Chapter 4: What Owl?

The next morning when Harry woke up, the man, whose name he still didn't know, was sitting cross-legged on the floor with his eyes closed. He was wearing the same hoodie and jeans as last night, but his suit was gone. His hood was down showing his scarred head, and there was a pair of swords on his lap.

"Mister," Harry said softly, not wanting to disturb him, but he had a question. "Mister," he said again, this time slipping out of bed.

The unmasked man cracked an eye open and said, "What?"

"What's your name, and where did the swords come from?" the child asked, reaching his hand out to touch them.

"You can call me Deadpool, or Wade, I'll answer to either. As for the swords, I've always had them," Wade said, opening both eyes to look at the kid like he was crazy. How desperate had this kid been if he went off with a stranger, who had never given his name? Then Deadpool remembered the Dursleys. Yeah, he would've too.

"No, Mr. Deadpool, you haven't," Harry said, drawing his hand back. "I think I would remember if you had swords."

"Look, kid, first of all don't call me mister. Second of all these are katanas, and they are mine, their names are Bea and Arthur, and I've always had them," he reiterated, pointing a finger at the kid as if for him to say he was wrong. Well, he'd had them the entire time he'd been in Britain and knew Harry. That was neither here nor there. All the kid needed to know is that they were his.

"I wouldn't have come with you if you had… katanas," Harry said, very seriously. Well, as well as an eleven-year-old could. "You named your swords?" he added as an afterthought. Then shrugged, if the guy wanted to name his swords, who was he to say anything. Perhaps, he should name his wand.

"Yes, I named my katanas," the affronted man said, then answered the other topic. "They were just out of sight. I promise they were always there. You're a wizard for crying out loud, get used to strange things," Deadpool said, standing up and putting the katanas in their scabbards on his back, making them cross over his spine. They seemed to disappear from sight, like there was magic on them. He then went to the door, turned, and said, "Get dressed, kid, we'll go get something to eat, do some shopping, courtesy of your uncle, then I've got a surprise for you."

He then went downstairs to terrorize the Dursleys some more. If the author wasn't going to let him kill them, then by the gods he was going to scare the living hell out of them.

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Harry was about to go to the bathroom when there was a hoot at the window. He turned around and saw the owl Hagrid had given him. He smiled and went to open the window to let her in. When she flew through, he closed it. "Hello, girl. I'll have to do some research, but I'll find a name for you," he said, petting the owl's chest.

She hooted again and moved her feet side to side, trying to get a good grip on the headboard.

Harry smiled again, and hurried through his morning routine, mostly just washing up and brushing his teeth. He had never been allowed to use the bathroom for long. He still didn't have clothes of his own, but Wade had promised that he would. So, he moved as quickly as possible, yet still getting clean and fresh.

Slipping on the least baggy clothes he had, noticing that they fit better today, he moved to go down the stairs. He was flabbergasted when he heard a voice that sounded like a baby mocking the Dursleys.

"What's the matter, you don't like what I made for you?" Deadpool teased, making sad eyes at the adult Dursleys. Dudley was sent to play as soon as the man had entered the dining room. He didn't want to traumatize the kid, like he was his parents. "I cooked them just for you," he whined in a baby voice.

Harry hurried to the room to see what Wade was doing. He loved that someone was giving back some of what Harry had endured. As he rounded the stairs, he saw Deadpool in a frilly apron, brandishing a spatula. He was waving at the Dursleys who had piles of rotted food on their plates. "I cook, I clean, and this is the thanks I get?" Deadpool said, stamping his foot on the floor and waving his implement around.

His hood was still down, and they were getting the full effect of his face. He was wavering from one emotion to another. One moment he was childlike, the next he was a stressed housewife. They were still waiting for the mood to turn threatening. This was just humiliating so far.

The Dursleys were staring at their plates, which had once held a full English breakfast, heavy on the fat. They had no idea how the rotten food came to be, but they were thankful that Dudley at least got to finish his food before being sent away.

"Deadpool, are you really going to make them eat that?" Harry asked, pointing to the plates of gross stuff.

"Nah, I was just waiting for you," the costumed man said, making the apron and spatula disappear. "I made sure the kid ate before I sent him away," he added, in case Harry thought he was some type of child abuser.

"Oh, okay," the child said, not sure why he told him this, but appreciated it anyway. "Oh, my owl showed up," he added, bouncing up and down in excitement.

"Your owl?" Deadpool questioned, not having seen the animal the day before. Or at least he didn't remember seeing one,

"Yes, Hagrid, that's the big man, bought her for me. She was my first birthday present ever," Harry said, still bouncing.

"Your first?" Wade said, with a threat in his voice, that wasn't lost on the Dursleys.

"Yeah, she's great," the boy said, finally settling down.

"Why didn't you have her when I picked you up?"

"I let her fly here. I didn't want to keep her in a cage. It felt wrong," the boy confessed, his excitement diminished a bit.

"I'm happy for you, kid," Deadpool said, shooting the adults a glare. He then turned back to Harry. "Let's get you something to eat, then some clothes. For you and me," the man said, putting his hand on Harry's shoulder and steering him to the front door. He slipped on some shoes that he got from… somewhere. He flipped up his hood and opened the door.

"Don't wait up," he called behind him. "I'll just get you up anyway," he added, laughing at their stricken expressions. He knew they were trying to think of ways to escape, and truthfully, if they managed, he wasn't going to stop them. They were really small potatoes in the realm of things.

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Harry and Wade ate at the same diner, and went shopping for clothes, it was really uneventful, accept when Deadpool tried on a shirt and was seen without his hood. The store clerk nearly had a heart attack. He explained it away as having been in a fire, and she was kind enough to give them an employee's discount.

