Chapter 201

Hydrangea stumbled out of the bed and groaned. Her legs were not only unsteady from how many times Bastian had rode her the previous night, but from her seasickness.

She rushed to the bucket reserved for her and emptied her dinner from the previous evening.

She groaned into the bucket as her nausea subsided.

She hadn't felt seasick the first few days aboard, but after a few weeks, it had hit full-force and she could never venture far from her bucket.

Food no longer stayed down and her skin was perpetually a shade of green.

Some nights, even the smell of Bastian and of the ocean caused her to vomit.

She crawled to the bed and leaned against it, closing her eyes and grumbling about seasickness. She forced her eyes open when the rocking of the ship proved too much. She rushed over to her bucket and vomited the bile from her stomach.

She clutched at her stomach as she walked over to the door and to the privy. She'd been aboard the Venerable for just over a month now and she wished it to be over.

Once she finished with her business she left the privy, knowing she'd have to visit it soon once more, and rounded the corner to find Aidana standing there.

The woman had kept to herself for most of the voyage, but they still spoke on occasion.

"Hello." Hydrangea said pensively.

She looked up and thinned her lips before smiling friendly, "Hello. Can we talk?"

Hydrangea's brows rose but she nodded, "Yes."

"Did I ever tell you that I had two children?"

Hydrangea swallowed at the woman's strange opening. She shook her head, "No."

"Hm." She licked her lips and Hydrangea narrowed her eyes at her nervousness. "Why don't we go to your cabin."

She began to march in the direction of her and Bastian's cabin and she followed, catching herself on the wall at the sudden onslaught of nausea. Aidana came back and kindly helped her to the cabin and to the bed.

She covered her eyes as the dizziness slowly faded.

"As I was saying." Aidana began again, "I would… I knew that I was pregnant usually by how-my breasts would be sore."

Hydrangea slowly lowered her hand and looked at the woman. Was it normal for women to give other women advice on pregnancy? She wondered as Aidana continued.

"I would feel nauseous and I would need to… urinate more often. And after that I would ask myself if I'd had my monthly yet." She paused and looked at Hydrangea, her blue eyes asking a question the Hydrangea was reluctant to answer.

Her eyes darted to the side as she quickly thought of when she'd last had her woman's time. It had been well over a month.

Her lips parted open and she began to list the other things Aidana had said. Her breasts had felt sore, but she'd just contributed it to the fact that Bastian enjoyed them so much. Her cheeks burned red but she shook her head. She felt nauseous all the time.

Bastian had teased her about it but he was really worried with how much of her stomach contents came up.

"It's not sea sickness." She whispered as the truth hit her like a raging bull.

She snapped her head up to see Aidana watching her with folded lips and shaking her head slightly. She raised her hands when she saw the panic flare up in Hydrangea's eyes. "Now we don't know for sure. It could be sea sickness and your breasts could be sore from all the horsing around you and your husband have been doing."

Hydrangea's jaw fell open in horror and her entire face went beet red.

Aidana laughed, "It's alright, dear. It's nothing to be ashamed of. It's something to be proud of. A husband and wife who play and-"

Hydrangea raised her hand and silenced the woman. That part of her life was… was not to be spoken of out loud. She couldn't even say a word out about it with Bastian.

Aidana chuckled silently at the young woman's shy nature. Her smile turned gentle, "Hon, maybe your monthly just skipped. Or…" She paused as though waiting for Hydrangea to fill in the blanks.

She knew it was entirely possible, but at a time like this? On the ocean? By the time they'd get back to Cadarama she'd be… five months and unable to help Bastian in any way.

"Oh, Bastian." She whispered, her mind suddenly overwhelmed with what she would tell him. She definitely could not keep it a secret forever. Her body would start to change and he'd notice if she didn't tell him.

She jumped at the hand on her shoulder, "Honey. Your majesty. It's your decision when you tell him. But, I'm my opinion, public places are the best." She smiled with a reminiscent look in her eyes, "Both times I told my husband it was in a public place. And I find it hysterical."

Hydrangea looked at her in bewilderment. How could she find something like this funny?

"First time, we weren't married yet and uh, he was in a tavern and I walked up to him and told him. Oh, you should've seen the look on his face. It was precious. He was a little drunk and he nearly fell off his stool. Next time, well… we were at his sister's house, for a festival of some sort.. the Erkindil Festival. Anyways, I told him there. His sister was right in the other room and he looked like a scared little puppy."

"Why was he scared?" Hydrangea asked quietly.

Aidana's smile tamed and she looked at the young queen, "Do you feel scared?"

Hydrangea recounted her feelings and nodded, letting her fear shine through.

Aidana reached over and placed her hand on hers, "It's scary. It's okay to be scared. You…" She paused a long time before speaking. Hydrangea was rather amazed with how long and with how much quantity the woman could speak. "The excitement will hit you out of nowhere. And then, the fear will come back, and then the excitement. It is a scary thing, but it's also one of the most thrilling parts of your life."

Hydrangea nodded, "Do you think Bastian will be scared?"

Aidana seemed to ponder this, "I think… the Primals—or whoever is in charge of things—gave women this, fearlessness when it comes to childbearing. And men?" She laughed, "Oh, honey. They are terrified. For no reason, they've no reason to be afraid. But, I think it's the thought that they have to teach someone, and not just anyone, their own blood."

Hydrangea nodded, suddenly worried about how Bastian would react. He'd said he wanted children. She grimaced and held her head. She was going to have a child. A baby. She was carrying Bastian's baby.

She felt an odd rush of fear and excitement. Just as Aidana had said.

"But they're just as excited. And your husband is a good man. A better man than the one I spied on for…" She met Hydrangea's surprised eyes, "A long time. And you can tell the good ones from the bad ones. I can tell your husband is a good one."

Hydrangea laughed lightly, she knew he was.

"The bad ones are the ones that don't give one wit about you, they only care about the baby. Or they don't even care about the baby. The good ones are the ones who will care with their whole heart about you and this child."

Tears stung Hydrangea's eyes and her hand covered her mouth.

"Oh, and you'll find that you'll cry at the strangest things. Hell, I once cried at a basket of berries. I don't even know why." She chuckled.

Hydrangea's lips rose into a watery smile as the tears slipped from her eyes. She didn't know why she was crying. Everything was just a lot at that moment.

"You don't have to tell him in public if you don't want to. You tell him when you feel it's best."

Hydrangea nodded and watched as the woman walked to the door.

"Aidana."

"Yes?" She turned back to look at her.

"He said that he wanted children. I-I just think he wanted to have them in the palace and not on a boat."

Aidana smiled, "Well, babies don't wait for an invitation."

Hydrangea nodded with a calmer smile, "Thank you, Aidana."

The woman smiled, "Of course, your majesty."