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I'd Like to Change My Reincarnation Subscription, Please

Superpowers abound. Villains rule the world. A transmigrated dork that has absolutely no idea what’s going on. Strong-armed by the Superhero Enhancement System into the thankless job of endlessly performing good deeds in a world where such actions are often met with violence, Lucas Lynn doesn't have much choice in regards to using his supposed gifts. It’s bad enough having to pretend to be a supervillain, but how exactly does Boss System expect him to save the world with only the help of a homeless orphan, a dog that’s smarter than he is, and a yoyo? Oh, just trick some supervillains into becoming superheroes instead? You make it sound so easy! ----- Tags: Sci-Fi, Isekai, System, Dark Comedy, Satire, Superpowers, Anti-Hero, Time Looping, Gore, Slice of Life, Rubber Ducky (yes, Mr. Quacks deserves his own tag) ----- Do a google search for "Geminel WordPress" for a page that has a little about me, information about the novel's inspiration, a link to the discord server, a link to the character reference sheet, a char art gallery, and a collection of short stories, both within and independent of this novel's universe. ----- Excerpt from the end of Ch1: [Bzzt... Scan complete. Analyzing...] 'Eh?' [Analysis complete. Positive value found, now loading... Loading complete.] 'Okay, WTF is...' [Binding successful. Congratulations upstanding citizen. You have been selected by the Superhero Enhancement System. Please select your desired enhancement. The following options are avail...] 'I'M DYING! IS NOT DYING AN OPTION!?' [Error, invalid selection. An enhancement will be randomly selected. Randomizing... Strength has been selected. Enhanced strength will be calibrated for your rebirth. Please look forward to it.] 'WHAT IN THE ACTUAL F-' With this final thought, Lucas dies in a pool of his own blood on the sidewalk.

Geminel · Sci-fi
Not enough ratings
244 Chs

Truck-Kun

[Hmm, that greeting from the raven might not have been for your benefit. Seems it caught Black Ash Snow's attention and he's on his way from the back room.]

'I can sorta understand getting MF's attention between the rainbow disaster and how much money I spent, but I really don't know why Ash is in on it too.'

[Who could say?]

The raven seems to have become greatly agitated all of a sudden, hopping from side to side while making a grand display of flapping its wings. With its croaking squawks of varying intensity, it seems to feel the cause is urgent.

'What's got him all riled up all of a-'

As Lucas turns his attention from the fluffy cuteness back up to the irritated bird, Lucas notices the reflection of what's going on behind him on the glass window.

[Oh shit. It shouldn't have even had a chance to build up that much speed.]

Too late to do anything about it, a small box truck that just made a slight left turn pops up over the curb of the sidewalk, taking the five waiting pedestrians along with it into the front of Faunahorde on its two left wheels. At the moment before impact, Lucas could see the driver in the reflection, looking completely calm.

Due to what limited enhanced resilience Lucas has tied to his enhanced strength, the impact alone doesn't immediately take him out. The other four, on the other hand, are already done for.

In a sickening wet crunch, more than one spine has been shattered nearby. Blood is already starting to spread out as the front of the truck makes a few fleshy sandwiches with the large glass windows at the front of Faunahorde.

In an explosion of bloodied shattered glass, the front cab still travels several feet more into the building, accumulating some feathers and fur along with various pet care goods in its path. While the vehicle itself has finally been slowed to a stop, the driver has been launched out of the windshield past the crushed victims, through the brick wall into the shop next door.

Lucas has a few slowly fading moments of lingering consciousness, largely spent being furious about the fates of the other victims beyond himself.

He can vaguely see the driver calmly stand up and dust himself off in the next store over. After a moment of grooming himself, he takes off through the rear exit of the shop, not shedding so much as a single drop of blood.

'Yo, fuck that guy.'

[Lu-]

Gasping deeply and leaning forward into the start of a fetal curl, Lucas snaps his attention up to see what his situation is. Looking straight at him is the raven perched on the edge of the window display, fluttering its wings once and giving him a single croaking squawk.

[-cas. There isn't enough time to get a formal task issued, but you'll certainly get a GDV reward if you stop it and reduce the damage inflicted.]

'More like reduce that asshole's face. Taking out people is one thing, but innocent animals too, that is fucking inexcusable.'

Jonathan notices Lucas's telltale gasp and seems familiar with what it indicates after the subway incident. Noticing Lucas spinning in place to look at the far road that runs alongside Mind Flare's Fashion Boutique, he also promptly turns to look.

Barreling down the road is the offending box truck in the central right-hand lane. They hadn't been particularly aware of the increase in honking from the various cars last time, but now that they see it in action they realize that's where all the honking had been coming from.

Watching as the truck veers through the intersection turning slightly to face in their direction, Lucas starts taking two steps towards it and swinging out his right fist to directly punch the front of the truck just as it starts to ride up the curb.

[Wait, the concentrated force will just-]

Lucas's fist tears through the steel as if it were mere paper, making a fist-sized hole driving through the radiator into the engine. With a sudden small point of release, the coolant explodes outward in a boiling spray, covering Lucas.

As if the disturbingly appetizing scent of cooked human flesh wasn't enough, the truck doesn't lose much speed and still proceeds up the curb and through the front of the building, roughly the same as last time.

