Chapter 14: No Killing, Again?

They made it to the DADA classroom without incident and took seats in the back. Well, Luna and Harry did, Wade stood at the back on the wall, right behind Harry. He wasn't there to learn, only to protect the boy and train him. He leaned back, arms folded and one foot on the wall. It was a relaxed, but ready pose.

The class filled up with Slytherins and Ravenclaws. Most of the kids looked at the costumed man strangely. He was still an anomaly. Most didn't know what to think of him, but knew he was dangerous. The first night there had proved that, and the guy gave off 'don't fuck with me' vibes. Yet, he said and did silly things, like a jokester.

When the class had settled, Professor Quirrell stood. He had been sitting at his desk, looking at Deadpool. He was scared of the kid, for he had threatened Snape without thought. His passenger was even leery of the boy. Voldy felt that he was superior, since the kid had no magic, but there was just something that said, 'Stay away,' that made them both cautious.

Quirrell started class, his stutter worse than normal with the costumed kid glaring at him. He turned and started writing on the chalkboard, and his passenger tried to perform Legilimency on the kid. That was a terrible mistake on his part. The boy's mind was a jumble of thoughts and memories. There was nothing cohesive about him.

There were scenes of torture that even he would never do. There was a woman who the man loved with all his heart. But even these memories were jumbled and confusing. There were no clear, serious thoughts to be had. The man, for Voldy now knew that it was a man, was nothing but a big bundle of crazy. He had never been in a mind such as this. He pulled out when the man in the memories looked right at him and said, "Die, motherfucker," and started towards him.

For his troubles he got a blinding headache, which made him groan in pain. This was his second mistake. He couldn't even think clearly and had no clue what was going on around him.

Wade felt the mind tap and was already making his way to the front. Not even Xavier went into his mind. He tried once and was knocked out for hours. He warned Deadpool to never let anyone into his mind, and the costumed man took him at his word. Now, he was going to have to deal with this interloper.

Harry, seeing that Deadpool was piss, started getting the kids out of the classroom.

"Come on," he hissed to Luna.

"Get this side, I'll get the other," she whispered back and started tapping people on the shoulder and pointing to the door.

"Good idea," Wade said, stopping long enough for the kids to vacate the room. He didn't want to have to give them a bunch of nightmares, and nothing was going to stop him this time. He felt violated.

Quirrell was oblivious to it all. he was just concentrating on writing. Voldemort was too busy being in pain.

Deadpool heard the groan and knew it hadn't come from the teacher. He started waving the students to run. He waited until he heard the door close and knew Harry had stayed behind.

"Luna is being our lookout. By the way, you can kill this one," Harry said, knowing that Deadpool would not be upset without reason.

"And you are back to being my best bud," Deadpool said, reaching out and snatching the turban off the head of the teacher, who had yet to turn around. Even when Harry said he could be killed. He was just to scared to do anything but stand there. "Woah, ugly," Wade said, seeing the noseless man on the back of Quirrell's head.

"Quirinus, do something," the pained Dark Lord ordered, not sure what was happening, but he knew he was in danger. The blinding pain was receding, and he could start to think coherently.

"Yes, master," the possessed man intoned, but fear kept him in place. He reached for his wand but was unable to move otherwise.

"You fool, he is going to kill you," Voldy shrieked, trying to take over the body of the obviously coward of a man.

Wade poked the face with his finger and tried to tweak the nose that wasn't there. He laughed at the face's grimace and poked him again. "You're one ugly motherfucker," he said to the face.

"You dare, muggle," hissed Voldemort, "I will kill you, you magicless son of a whore," he added, though he was useless to do anything. He once again tried to take control of the body, but couldn't, it was too scared and he yelled at Quirrell, "If you don't move, I'll leave you to your fate."

Quirrell started to turn, but Deadpool put a sword to his back. "No moving, asshole."

"I will kill you," Voldy said again, looking at the costumed man with menace.

