God I hate Politics

Upon his entry to Slytherin he was not awarded with cheers but with rather gaunt faces.

The moment he sat down in fact some of his seniors sneered at him.

But none of that was on his mind at the current moment, you know why? Because in front of him there were plates upon plates of food he had naver seen before, let alone tried.

Werebear steak? How lovely. Imp horn soup? Delectable! Kraken caviar? Don't mind if I do.

The foods that were stuffed down his throat had to be at least 100, no 200 galleons worth! But he had to say, this food reminded him when he ate dinners with his boss's family, it was very rich and luxurios but there was no love to it, there was no essence of joy when it was being meticulously cooked, like in the way one would prefer Grandma's classic berry cobble, than Chef Martino's Tarte du baie or something like that.

The Gryffindors had that kind of wonderful treatment, same with the Hufflepuffs. Was there some favoritism? Probably, but Hogwarts houses could be placed on an alignment chart.

The more cunning, intelligent, or ambitious you were, the better you were suited towards Ravenclaw or Slytherin, which you could characterize as more colder houses as well, that's the sort of feeling you get from those houses, down to business.

The more brave, kind, or courageous you were, the better suited towards Gryffindor or Hufflepuff, the houses didn't have symbols that connected to intelligence, but to feelings and emotions, people from these houses were more warm in the way they could be characterized.

Deacon was an anomaly, he had been kind and courageous in one life, but sly and cunning in another, whichever life's characters impacted him the most however, he had to say it was Godrick, considering he has been sorted into Slytherin.

"Hey... Hey are you paying attention to your surrounding at all?"

To Deacon's right was sat a slightly chubby girl with brown hair, she seemed like she came straight off a golden waterslide with the way she looked so pompous, she must have come from some sort of pureblood family if she had this face... Or a really rich muggle family who was trigger-happy with their credit cards.

"Yeah I think"

"If you were you would have stopped eating! Dumbledore was making his announcements and you didn't even hear him!"

Oh yeah Dumbledore, Deacon kind of phased out the man's voice after saying something about how going to the third floor meant a gruesome death, but who cares? He's a Slytherin, he should be plotting how to take over magical Europe via diplomacy or force or something like that, god there had to be something better that this strange-tasting fish that he just put in his mouth.

Wait.

*Click*

"Can I have some soup?"

*Pop*

"Nice!"

There were house elves, that meant he could ask for pretty much anything! He knew it wasn't fake since in the tiniest smidge of a moment he could see a short, shriveled figure leave a bowl of soup where there was previously a strange vintage fish.

"Don't ignore me!"

The chubby girl next to him was becoming more annoying by the second and it was starting to draw attention to him, if it was drawing attention it either meant that it was something important she had to tell him, or she was someone important, which he didn't doubt, the fact her face was a perfect circle practically confirmed his thoughts.

"Are you a pureblood, or a half-blood!"

"Muggle-born, probably, now pipe down so I can eat my soup"

Well, that was a poorly calculated move since she did not in fact "pipe down", in fact she made him wonder if there was a banshee somewhere in her lineage, those screams could have awakened his half-deaf uncle from another universe.

Suddenly, there was a spell that spanned across the entirety of the hall, as Deacon was compelled to sing along to some abomination of a song, strange wordplays, and no particular tune, there had to be some spell or curse out there so he could just tear away his ear canals, what's better to not hear this horrid music, than not hearing anything? It would even silence the bashee's screams!

The problem? He couldn't even hate on it since he was singing too! The had to be one of the most humiliating things he had done in all of his years of lives. 

Finally, after a few gruelling minutes. The old wanker finally clapped his hands together and the acursed song had ended.

"Ah music, a magic beyond all tha we do here! And now bedtime. Off you trot!'

The Fossilized ponce sent them off with a wave of his hand as all the house prefects roundec up the students like a dog herded sheep, and brought them to their common rooms.

The Slytherin common room was under a large amount of stair, deep down in the basement, and it looked very eery at this time of night, it had the perfect set up for a magic horror movie considering the lights were a sickly dim green, and the floor was just straight up stone bricks.

The Slytherin perfect were practically stone-faced, if a bomb went off in front of them they wouldn't even blink and just walk away like badasses, and they were elegant and malevolently polite about the whole situation. Deacon doubted it would be a nice feeling to be herding 11 year-olds at the start of your school year, especially when all your friends have already gone to bed.

The female prefect was nothing much to behold, she had brown hair, a stone-cold face, and a penchant for misery, as for how Deacon knew that he... didn't exactly know why. It felt like his mind was constantly wandering while his soul was grounded. His head was in the clouds and his eyes on the ground.

Apparently, the common room had a password, but it was written on a chalkboard in the far east corner of the room so he had no need to remember it by heart. As for the dorms, the boys dorms were towards the right and the girls dorms were towards the left, if anyone of the opposite gender tried to go to the other's dorms they would be automatically covered in snake shit, magical, enchanted, snake shit, it was quite frankly a wonder how they got so many snakes to poo enough to cover a person, they went through the effort of enchanting and putting it, for BOTH dorms.

Gender equality at its finest.

The boy's dorms were interesting, as they were separated by years instead of each student having a particular room, he had two roomates in particular, one Gregory Goyle, and another Vincent Crabbe.

This is going to be a very, very fun year isn't it?