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I'd Like to Change My Reincarnation Subscription, Please

Superpowers abound. Villains rule the world. A transmigrated dork that has absolutely no idea what’s going on. Strong-armed by the Superhero Enhancement System into the thankless job of endlessly performing good deeds in a world where such actions are often met with violence, Lucas Lynn doesn't have much choice in regards to using his supposed gifts. It’s bad enough having to pretend to be a supervillain, but how exactly does Boss System expect him to save the world with only the help of a homeless orphan, a dog that’s smarter than he is, and a yoyo? Oh, just trick some supervillains into becoming superheroes instead? You make it sound so easy! ----- Tags: Sci-Fi, Isekai, System, Dark Comedy, Satire, Superpowers, Anti-Hero, Time Looping, Gore, Slice of Life, Rubber Ducky (yes, Mr. Quacks deserves his own tag) ----- Do a google search for "Geminel WordPress" for a page that has a little about me, information about the novel's inspiration, a link to the discord server, a link to the character reference sheet, a char art gallery, and a collection of short stories, both within and independent of this novel's universe. ----- Excerpt from the end of Ch1: [Bzzt... Scan complete. Analyzing...] 'Eh?' [Analysis complete. Positive value found, now loading... Loading complete.] 'Okay, WTF is...' [Binding successful. Congratulations upstanding citizen. You have been selected by the Superhero Enhancement System. Please select your desired enhancement. The following options are avail...] 'I'M DYING! IS NOT DYING AN OPTION!?' [Error, invalid selection. An enhancement will be randomly selected. Randomizing... Strength has been selected. Enhanced strength will be calibrated for your rebirth. Please look forward to it.] 'WHAT IN THE ACTUAL F-' With this final thought, Lucas dies in a pool of his own blood on the sidewalk.

Geminel · Sci-fi
Not enough ratings
244 Chs

Puppy Love

After a few more rounds of wordlessly agreed-upon improvised hopscotch, the group finally reaches their destination.

Unconcerned with minor things like knocking or such kinds of decorum before entering a room with a closed door, Miss Chievous just pushes the door open and walks right on in.

It would be foolish to assume you have anything resembling privacy when she's within a several-mile radius, short of being locked in a very VERY secure room. In which case, she'd probably coax Miss Masher into smashing a wall down so she could get in out of sheer spite, even if they know there's nothing worth being interested in within it.

In a turn of events that didn't surprise anyone involved, Miss Calculated is still sitting exactly where she was when Miss Chievous left, her tablet on her lap on top of the Lynn family's clipboarded folder full of paperwork, and Willy's tablet sitting on the couch next to her right side.

"Mmm, welcome back." Miss Calculated gives a slightly flat greeting without looking up as she continues scrolling through a list on her tablet. After a few moments of the door not yet closing and multiple people's worth of footsteps, as well as the clicking of overgrown dog nails on the tile floor, she belatedly realizes it's the whole group and looks up to give a more proper greeting. "Oh, hello, you're all finished already?"

'...Already? It's been a few hours, it's past lunchtime by now, yeah?'

[Are you really all that surprised by her warped sense of the flow of time?]

'Okay, yeah, fine, you're right. Ooh, what should we get for lunch, anyway..?'

[...How are you even thinking about food after how much binge snacking you did earlier?]

'That was hours ago!'

[...]

In a display of subconscious chivalry, Lucas motions for Miss Masher to enter ahead of him. Once she marches in without acknowledging his gesture, he's finally the last to go in.

'You almost just said it hasn't been all that long, didn't you?'

[Ahem, perhaps you should be paying more attention to the other people in the room, rather than me.]

'Tch. I'm taking that as a guilty admission.'

Miss Chievous has already set up shop on the nearest couch to the door, flopping down onto it face-first with a groan.

Willy had padded over to join Miss Calculated, looking to see what she's done with his tablet while they were gone. This is done purely out of curiosity, he doesn't have any suspicions that she would have done something untoward to it.

Jonathan was still hesitating between the two remaining couches, and Miss Masher didn't have enough of a head start from Lucas to make a decision of her own yet, either.

Deciding to take matters into his own hands, Lucas walks behind the nearest of the two vacant couches and firmly grips the back of it. He vaults over it and lands in a seated position, making a soft grunt as he does so. Settling in at his new cushy location, he leaves barely enough room for one other person to potentially sit next to him.

Catching the hint, Jonathan darts over to join him at a speed that can only count as leisurely to someone enhanced with super speed. Somehow, he still manages to make give the impression that he was being casual about it.

"Hey again, and uh, yeah, we're all set. How 'bout you?" Not acknowledging that there was anything unusual about how he or Jonathan sat down, Lucas addresses Miss Calculated in a completely natural conversational tone while maintaining eye contact with her.

Shrugging briefly, Miss Masher heads over to the last couch, clearly contemplating a similar method of entry that Lucas had used, simply because it looked fun.

