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HP: The Crazy One

What if someone with a unique method of thinking got thrown into the HP verse after suddenly dying? Let's find out. ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------ Release Schedule: I'll god damn try! !!!! READ THIS The first few chapters are short, because I wrote them all within the same day and uploaded them in 'parts', a mistake in hindsight, I do more longer chapters now. Synopsis changes as the story changes, or as I get better at writing. Oh yea, join my discord. https://discord.gg/PHMamKF3mF It is an AU (alternate universe) Im not adverse to feedback and I, in fact, encourage it. Please destroy my writing style for the sake of improving it and not just 'FictionOnlyReader writes better than you.' Yes, while I know this is true, it's not very helpful to improve. ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------ Disclaimer: I obviously don't own Harry Potter or anything from it. Please see JK Rowling if you're looking for a much more well-written book about Harry Potter. I also liked reading the Percy Jackson novels as well as the Heroes of Olympus when they were written. All of them are good books and I personally recommend Heros of Olympus (not that my word means anything to you).

Ganoush · Book&Literature
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47 Chs

A Strange Owl and Truths

(A/N: Last reminder about scribblehub.)

[24th, July, 1992]

It was an ordinary day until I heard Meowser going nuts outside. The thing with Meowser is that she usually doesn't meow, and is generally a very quiet cat, I guess I rubbed off on her a bit. Looking at the window where the noise is coming from, I get up to take a look.

Looking outside, I spot Meowser staring at an Owl perched up on a streetlight. While this wouldn't be completely strange behaviour from Meowser considering she is a cat, what stands out to me is that the Owl is holding a letter in its mouth. While I was staring at the owl, the owl was also staring back at me, as if intelligent.

After the owl had a good look at me, it started to fly towards me, dropping the letter from its beak at my feet. Looking at the letter it dropped, I raised my head towards the owl only to see it flying back to the streetlight, staring back at me. Seeing that it's looking at me again, I bend down to pick up the letter and read the front.

----

Mr Zane Zanithy Zouglas,

The Nest,

1 Charlotmine Way,

Fosterhouses, Doncaster,

Britain.

----

Well whoever this is, wanted to be certain it reached me with such a specific address. Taking it back inside, I sit at my desk in the Nest and open the letter.

----

HOGWARTS SCHOOL of WITCHCRAFT and WIZARDRY

Headmaster Albus Dumbledore

(Order of Merlin, First Class, Grand Sorc., Chf. Warlock,

Supreme Mugwump, International Confed. of Wizards)

Dear Mr Zouglas,

We are pleased to inform you that you have been accepted at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. Please find enclosed a list of all necessary books and equipment.

Term begins on 1 September. We await your owl by no later than 31 July.

Yours sincerely,

Minerva McGonagall,

Deputy Headmistress.

(A/N: Yea I copy and pasted that, fight me. you'll catch me sleeping before I manually type that.)

----

After reading the paper, I check the envelope for the other paper mentioned. Finding it, I start reading it.

----

HOGWARTS SCHOOL of WITCHCRAFT and WIZARDRY

First-year students will require:

1. Three sets of plain work robes (black)

2. One plain pointed hat (black) for day wear

3. One pair of protective gloves (dragon hide or similar)

4. One winter cloak (black, with silver fastenings)

Please note that all pupil's clothes should carry name tags.

All students should have a copy of each of the following:

The Standard Book of Spells (Grade 1)by Miranda Goshawk

A History of Magic by Bathilda Bagshot

Magical Theory by Adalbert Waffling

A Beginner's Guide to Transfiguration by Emeric Switch

One Thousand Magical Herbs and Fungi by Phyllida Spore

Magical Drafts and Potions by Arsenius Jigger

Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them by Newt Scamander

Break with a Banshee by Gildroy Lockheart

Gadding with Ghouls by Gildroy Lockheart

Holidays with Hags by Gildroy Lockheart

Travels with Trolls by Gildroy Lockheart

Voyages with Vampires by Gildroy Lockheart

Wanderings with Werewolves by Gildroy Lockheart

Year with the Yeti by Gildroy Lockheart

OTHER EQUIPMENT

1 wand

1 cauldron (pewter, standard size 2)

1 set of glass or crystal phials

1 telescope

1 set brass scales

1 basic potions ingredients kit

Parchment

Quills

Inks

Students may also bring, if they desire, an owl OR a cat OR a toad.