"Bravado, I like that," Deadpool said, poking the face again, this time in the forehead. "Harry is that normal?" he asked his again best bud. Luna was now his best girl bud.

"I keep telling you I just got here, but I think I can safely say, no, that is not normal. I think that's old Moldyshorts," he added, looking at the being that was attached to his professor.

"Well, noseless here tried to read my mind. Pity it didn't hurt him more," Wade said, then got an idea. "Hey, Harry, come here and test your strength on this guy." Maybe if they punched the guy enough the spirit would leave him.

Harry walked up to the two and looked at Voldy. "Wade is right, you are one ugly motherfucker," he said, and he too poked the face. Only this time both Quirrell and Voldemort screamed in agony.

"Woah," Deadpool said, looking at Harry's finger like it would sit up and do tricks. "Do that again," he said, jumping up and down in place, like a kid getting a puppy.

Harry shrugged and did it again. They both screamed again and this time there was a burn mark on the head of Quirrell. While it did something to Voldy, it didn't physically touch him. "I wonder what would happen if I slapped him," he mused, and then did just that.

The screaming started again and this time Voldy vacated the body. "I will be back, and I will kill you both," he yelled as he flew away.

"That sucks, nothing is staying around for me to kill," Deadpool said, sulking like he just got his birthday taken away. "You're a bitch, Fairywm," he said, glaring to the right. She shrugged.

"I guess," Harry said, then poked the back of Quirrell's head. Nothing. "This guy might be innocent," he said, taking more air out of Wade's balloon.

"I hate you again," Deadpool said, then he turned and stormed out of the classroom.

"You'd better get to the hospital wing," Harry said with not a shred of sympathy. Even if the guy was innocent, he didn't do anything to stop the Dork Lord from coming to Hogwarts. He then followed Wade. He knew that the costumed man didn't hate him. He was just frustrated.

"He didn't get to kill anyone, right?" Luna said, looking down the Hall Wade had just disappeared down.

"Nope, and he's pretty upset about that. Hey, Luna, how do we keep the basilisk from killing us with its eyes?" he asked, not sure what to do about that.

"Don't look at it, silly," she said with a giggle.

"Of course, how foolish of me," he chuckled back. He knew it wouldn't be that simple, but he was sure Deadpool would come up with something epic. At least he hoped so, he'd hate to die his first week here.

They caught up to Deadpool who was glaring out a window.

"Don't fuss so, Wade, you can kill the basilisk," Luna said, giving him a hug.

"I know, but I was sooo looking forward to it," he said, with a pout.

"I'm sure you will have other chances," Harry said, patting the chibi man's back.

"You're just trying to cheer me up," Deadpool accused them, pointing his fingers at each of them.

"Yup," they said together, and giggled.

"There you are," a voice said behind them.

"Yes, here we are," Wade said, looking over Harry's shoulder and seeing Flitwick. "Did you need something killed?" he asked, hopefully.

"What? No," the little man said, shocked at the question. 'Then again,' he mused, 'I shouldn't be. This kid gives off all sorts of killing intent.' "No," he said again, "The headmaster wants to speak to you three." He waved them to follow him.

"Maybe the old guy wants something killed," Deadpool said, bouncing at the thought.

"I highly doubt it," Flitwick said, giving him an apologetic look. He knew blood lust; it was in his blood. He'd never seen it outside the goblin horde, but he recognized it alright. "I'm sure there are things to kill in the forest," he offered, not knowing they had already planned nightly excursions there anyway.

"That's right," Wade said, brightening up at that thought. He'd forgotten about the spiders.

"Later for that, now you must see the headmaster," the Charms professor said, still leading the way.

"Do you want to bail?" Harry asked Wade as they followed the diminutive man.

"Nah, let's see what the old guy wants," the chibi man said, taking out a knife from… somewhere, and throwing it up, catching it by the tip and throwing it up again.

