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HP X LOTM : Please Call Me Mr. Error.

"When did I sign away my wealth to you!?" Lockhart asked, shocked. "That's the neat part about it, you don't know.", Loki said with a smile. "Hmm...I can feel it. I can feel the power coursing through my veins." Voldemort said as he felt his face after his rebirth. "Huh? Where's my nose!!!?" "Obviously, I have it! Do you want it? If you want it you need to praise Dumbledore!!" Loki said with an innocent smile. "Lord Voldemort does not need to listen to yo- Dumbledore is the greatest wizard of all time!!" Voldemort said with fanatic eyes, creating confusion amongst the death eaters. 'What!? Why am I saying this!? What did he do to me!?' "Who are you!??" Dumbledore asked calmly. "Me? Have I not introduced myself yet? Please call me Mr. Error." Loki said with a smile while adjusting the monocle over his right eye. Read more about Loki's adventures as he walks through his years at Hogwarts meeting and scamming an array of famous personalities that have become infamed in the world of Harry Potter. ********************************************************** Read 20 chapters ahead on my p@treon for $3 (USD) by going to the link, pa treon.com/hooin_kyoma_au . Remember to remove the space between 'a' and 't'.

Hooin_Kyoma · Book&Literature
Not enough ratings
241 Chs

Troll In The Dungeon.

Getting up early on Monday, Loki greeted Dominic, and had breakfast with him only to rush back to the dungeons since Potions was the first class of the Day.

The class wasn't anything special, Loki paired with Hermione to further study the Cure for Boils potion which he now understood better thanks to the Emo Half-Blood Prince Book.

During class, Loki quietly slipped a little bit of Rose oil into a small flask of his own without anyone knowing any better.

Since the next class was DADA Loki skipped class and went to the washroom where he summoned his Niffler and used a few flasks that were in its pocket to cook up the Sequence 8 Midnight Poet Potion that was a light lavender-pink in colour and glimmered as if it contained the stars.

"Ready?" Loki asked the little rodent in front of him.

*Squeak*

Nodding confidently the Niffler tilted the flask containing the potion and gulped it all down in a jiffy.

Loki watched as the potion caused Sunny's body to bubble up a little but before anything drastic could happen the Niffler used Cogitation to calm himself down.

And once the bubbling receded Sunny opened his eyes and looked at himself and as if satisfied he looked at Loki with a smug smile.

"Stop staring at me like you've won some contest! It's not a race to the top." Loki said indignantly.

*Squeak* *Squeak*

The Niffler paraded by itself and Loki did his best to ignore him but after it got a little too much Loki 'accidentally' kicked him back into the spirit world.

Days passed as Loki continued attending classes, doing well in the Potions classes because of Snape's book, skipping Quirrels DADA classes, reading his Ancient Runes book and also his Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them textbook all while spending time in detention with various teachers.

And from his occasional meetings with Hermione, Loki got to know that the smell of garlic in the DADA class had only gotten stronger and now a lot of the lower years had taken to skipping the class like he had, even though they got detention with different professors for it later.

"Do you think they'll replace the professor?" Loki asked Hermione casually in the library.

"I don't know. Half of his classes are now empty." Hermione said and went back to finishing her homework.

Over the next month, Loki visited the Forbidden Forest with Hagrid multiple times, almost going whenever the friendly half-giant himself did.

Now was such a time.

"Hagrid aren't the Unicorns tense?" Loki asked while applying the paste of Dittany on a young Unicorn's wound and covering it up with Unicorn tail hairs to not let the paste get wiped away.

"They are, aren't they? But for the life of me I can't seem to find out why. I've patrolled their territory multiple times but I can't seem to find anyone or anything that might cause them harm."

"Are you sure it's not the Acromatula?" Loki asked while the young foal who he had just helped licked his face as a sign of affection and thanks.

"No. I spoke to Argog myself. He promised that they were not hunting any unicorns. It is poisonous to drink Unicorn blood, drinking it curses your body to rot even while you're alive."

"*sigh* if only they would tell us what's wrong." Loki said looking at the adult Unicorns accusingly as they snorted back at Loki laughing at his plight.

"They're o'f the proud sort. They don't want anyone to help them in their troubles. They w'ant to handle it on their own."

"Well, that's all we can do for now. I'll make sure to keep an eye out for anything troublesome happening in the forbidden forest after my detention from today." Loki said trying to comfort himself.

"I still can't believe you got Professor Snape to allow you to visit the Forbidden Forest!"

"Hehe~ All I had to do was bribe him with some fresh herbs from the forest and he agreed to let me in."

"You're still a firste. Don't go forgettin' that." Hagrid said thumping Loki's back.

"Yeah yeah Professor Hagrid, I shall remember.", Loki said waving his hands at the Unicorn as they walked out of the forest.

"Do you want me to carry any more pumpkins to Professor Flitwick?"

"No, I already delivered the last batch that grew this mornin', you don't have to carry anything now, just go back and enjoy the feast like a child like you should."

"Not like I have any friends to enjoy the festive atmosphere anyway."

"I heard you declined Professor McGonagall's invitation to her Transfiguration club?"

"I didn't decline it, it was more like I was forced to since I knew Professor McGonagall was taking pity on social life. I know I'm not good enough at Transfiguration to attend the club yet."

"Not good enough eh'"

"Yep.", Loki said popping his p. "See you later then Hagrid!" Loki said and started walking to the Great Hall after changing out of his rubber boots that he wore to go into the forest so that he wouldn't drag back dirt into the castle.

"The feast is about to begin." A voice reminded Loki as he stepped into the castle.

"Filch!" Loki shouted as he spotted the cat carrying skinny old man who moved around Hogwarts. "How's Mis Norris?"

"She's doing fine." *Meow*

"Are you attending the feast too?" Loki asked calmly.

"No, I have to keep an eye on the kids who might try to use the distraction of the feast to plant dung bombs in unsavoury places."

"Arghh Filch! How many times do I have to tell you, just get some House Elf to clean it up, why don't you listen to me?"

"Somethings are better handled personally.", Filch said dangerously and began to walk away, letting Loki go to the Great Hall.

'Now that I think about it, wouldn't Filch no longer be a squib if he drank a Beyonder potion? Then why doesn't he just do that? Shouldn't people have already offered him such a solution?'

Entering the Great Hall, Loki spotted Dominic sitting on the Slytherin table and walked to sit beside him.

Just as he greeted Dominic and sat himself down, the doors to the Great Hall opened once again with a bang.

Loki saw Professor Quirrel run up to the teacher's table and shout, "Troll- Troll!!!! In!! The!! Dungeon!!" in a loud voice, before he said in a quieter tone, "Thought you ought to know." and promptly collapsed.

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