PARENTS ARE REMINDED THAT FIRST YEARS ARE NOT ALLOWED THEIR OWN BROOMSTICK

----

With such an incomprehensible list presented to me, I can't help but think it's a joke. Thinking it's funny, I go to show my parents the Hogwarts Acceptance and Equipment letter.

"Hey Mum, Dad, look at this prank letter I just got."

Handing over the letter to them, they give each other a shocked look before reading it. They both look at the letter and then sit up on the couch.

"This isn't a joke." My mother looks me in the eyes.

"This is a real letter, for a real school. But I don't think you want to go."

"Wait what? What do you mean this is real, and that I don't want to go?"

"Didn't you say you didn't care about magic when my sister came over?"

Thinking back, I seem to have said something like 'I don't care' before my parents could even say something.

"No, I was referring to your sister's stuck-up attitude. What are you talking about when you say magic?"

Seeing her go silent, I start to get nervous. Slowly, I remember all the strange things that occurred around me but always ignored them. My bed was magically clean after my mum looked at it, food on the plate always remained hot even hours after dinner was served, the doorknob shocking me and many more. Looking at my mother for an explanation, my father stepped in.

"When Martha was pregnant, we had called upon a medi-witch to test your potential for magic. And... the results they got back confirmed you had no potential for magic. A squib is what they called it. When we heard that you were a squib, we were devastated. Growing up in such a magical (literally) world, but never being able to do anything with magic would be too cruel. So we decided to set up our lives in the muggle world, living normal lives so you can have a good upbringing. And although you are strange, you grew up happy."

Staring at my father and taking it all in, had a strange thought, realizing this is the most I have spoken to him in a while. Looking at them and realizing the sacrifices they made just to let me have a semi-normal life, I look back at the letter in my mother's hands with confusion.

"If I'm a squib - that is someone without magic, then why do I have a letter from a school of magic?"

"That's the thing, Zane, this letter proves that you aren't a squib, to begin with. We suspected as much when you broke 3 plates by accident but we didn't see any other accidental magic releases, so we assumed it was just a coincidence. But this letter..." My mother explained.

"So, I have magic?"

"Yes."

Letting a wide smile form on my face, I look at my parents.

"What are we waiting for, let's go get the things the equipment parchment wants."

"Let's first reply to Hogwarts that you are going, do you know where the owl went?"

"Oh right, the owl. It's outside on the streetlight."

"Ok, we will send a reply to Hogwarts, you get ready to go shopping."

I smile and nod, walking to my room in search of the most fitting clothes to wear for my first visit to the magical world.

---------------------

Authors Corner:

Its me again, this chapter took ages to write because I couldn't write it how I wanted to. Some of this might read awkwardly, especially the dialogue. This is because I am an awkward person, and writing emotional scenes is hard. Its made twice as hard when I don't have such conversations, to begin with, giving me no experience to go off of.

I know adding all of Lockheart's books is a bit overkill, but Lockheart teaches the first years too you know. Alot of information is dumped in between the lines here. One of my readers has guessed that I'm going to be letting zane and luna interact with little information, I am impressed with that and it gives me some ideas to be more subtle with information delivery. Another thing that probably wont get explained is Zane's parents using the confundus charm on zane to not ask about the magical things that happen around him, or simply refuse to acknowledge it, a good example was when his mother decorated the Nest, which was originally a bare room, into a nice little office in under an hour.

Another thing to note is that the first recorded Hogwarts letter getting sent in the original books was on the 24th of July. Which was not harry's birthday. My understanding is that they get sent to people on the 24th of July regardless of when your birthday is, even if it is later in the year.

Lastly, only 4 chapters today. Ill probably do about the same tomorrow given my rather free schedule for fridays. However, I will let you know when I am studying for my uni subjects.

Ciao for now.

i keep getting distracted while writing this, xavier renegade does that to me I guess.

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