"You have to teach me that," Harry said, watching his friend. Deadpool was just so cool about everything. He had never seen the man rattled. Mad, yes, but rattled, no. He took everything as normal. Or turned it normal for him with his crazy.

Yes, Harry knew Wade was crazy. But he was just so cool.

"Oh, me too," Luna said, clapping her hands and bouncing as she walked.

"Sure, it's easy to do," Wade said as they continued down the hall. As they proceeded, he walked them through how to toss and catch a knife. They listened with rap attention.

Soon enough, they were at the gargoyles that blocked the headmaster's office.

"Cockroach clusters," Flitwick said, not even thinking it was a strange password. It was always candy.

"Oh, those sound yummy," Wade said, thinking of the mass number of cockroaches in New York. If they actually ate them here, he could make a killing. His brain went into overdrive with how he could catch and sell them, that he didn't notice the revolving staircase. He then thought that London might already have as many as New York and deflated again.

At the top of the stairs was a door, Flitwick knocked on it and entered when he heard his name. Something else that didn't faze him.

"Ah there you are," Dumbledore said after they all filed in.

"Yes, again, here we are. We weren't lost you know," Deadpool said, then he noticed the candy dish on the desk. "Candy!" he said, and upended the whole thing into his mouth, making everyone blink at him.

"You wanted us, Headmaster," Harry said, inside laughing at Wade's antics.

"Ah, yes," the old man said, tearing his eyes away from the boy in the mask. He had wondered how he had eaten through the mask. "It has come to my attention that you dismissed the DADA class before the lesson was over. Pray tell, why?" he asked, folding his hands on the desk, while Flitwick took a seat near the same desk. The kids stayed standing.

"Voldemort was sticking on the back of Professor Quirrell's head," Harry said with a shrug, like it was completely normal for that to happen. "We made him leave," he pointed to him and Deadpool, who was nodding along, his mouth too full to speak.

"I see," was all Albus said, thinking hard on that. He had not known the Dark Lord was here in the castle. "And Quirinus?" he asked Harry, seeing that Wade couldn't speak yet. He wondered if he should read the boy's mind. He took a peek and was blinded with a headache. He didn't get far, only the surface memories, but that was enough.

"He's fine," Harry said, smirking at the old man's pain. "I sent him to the hospital wing," he added, making sure to let them know the guy was alive and walking when he left.

"Don't do that again," Wade said, swallowing the whole bunch of candy, and taking his knife, that he had yet to put away, and pointing it at the headmaster. "I don't like people poking around in my head." His eyes were glaring, but with the mask, no one saw it. They felt it though. The very air crackled around the costumed chibi.

"I apologize," the old man said through is pain. "Why is your mind so… cracked, is the only term I can think of?" he asked, wondering if it could be taught.

"I was tortured to death," was the answer.

"I beg your pardon, to death?" Flitwick asked, having caught that part.

"Yeah, twice," Deadpool said, nonchalantly. To him it wasn't a big deal. He had killed the man who had done it, so all right was in his world.

"Twice?!" came the disbelieving question from the adults, bar Wade.

"Yessss, twice," Wade drawled, as if offended that they had asked. He wasn't lying after all.

"I see," Albus said again, at a lost as to how a muggle could have died twice.

"Can we go? There's got to be something to kill around here," Deadpool said, turning to leave. He was done talking.

"Yes, you may. Though, I do ask that you not kill anyone," the headmaster said, with a firm voice.

"Yeah, sure, no one," Wade promised, animals weren't a someone. "No promises if they attack me or mine," he added as an afterthought.

"Very well," Albus said, knowing that was the best he was going to get, and waving them away. He didn't believe the child was serious. Children were so fun with their games.

"Twice?" Luna asked after they cleared the office and hallway it was attached to.

"It cured my cancer," Wade said, once more not caring that it shocked people.

"Well, there is that," Harry said, already knowing all this.

Luna hummed a bit, and then nodded. That was a good outcome to a bad situation.

"Let's go kill the basilisk," Deadpool said, already heading to the seventh floor.