"Don't you dare." Miss Calculated noticed the moment of indecisiveness on her younger sister's part, immediately accurately guessing what she was deliberating and growling out her disapproval in a strict tone.

Miss Masher noticeably flinches, then walks over to sit down normally. In short order she lies down, ending up in a mirrored position to Miss Chievous, but on her back unlike her older sister, who is still gracelessly sprawled out on her stomach.

Equally not acknowledging what she just did, Miss Calculated turns to face Lucas again before continuing.

"Yes, just about. Thankfully, it seems that whoever Willy was concerned about had not previously registered ownership over him. I assume that they realized that attempting to register a random dog without proof would potentially make people wonder what was special about the dog, ultimately being counterproductive to trying to stake their claims over him. Doubly so if that individual otherwise would never consider bothering to register an actual pet. I've also set his documented blood work to be strictly confidential, no level of security can casually search for it. Should a conflicting entry attempt to be made, the error of an existing file will be presented, but otherwise, his identity can't be readily brought forth without his chip." As Miss Calculated elaborates, Lucas is stunned speechless by the lengths she just went to for a doggo she just met, not that Willy doesn't absolutely deserve it.

On the other hand, Willy has had his tail vigorously wagging ever since she said he wasn't previously registered. Once she had finished speaking, he hops over close to her, rearing up and licking her cheek in an excited doggy kiss of joy. This earns a happy giggle on her part, followed by her promptly beginning to gently stroke his back.

427 snorts out a brief bit of laughter, further antagonizing Lucas.

'I didn't even say anything this time!'

[I could still tell, I know you well enough by now.]

'...'

With no consideration for Lucas's feelings, 427 breaks out in open laughter at his sulking. Or perhaps it isn't fair to say without consideration, he certainly considered his feelings, and actively chose to hurt them.

'...Jerk.'

Bitterly attempting to end the blatant display of puppy love across from him, Lucas loudly clears his throat.

"So do we need to do anything further to finalize it all?" Despite the intensity of his resentment, Lucas manages a mostly normal tone while asking.

"Ah, right. FR-023 doesn't require an audio recording, as the party in question usually wouldn't understand nor be able to consent, so we just need to scan your chip again and your fingerprint. If you'd like, we can also put Willy's paw-print on file as well, although that is of limited usefulness. His nose print would be more unique, though that isn't exactly something that is commonly checked, heh." As Miss Calculated is pulled back to the matter at hand, she still hasn't stopped the movements of her hands, continuing to thoroughly pet a certain good boi.

"Makes sense, lets wrap it up then. Hmm, we should grab a bite before going to M- Ahem, Mark's place. Whatcha guys want? My treat." Trying to get the ball rolling, Lucas absentmindedly extends a lunch-date invitation to all three ladies in attendance. With the money now at his and Jonathan's disposal, he'd unthinkingly offer for just about anyone, when a woman is involved it's a complete no-brainer, as far as he's concerned. Shame that logic is literally out of this world.

The first to react is Miss Calculated, immediately freezing all movements and just openly staring at Lucas, not making a sound.

Within a very narrow window of time, both Miss Masher and Miss Chievous turn to look at him as well, equally quiet for a few seconds.

Given the position she was lying in, Miss Chievous is holding herself up in a lazy half-assed pushup in order to lift her head enough to look at him. Slowly, a large grin stretches across her face, which is immediately noticed by Lucas.

"Don't just pick the most expensive thing possible just to troll me!" As Lucas completely sees through Miss Chievous's intentions, she snorts and face-plants onto the couch again.

[...That wasn't the only issue... Although, you did at least earn a little GDV for it.]

'Eh?'

-----

Lucas kills this chapter: 0

Lucas total kills: 7

Lucas deaths this chapter: 0

Lucas total deaths: 10

Lucas current GDV: 10.45 (+.01 -.01 +.01 = +.01 net change)

Lucas's fame level: 3.5* (Beyond just local, viral meme tier)

Lucas's hero suspicion level: 2.5* (More than just passing suspicion for a few paranoid individuals)

Jonathan kills this chapter: 0

Jonathan total kills: 5

Jonathan deaths this chapter: 0

Jonathan total deaths: 2

Jonathan current GDV: 2.19

Jonathan's fame level: 2* (Mostly just local)

Jonathan's hero suspicion level: 1* (Only highly paranoid people)

Willy's fame level: 1* (anonymous meme fame, local fame as 'Xenoclast's dog')

Supervillain social circle size: 11

-----

Little character theater:

Jonathan, repeatedly tugging on Lucas's sleeve, out of sight of the sisters: Wh-what are you doing!?

Willy, also finding the offer strangely unexpected: Bark?

Lucas, completely oblivious as to what is wrong: Why're they staring?

427, mentally face-palming: [At least you didn't call it a date. You need to understand that people only make offers like that when they want something and are setting up a bribe or such...]

Author, shaking their head and sighing: Well, at least you didn't phrase it in a way with any weird local connotation, Lucas.

Mr. Quacks, already wearing a lobster bib: Quack!