Chapter 26

 — So, now that I've met you, we can move on. First, a show of hands for those who have read all of my books. — Almost all girls, but that was expected, but the fact that there were fans of Lockhart's work among the boys was surprising. But magicians don't do well with fiction, it's all biographies and fairy tales with legends.

 — Who has at least a few books? — More hands.

 — Who has never read a book? — There were some, especially Harry and Ron, but not only. Malfoy pulls the paw, but his minions turned out to be, if not fans, then certainly connoisseurs.

 — It's an amazing result. Oh well. So which of you was surprised that instead of a textbook on DADA I recommended autobiographical literature of my own composition, and even fiction? — A Forest of Hands was my response.

 — Well, I'm glad that the vast majority of my students are reasonable — we smile charmingly and twirl a magic wand in our fingers, delighting children with intricate pirouettes. — Now let's use a magician's most important weapon, — I pause and point to my head, — brains, ladies and gentlemen. Why did I do this? What is it in my books that allowed me to take such a bold step?

 — The price, — muttered Ron Weasley.

 — The price! — I naively thought I wouldn't hear it. — No, Mr. Weasley, you're wrong, although I won't deny that I've made a decent amount of money, but that's not the main thing, I'm not starving. Any other thoughts? — Hermione raised her hand expectantly. — Please, Miss Granger.

 — You're describing real events, sir.

 — Close, but not quite right. How exactly am I doing this?

 — Beautiful, — the girl blushed.

 — Ha, that's good to hear, not for nothing, I spend so much time on the way my curls flutter and my cloak flaps. But there's something else. — I strike a pose, waving my wand at my imaginary enemy.

 — You're casting spells! — It dawned on the girl.

 — Bravo, miss, one point for Gryffindor. That's right, in all my books I give clear names, or at least sufficient descriptions, for potions, spells, charms, rituals, artifacts, and, of course, enemies. So, write down your homework for the month. I need you to write down all the practical information on our subject from all my writings. Since you don't know enough yet, I will reveal one more non-obvious point that can be found in my books. Does anyone who's read them remember exactly how I dealt with the vampire?

 — You used a candlestick, sir, — who would doubt Hermione's memory.

 — Exactly. But what's so remarkable about that? — That's where people got confused.

 — Er, you did it without magic, — Harry said from his seat.

 — Well done, Mr. Potter, one point for Gryffindor. Unfortunately, most wizards, when lose their wand, become helpless victims, even if they can resist effectively. But that's only one side of the coin. I didn't mention vampires for nothing, because even Muggles know about their weakness. What was so remarkable about the candelabrum I used?

 — It was bronze! — Hermione was the first to notice.

 — Very good, Miss, another point for Gryffindor. As I'm sure you know, werewolves, vampires and other dark creatures are very sensitive to silver, but I was able to destroy the enemy with ordinary bronze. What conclusion can we draw from this? — Unfortunately, not a single student drew the right conclusion.

 — Well, don't worry, you haven't encountered such creatures yet. The fact is that you can read a lot of interesting things about vampires in any reference book or advanced textbook. Among other things, there will be references to their strength, agility, endurance, regeneration, and much more. But nowhere will it say how exactly the average vampire is stronger and faster than a normal mage, what wounds they can heal, and in what time frame. Well, now that you have a clue, can you draw any conclusions?

 — So a vampire isn't that much cooler than a wizard?

 — Exactly, Mr. Weasley, exactly. Of course, I'm not your average wizard, but I can't beat a vampire hand-to-hand, but I can beat them with heavy equipment. And my readers know that vampires don't live with their heads bashed in.

 — Sir, how did you deal with the troll stun?

 — Ms. Brown, remember how the troll died and where it happened.

 — He fell down from a mountain trail.

 — And that's a very important point, — I put my finger up — because trolls are magic-resistant creatures. Of course, they are far from being dragons, but still. Tell me, though, what is it about the repulsion spell?

 — Uh, it, uh, pushes, sir.

 — Exactly! As a matter of fact, I used a lot of energy to push him off the cliff. If there had been a suitable rock nearby, I could have picked him up with my Leviosa and dropped him on his head, which would have been much easier, but I couldn't find one. Using the Slippery Ground spell was dangerous. I'd be in a lot of trouble if that filthy thing got on top of me. I'd have to throw away my clothes, and I was wearing my favorite robe and my best cloak.

 — Why throw away your clothes, sir?

 — Because the dirt on trolls is soaked in their sweat, and cleaning spells can't take it away. Well, you can, but there won't be much left of your clothes. By the way, you won't find this in every guide. They only write about it in specialized books about such things. — The kids sat there, stunned and pensive.

 — I think that's the end of the talk. I hope you've learned today's main conclusion. Now, let's get on with the test. — Hermione raised her hand firmly. — Yes, Miss Granger?

 — Excuse me, sir, but could you please tell us the main conclusion of today's lesson?

 — Don't you have any guesses? Or do you have many guesses?

 — The second, sir. I, uh, wanted to make sure.

 — Of course you are. First of all, I've shown you that there is no such thing as useless knowledge. Even in things like women's fiction, you can find something useful. You shouldn't believe everything that's written, but that doesn't change the fact. Second, I showed that appearances can be deceiving. I agree, from the outside, I look more like a ladies' man and a narcissistic peacock than a tough hero who defeats the darkness. — heh-heh. — All right, let's move on to the knowledge test — A little magic, and the kids get a rolled-up test sheet on their desks.

 — Uh, sir?

 — Yes, Ms. Granger, — the girl is starting to get a little annoying, or am I being a little biased?

 — And why are the answer choices "didn't pass," "don't remember," and "don't know"?

 — Because as your teacher, I am supposed to fill in the gaps in your education. I don't care why you don't know something. But it is very useful for you to evaluate why you can't answer the test. To work on weaknesses, you must first identify them. For example, to improve memory, there are interesting artifacts, potions, training, and even spells with rituals. So if you find a problem with your memory, you can fix it.

 — Yes, sir. Thank you. What about " Didn't pass" and "don't know"? — What a restless creature.

 — "Didn't pass" means you've at least looked at the textbooks for this course and possibly the next, at least the table of contents. The "I don't know" I assume is clear enough?

 — Yes, sir, and thank you again.

 — You're welcome, it's my job after all, — I smile warmly at the girl and receive a shy reply and a beaming look of admiration. Something sends a shiver down my spine.