Chapter 19

"Hey Amanda"

I took off my airpods and closed my locker so I could see who was talking to me. It was Jeremy. He looked way better than he did the last time I saw him. His arm was wrapped with a white bandage.

"Hi Jeremy, how are you?"

"I'm doing better"

"That's good"

I'm very happy to see that he's doing better now.

He scratched his neck like he was nervous to say something. What could he possibly be nervous about?

"Thanks for the other day" he said "you came to see me in the hospital"

"Oh don't sweat it. I'm glad you're okay"

"I was wondering if I could come over to your place for you could teach me what I've missed. I heard tests are next week"

"Of course. We can start today, come over by four. You haven't missed much"

He nodded still staring at me. There was an awkward silence between us. We just stood there looking at each other.

"Do you have something on your mind?" I asked him

"Yes I do"

"I'm here for you, let it out"

He sighed

"I miss you"

What?

"I miss you a lot" he continued "I want you back"

I blinked several times to make sure I wasn't day dreaming. He almost cheated on me, now he has the nerve to say he wants me back?

"I'm sorry. You can't have me back" I told him

He frowned

"Why not? Is it because of that Harry dude? I've heard you two are getting close. Stay away from him, he's a bad person"

"Don't you dare blame this on Harry!" I snapped "you were about to cheat on me in the same place where I was. You couldn't even respect the fact that I was there. How would you feel if I did that to you? You even told her you were single"

I won't tolerate him speaking bad about Harry. Harry seemed like a better person than Jeremy was.

"I'm sorry. I was drunk, that's why I said those things. I love you Amanda. I would have never gone upstairs with that girl"

I was too stunned to say anything. Should I believe him?

"I can't get you off my mind" he said "I need you"

"I-i don't know what to say"

"Promise me you'll think about it at least?"

I sighed

"I will"

"Thank you. I'll see you after school"

"Sure"

He kissed me on the cheek before leaving.

Oh no. What the hell just happened?

The first thing that came to my mind was to text my friends

Me: Guys, I have a problem. Meet me in the library ASAP!

I sent the message to both of them. I went to the library and waited for them in our usual seats. In less than five minutes, they walked in through the door in a hurry.

I waved at them signalling where I was seated. They sat around me in our usual circle position.

"We got your message" Janet said

"We came as fast as we could" Keisha added "what's up?"

I took a deep breath before answering

"Jeremy wants me back"

"What?!" They screamed

"Shhhhhhh!" The librarian at the other side of the room shushed them

"Keep your voice down" I told them "he told me that he wouldn't have taken the girl at the party upstairs, that he was drunk"

"And you believe him?" Keisha questioned

"Of course she does" Janet said "why would he lie?"

"What about Harry?" Keisha asked

That's true. What about Harry?

Harry made me feel free and alive. I could be myself around him without the fear of being judged. I have feelings for him, no doubt about that

"I don't know" I replied

"She can't throw away three years away for someone she barely knows" Janet said

"He basically cheated on her in the same place she was" Keisha argued "Besides, someone you've known for just three weeks can make you feel more stuff than someone you've been with for three years can make you feel. Its not about the time Janet, It's about the person"

"Screw that theory. He said he wouldn't have done anything"

"That's a fucking lie. He'd say anything to get Amanda back"

"Do you still love Jeremy?" Janet asked

That I don't know but I still had feelings for him. How could I not? We've been together for such a long time.

Ever since I met Harry, I started to see things in a different perspective. My mind is more open. I've been with Jeremy for that long not because I wanted to but because I had to

He was the perfect boyfriend in my parents' eyes

-great grades

-comes from a rich family

-has a Christian background

Harry on the other hand was a guy with a bad reputation, a criminal record, lots of tattoos, poor education from what I heard. I don't even think he believes in God .But he is the one that I wanted .

No. I don't love Jeremy

"It doesn't matter" Keisha said ''you should tell Harry about this"

"Why?" I asked. I don't want to hurt his feelings

"Because you two have feelings for each other. You can't hide it from him"

"She's right" Janet agreed

"I don't want to get back with Jeremy" I confessed

"Then don't" said Keisha

"Why?" Janet asked "is it because of Harry"

"Yes and no"

"What if this thing you have with Harry fades? What if you find out he's playing you? What if its just a mere attraction?"