"Always play the pity card, if you can," he imparted to Harry as they made their way out of the store. "Especially to the girls." He nodded as if that was sage advice.

Harry looked at him weird, but he nodded along and filed it away until he was older.

They went back to the Dursleys and noted that the relatives weren't in. Wade didn't know if they did a runner or were just taking a day. He didn't care. They put their stuff away and Deadpool took Harry into the backyard.

"Okay," he said, pulling something, that was squawking, from behind his back and putting it on the ground, "you're going to catch this chicken," he finished, looking the boy up and down and noticed that the kid had grown a bit overnight. Not much but a few inches and quite a bit of weight. He then realized that perhaps he should have waited to buy the kid clothes, because he was going to get bigger still.

"Chase a chicken?" the confused boy asked, looking at the bird that was pecking the ground in front of it. "Why?" he asked, moving towards the bird. He did feel stronger this morning, and after having breakfast, he felt like he could run around the world. There was just so much energy to burn.

"Have you ever tried to catch one of these monsters?" the aghast Wade asked, pulling down his hoodie and pointing at the bird. "They are wily," he whispered as if it were a great secret.

"Okay," the doubtful Harry said, moving still closer to the bird, who looked up sensing the danger. He lunged for it, and the bird moved, fast. It swerved and fluttered all over the yard, making quite a racket. Harry gave chase and was trying his best to catch the chicken without hurting it.

"Come on, Harry, you've got this. I believe in you," Deadpool said, then looked to the right and said, "He's never going to get that bird." He looked back and clapped at a near miss. Then he sat in a chair that was by the back door, and he ate popcorn that came from… somewhere. "You got this," he called again, cheering the clearly frustrated Harry along.

"Why am I chasing a chicken?" Harry asked, once more missing the bird and landing facedown on the grass.

"You have to train your body to be more flexible. You don't need weight training. The serum will take care of that, but you have to adapt to the difference in your body. You are taller and stronger today, I'm sure you noticed. You need to work out the best way to move your body. Chasing a chicken will limber you up," Deadpool explained as if it was obvious.

"I don't get it, but I trust you," Harry said, once more chasing the wily chicken around the yard.

"That'll be a first," the masked man mumbled.

After twenty minutes of chasing, Harry finally caught the chicken. He wasn't even winded, just dirty. "Now what?" he asked, putting the bird back on the ground. He didn't want to hurt it.

"Now you go upstairs and study your books. I've got to do something," Wade said, getting up from the chair and making the popcorn and chicken disappear.

"Are you a wizard?" Harry asked, looking behind his new friend as if to see where he was stashing things.

"No, why?" Deadpool asked, tilting his head in confusion.

"Where do you put all that stuff?" Harry asked, not finding anything.

"What stuff?" the still confused man asked, though he did look to the right and wink.

"You know what, never mind," the boy said, giving up on understanding the man. "I'll go read. Maybe I can find a name for my owl." He then went into the house to do just that.

Deadpool waited until he could hear the boy go to his room, then he too went into the house. Quiet as a mouse, he snuck into all the downstairs rooms, including the one under the stairs. There was an office on the bottom floor, so he went in there to see what he could find.

The place looked like it had already been ransacked. There were folders strewn about, and papers everywhere. Wade didn't know if Vernon was just lazy, or if he was looking for something before he left today. That was alright, Deadpool would look through it all and find Harry's stuff.

It took a while, but he came up with Harry's birth certificate, his school records, shot records, and other such things. He also found the statements that proved that Vernon was getting paid by both Harry's bank and the government. That would come in handy.

He tucked it all away…somewhere. He then looked to see if there was a bank account number hanging around and hit the jackpot with a little black book. Why Dursley hadn't taken it with him, Wade didn't know, or care. He was going to bleed that account dry. There wasn't much in it, but it was what was owed Harry, well, almost enough.

He went to the bottom of the stairs, and yelled up, "Harry, are you finished studying yet?" he was an impatient man.

"Yes," the over-exuberant boy said, coming out of his room. "I found a name for my owl. I'm going to call her Hedwig," he said as he bounced down the stairs.

"What a strange name," Deadpool said, putting his hand on Harry's shoulder and guiding him to the kitchen. The boy must be starved, he knew he was.

"Says the man called Deadpool. It's after a goddess," Harry defended his choice. "It was in my history of magic book." He followed Deadpool into the kitchen and when the man started pulling food out, he went to help.

"Oh, well that explains it then," Deadpool said, putting lunchmeat on the counter and watched Harry get the rest.

"What are we going to do after lunch?" Harry wanted to know.

"Run," the man said, taking some bread to make his own sandwich. "Eat as much as you want," he added to the still slim child. He may have filled out, but he was still scrawny. Deadpool figured that it would take weeks to see the full effects.

"Where are the Dursleys?" Harry asked, taking a plate of ham and cheese sandwiches to the table. Deadpool followed with his own plate of cheese and peanut butter ones.

"Don't know, don't care," the man answered, then asked, "Why an owl?"

"Hagrid says they deliver the post," the boy said, scrunching his nose at Wade's choice of fillings.

"Post? As in mail?"

"Yeah."

Silence fell and the two ate their meals. They then went for a run, as far as Harry could, which Wade carried him back. They then ate a huge meal of leftovers from the refrigerator.

So, the week went, Deadpool would make up some strange exercise, while Harry floundered along, until he got it right. They would study, eat, run, eat, sleep, then do it all again the next day.

It was a week later that Vernon showed up. His face purple, which Harry knew meant the man was mad.

"Oh no," Harry said, when he saw his uncle.

"Pfft," Deadpool said, slamming the door in the man's face and locking the door. "That'll teach him," he said as he walked away. They were going to turn into the living room when the shot rang out.