The other key difference is that Jonathan is aware in advance of what's occurring. Seeing Lucas fail to stop the truck, he tries to tackle him from the side to push him from danger. While Lucas was able to puncture the steel with no effort on his part, it doesn't change the fact his arm is now lodged inside and Jonathan isn't strong enough to have any impact, only accomplishing getting his own coating of scalding coolant before his transformation into a sandwich.

Lurching forward with a deep gasp, Lucas stabilizes his breathing and makes eye contact with the raven, getting the same flutter and croak. Jonathan's attention is caught once again and they both turn to face the oncoming truck.

Lucas takes a slow, deep, breath as he takes these few available seconds to think.

'Okay so punching, not so good.'

[All the force in one spot just punctured through as you saw, instead of slowing down the rest of it all.]

'Okay, so gotta spread it out more, got it. Round two, fight!'

[Uhh...]

"Watch out, brat." Lucas gives a small heads up as he begins to prepare himself to try and wrestle the oncoming truck, both hands held before him with their palms facing outward towards the oncoming challenger.

Unfortunately, he didn't really get to brace himself much against the concrete of the sidewalk.

With arms spread wide, he manages to grab the two outer edges of the front of the cab. By spreading out force distribution and getting a grasp on something with structural support, he does manage to slow down the momenta of the oncoming vehicle. However, there is still more than enough power to violently drive him back. This directly leads to the unfortunate scenario of being pinned between the short brick wall under the window display and the now smashed-up front of the truck.

His back hits the window with enough force to cause instantaneous spiderweb cracks to form along the entirety of it. The last bit of force before the truck comes to a complete stop pushes that small amount more necessary to shatter it, tearing his back to shreds in the process.

With the window gone, the cacophony of numerous animals screaming in their individual fashions floods the area. In a vaguely similar fashion, the various nearby pedestrians have scattered, fleeing the scene.

While his actions did, technically, protect everyone else, his own state is... Rather lacking. His ribs are at the very least cracked, and given the escalating difficulty he's having with breathing, there's a high chance he is now in possession of more holes than is normally medically recommended in his lungs. Spitting up a choking breath of blood seems to further demonstrate this possibility.

[With your current condition, you're probably not gonna make it. There really isn't anything for you to properly brace against either if you wanted to try that route again...]

Jonathan is fretting and trying to help push the truck back a bit to help Lucas free his crushed lower legs. Lucas goes to shove the truck away but feels weak, instead just deciding to lean forward against it, all while struggling to breathe.

The truck driver has glared down at Lucas for a moment, now going to open the door and let himself out. Looking back up at him after spitting out another mouthful of blood, Lucas slowly raises his right hand, flipping him off.

In these few long moments, Mind Flare and Josephine have run out of their HQ, coming out onto the crosswalk towards them. When a car nearly hits them, Josephine simply raises a hand and snaps in its direction, the sudden force pushing in the center of its front fender and forcing it to a stop a few inches away.

'That's not fair...'

When they are halfway through the crosswalk, the driver has gotten out of the truck and started running. With a bloodied, slow-moving hand, Lucas simply points at him.

Mind Flare gets the message, however, even if Jonathan didn't. It turns out, the driver's enhanced resilience didn't include his brain. As his skull was unnaturally strong, his brain has to force itself out of the naturally available openings, making for quite the gruesome sight.

Lucas can't help smiling a bit, even if he knows it isn't a permanent resolution.

He's not entirely sure when it happened, but the raven is now perched on the crumpled front of the truck, facing Lucas silently.

"There's gotta be a healer somewhere. We'll get you to them, don't worry. You'll be fine, you're gonna be fine. Come on Lucas, you gotta push, I can't do it. You're gonna be fine. You gotta be fine." Jonathan seems to lose his normal nervous stutter, seems it might normally just be a social issue.

The pet store behind him has fallen nearly silent, but there are still the sounds of movement. Surprisingly, the raven is the only animal to exit the store, even though there is plenty of other unrestrained ones inside.

Mind Flare has reached his side and Josephine is walking back and forth trying to figure out a good angle to work from in order to move the truck without hurting him further.

'I'm a little surprised that they genuinely seem to want to help? I'm no good to them like this.'

[Well, if they bring you to a healer in time you'd be indebted to them. I'm not aware of any healers being part of their organization, though.]

'Ah... Yeah... That makes sense... Fuck, it hurts...'

Just as the door to Faunahorde opens, Lucas looks directly at Mind Flare with a pleading look.

"Please, just end it."

[Wait, at least take this time to-]

'Don't worry, I have an idea.'

-----

Lucas kills this chapter: 0

Lucas total kills: 6

Lucas deaths this chapter: 2

Lucas total deaths: 8

Lucas current GDV: [ERROR]

Jonathan current GDV: [ERROR]

-----

Little character theater:

Jonathan, pacing back and forth: You're gonna be okay, you gotta be okay...

Lucas, absolutely miserable: Seriously, you couldn't do a rollback before ending the chapter? (Coughs up more blood.)

427, in his own form of panic: [I really want to support you, but I'm not very confident when you say you have an idea.]

Author, doing their best end-of-episode narrator voice: Will Mind Flare do it? Will Black Ash Snow finally get screen time? All this and more in the next episode of; Why am I so mean to Lucas?

Mr. Quacks, with concern: Quack?