Hmmm she really does have a point there. What if everything turns out to be a physical attraction?

I felt like the world around me was spinning . I put my head in my hands to stop myself from getting dizzy. I don't work well under pressure.

I have a lot of thinking to do

Harry

I hummed an unfamiliar tune as I cleaned the glass cups I was going to use to sell alcohol in the evening.

I almost groaned out loud when I heard the doorbell. I just hate attending to people.

To my surprise it was Keisha and Janet

"Hey Harry" they said

"Hi girls"

They walked over to the back to sit in the booth they stayed in yesterday. I was just about to ask about Amanda until I saw her come in.

My heart almost stopped at the sight.. God this girl is beautiful

She was wearing a plain red top paired with jeans and sneakers. So simple yet perfect. Her long curly hair was let down.

I couldn't help but smile when she smiled at me.

"Hey Harry" she said softly before sitting on one of the stools across me

"Hi Angel"

My day was brightened up already

"How are you?" She asked me

"Good, now that I've seen you"

She giggled

"I have something to tell you" she said. She looked scared to say it. I cocked my head to the side in curiosity. What could she be so afraid to say?

"Go ahead love"

I noticed she was hesitant at first

"Jeremy wants me back"

He what?

I didn't say anything. I couldn't. What do I say to that? I continued working

"Harry" she called quietly "are you upset?"

Of course I'm upset.

If he wants her back, she has every right to say yes.

He has everything; good looks, a fancy car, he comes from a rich home and her family likes him while I had nothing; just a couple of tattoos to boost my ego, a crappy small apartment and a stolen iPhone.

"You want him back too?" I asked

"No... I don't know"

See what I mean

"You know what? Do whatever you want" I said "I don't care"

"Harry... I... "

"Save it"

I left her there and entered the kitchen banging the door behind me

Amanda

"This doesn't make sense" Jeremy complained

"You got hit in the head real bad in that accident, didn't you?"

"Haha very funny" he rolled his eyes

Jeremy and I were in my room studying for our tests just like I promised we would this morning.

I couldn't get my mind off Harry. He seemed really angry when I told him about Jeremy wanting me back. I couldn't stop thinking about it. I sort of felt bad for him.

"What's got your head in the clouds?" Jeremy asked me

I sighed

"Nothing... Just keep working"

He shrugged and continued the work I gave him. He was almost done.

What if Harry was playing me? I've heard all sorts of rumors about him

What if this was just a mere attraction that would fade just like Janet said?

I know I like Harry, probably more than I should since we barely know each other but I'm growing up. I need a relationship with security.

Is Harry willing to give me that? Even if he's willing, can he?

I looked at Jeremy - the boy I've spent the last three years of my life with. The boy who almost cheated on me at a party if not that I caught him.

People make mistakes, don't they? Isn't it in a man's nature to cheat?

How am I sure Harry wouldn't do the same to me?

My heart says I should go for Harry but my brain is telling me to go for Jeremy

Jeremy is capable of taking care of us financially and emotionally. Both our parents approve of the relationship.

I know it's wrong to say this - what can Harry give me?

What if I'm just a game to him?

A knock sounded on my door

"Come in"

Harry entered my room. I was shocked to see him especially after the way he reacted this afternoon.

What is he doing here?

"Can I talk to you?" He asked. His eyes were pleading for me to say yes

"I was about leaving anyways" Jeremy said standing up. "Thanks for helping me. I'll see you in school tomorrow"

"Yeah. I'll see you"

"Think about what I said, okay?"

"Okay "

He grabbed his bag with his uninjured arm and left my room

"Amanda I'm sorry for the way I walked out on you" Harry apologized

He is so sweet. Its making it hard for me to do this

"I should be the one apologizing " I said sitting up "for what I'm about to do"

"What do you mean?"

"We need to end this. Whatever this is"

It's probably for the best. I can't have my heart broken again. Harry is a notorious player and criminal. Why would he want to be with a girl like me?

"What? Why?"

"We're two different people"

"But that's why we fit so perfectly"

God. He's right

"I'm sorry Harry. We just have to" I whispered

He stood there for a while. He closed his eyes and took deep breaths

"Are you sure about this?" He questions "Do you really want this"

Hell no I don't

"Yes"

He went out and closed the door quietly behind him without another word