Chapter 19

I had been working with Dr. Colleen for about a month now. She always told me we were making progress. That she was going to figure out how to unlock whatever is inside me to help me shift. I would have to say if anyone can fix me it would be her.

I started working back at the shop a few weeks ago. Everyone was glad to have me back and it felt really nice to be missed. It felt even better to be needed. All the other employees at the shop had made me cards and said they had missed me. I wasn't exactly sure what my uncle told them happened…though in a pack there are only so many secrets you can keep.

I was pretty sure he only told them I had a nervous breakdown not that…he didn't tell them about what happened to me. Though I'm not even sure he knows to be honest. I had an inkling because he's acting way more…well conscious of where he stands by me since that day I yelled at Dr. Colleen. I couldn't tell you I was just going to try to get past it.

Today I'm supposed to meet my friend Colton. After I found that note the day of my mom's memorial he'd been coming back the pack house not just to see my dad but to come see if I was okay. It was really nice of him. Hope came every day too but it was nice to have someone who had no other involvement with me to actually care. He seemed really genuine and kind. He was one of the ones who found me after I discovered the note. I knew he had questions but he didn't ask them. He didn't pretend the event didn't happen but he never acted overly curious or tried to trick me into talking about it.

He always just worried about how I was doing that day and wanted to see if he could make that day any better. I think other than Hope he's the closest thing I have to a best friend. He's supposed to be picking me up today from work and we're going to go for a walk. I want to take him to my mom's meadow. It's the calmest place I can think of.

I had just finished working and was walking out the door when I heard his voice.

"Where are you off in such a hurry Em?" Colton asked. Of course he had that smirk on his face. I had learned over the last month that he was a giant flirt. Though when I talked to Delilah and Hope about it they said he had always been a flirt. They weren't sure if he had found his mate but I really hope he does. He's so kind. He deserves all the happiness that can be given.

"To see you, duh." I laughed and walked out the door, he quickly followed. "I want to go to this meadow back behind the pack house. It was my mom's favorite place." I smiled and looked over at him. Colton nodded. "Sounds good to me."

We spent the walk over there doing normal chatting. He asked about my day…I asked about his. Very normal conversations.

"When do you think your dad is going to bring you over to pack management?" Colton asked.

"Oh I don't know. The last time he mentioned it he said he was going to wait to see what Colleen knew about my shifting. I assume once he thinks I've gotten over the incident he will." I shrugged. It felt embarrassing to talk about that day. I know he was there but I still feel upset. I caused a huge panic. They never even found a trace of any shifter that wasn't part of the pack on the territory. They even had checked the next pack over and no one had rouge sightings.

It was all just so confusing. We got the meadow and I took a seat right in the middle of the flowers.

"You're right it is peaceful here." Colton looked over at me and smiled. "I don't think I've ever been here before."

I faked a gasp and covered my mouth in surprise. Colton jerked his head towards me and his eyes got big. "Shit what what's wrong?"

I couldn't control myself and I started to laugh. "You've never been here before. How dare you." I could barely make it through the sentence without cracking up.

Colton shortly realized that I was attempting to be funny and rolled his eyes at me and laid on the grass.

"You're hysterical." He gave me a chuckle. I guess you could say Colton was handsome. All the female shifters who didn't have mates…and some of the ones who did thought he was. Delilah told me he could have his pick of anyone but he's never settled with anyone.

I wonder if he actually will. It didn't really matter if I thought he was handsome or not. He was nice…and kind...and honest. Whenever he's done being a player or whatever he is I'm sure he'll find the right shifter or even better his mate.

"You've been getting better." Colton mentioned looking up at me. It was then I noticed he had been touching my hand. How had a not felt him touch me? Now that I could see and feel he was practically holding my hand I had to fight the urge to rip it away from him.

"I'm doing my best. Dr. Colleen is helping. Apparently talking about the attack over and over again will heal me." I replied sarcastically.

"The one that caused the scars on your legs?" Colton asked leaning up on his elbows.

��No the ones on my stomach...and places." I tired very hard to not shut down. Dr. Colleen and I had talked extensively about how its not my fault and how I needed to let go of the shame but that was a lot harder then you could imagine.

"Ah right. Two different ones. We don't have to talk about. My brother's going to be coming home soon." Colton smiled brightly. He always smiled when he talked about his siblings.

"Where is he again?" I sort of remembered Colton talking about his brother but not in great detail.

"He is like a lawyer but for packs so he rotates between a few packs along the East Coast and manages their legal stuff. Sometimes I wonder how he's so accomplished. He's only 21 but that's what you get when you're a certified genius." Colton laughed and picked at the grass.

"You really do admire him don't you?" I asked poking his cheek with a blade of grass.

"He's a smart guy." Colton Shrugged. "So are you." This time I poked his forehead. It was interesting Colton's dynamic. When it was just me and him or me, him and Hope he was so vulnerable and open but as soon as anyone else gets in ear shot it's like he goes on alert and starts putting on some expected persona. Don't get me wrong he's still pretty much the same guy but it's like a slight sheen is over top of him.

In some ways it's how I see my dad. When it's just me and my dad he's this crazy fun loving weirdo but…when pack members show up his demeanor changes completely. I wonder if it's a pack leader thing? Am I going to have to change?

"What's going on up there?" Colton asked pressing against my cheek with his finger.

"I was just thinking about how you remind me of my dad."

Colton started to cough and blink his eyes quickly. It was like he was choking but I couldn't tell you what on.

"Oh my god Colt are you okay?" I didn't know what to do. I'd never saved someone from a potentially choking on their on saliva incident before. Colton thankfully recovered before I could get up to start the emergency yell.

"I'm fine just…why am I liked your dad?" I guess that embarrassed him.

"You're similar. You have your with me attitude and your with pack attitude." I shrugged. "It's not a bad thing. I'm guessing you have to be that way to run a pack."

Colton nodded and laid back down. "I guess you could say that. I mean I did learn everything I know about running a pack from your dad. So I'm not surprised if I act like him. My dad wasn't really around when I was going up and when he was it got ugly."

I frowned and placed a hand on his shoulder lightly. "I'm so sorry Colton if you ever want to talk about it…I'm a pretty good listener."

Colton smiled up at me and shrugged. "I'm pretty good. You should lay down and look up at these beautiful clouds with me."

I looked up and saw the big poufy clouds filling up the sky. I laid down next to him making sure I gave us room to not bump into each other and looked up.

"Oh oh look it's a dinosaur." I called out pointing up at the sky. Colton laughed at me. "No way that's a crocodile."

He was insane! How dare he think my lovely T-Rex was a crocodile.

"No no no you silly goose." I shook my finger at him and pretended to pout. Colton smiled wider and looked back up the sky. "I see a dog."

"Ooohh where?" I started looking around but I couldn't see it.

"Right there." Colton pointed so I could see and I started to laugh. "That's a cat." I corrected him giving my a look.

Colton was easy to talk to just like my cousin. I was very glad to be his friend. We laid so long that I grew tired and started to doze. I didn't even notice as I completely fell asleep.