's head making his mind go blank.

♣♣♣♣♣

A small boy was sleeping naked on the ground

An instant later, Josh woke up in his new small body, he could sense the power he possessed inside his body.

If he unleashes his whole power in this place it will be enough to completely destroy his previous world.

He searched his mind for the information the ROB gave him before sending him here...

It was the world of DxD.