7

Chapter 7: The Meanie-Heads

Thanks for all the reviews. They are very much appreciated. This one is a bit short.

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"Sirius Orion Black," Lily shouted, her hands on her hips. She flew forward and smacked him upside the head. "You'd better clean up your mouth before I clean it for you," she snapped at him, leaning into his face.

"Shite," Sirius said, then clamped his hands over his mouth. He knew he was in more trouble for saying that too. His eyes were wide with apology.

Lily huffed and floated back. She knew it was going to take time for him to learn not to cuss around her son, but dammit, couldn't he do it in his head like she did?

"Mummy?" Harry asked, thinking he might know what Padfoot had done wrong. "Is it a bad word?" he asked, knowing that sometimes grownups said bad words. Uncle Vernon did it all the time, and those were the only times Aunt Petunia yelled at him. Just like Mummy did to Padfoot. But Uncle Vernon never said that word, so it must be really bad.

"Yes, baby, it's a very, very bad word," Lily said, turning and looking at her little boy with soft eyes. She didn't like getting angry around Harry. He had enough of that with Petunia. Still… Sirius was going to have to watch his mouth.

"I won't say it until I'm grown," he said solemnly, with a nod of his head, his eyes serious.

Moony was laughing his arse off but trying to hide it. He had turned his back to Harry, and it was shaking so bad from his repressed laughter. He really was trying not to, but Sirius was digging himself in deeper and Harry's innocence was just too much.

"Mummy would prefer if you never said it at all," Lily said, but she shrugged. She knew that it was a tall order. She knew teens cussed just because they thought it made them grown. That and it was a strong way to express oneself.

"Okay, Mummy," Harry promised, wanting his mummy to hug him. He held up his arms to express this. "I promise, forever and ever," he said.

She did hug him. "You were very brave today, so we'll go to Diagon Alley tonight," she said, thinking that Sirius could take him to the Leaky Cauldron to eat. They had some simple meals that Harry might like. That and they had better food then they did here. Cheaper too. Room service was a pretty penny and while they could afford it, that didn't mean they should use it all the time.

"Yay," Harry said. He liked going to Diagon Alley. "Can we get a storybook?" he asked, looking this time at Sirius. "Like the ones you told me about," he added, his mind already filled with visions of dragons and fairies.

"Sure, kiddo. Moony, are you coming with us?" Sirius asked, looking at his still laughing friend. He frowned at his friend's back.

Remus finally lost control over his laughter and fell off his chair howling like the wolf he was. "What does it mean?" he said, laughing like a loon. He clutched his sides from the pain he suffered from repressing the laughter.

"Laugh it up, furball," Sirius said, folding his arms in a grumpy manner. He nudged his friend in the ribs with his foot. He wanted to kick the laughing man, but Harry was watching. "Come on, it wasn't that funny," he whinged. Though, he knew if it were reversed, he'd be laughing his arse off too.

"I'm sorry, sorry," Remus said, still snorting but pulling himself together. He got off the floor and sat on the chair by the door, where he had been before. "We're going out to dinner?" he asked, straightening his shirt.

"Just to the Leaky," Sirius said, not wanting to take Harry anywhere swanky. The poor boy wouldn't know how to act somewhere with more than one fork. Heck, he didn't think he remembered how to either. Damn Azkaban.

"Okay. After that I'll go and get my stuff from where I'm holed up. I don't have much because I haven't had a flat in a while. I only just got the job your lawyer found me at," he said, sitting up straighter. "I can stay here, right?" he asked, wanting to make sure he got that right.

"Yes," Lily and Sirius said together, Padfoot looking at him as if he were particularly stupid.

"Like I said, I'll need your help," Lily stated as if the man was forgetful.

"Okay, after dinner, I'll grab my stuff," the werewolf said.

"Yay," Harry said, putting his arms in the air. "Uncle Remus gets to live with us." He was just happy that he had one more big person that would keep his Uncle Vernon away from him. His mummy liked the man and so did Padfoot, so he must be okay.

"There are only two rooms, so you'll get the couch," Sirius said, pointing down to the sofa he was sitting on. "It's pretty springy," he added, bouncing up and down in a sitting position as if to prove his point.

"I've had worse, I'm sure," the werewolf said, giving his friend a grin. "Where I'm staying now only has a recliner chair to sleep in," he added as an example.

"Yeah, you're staying here," Lily said, shooing Harry to go and play. "We need to find somewhere else to stay. I don't know if Pet is going to make bail, what with Vernon in jail too. I don't know what they've charged her with," she said in way of an explanation.

"We'll ask Alex tomorrow. Remus, do you have any ID? If you do, we'll give it to the girl at the front desk and let her know you're staying with us," Sirius said, then he had a thought. "You'll be my wife's brother. Our cover story is that my wife kicked us out. You can vouch for that, and say that you are here, from out of town, to support us," he said, his brow furrowed, like he was trying to get the story right in his head.

"Yes, I have to have ID to work. And that sounds doable," Remus said, looking to Lily to see what she thought.

"I like it. You guys work out the details. I'm going to go and spend some time with Harry," Lily said, then went to play with her son.

"It is scary to see her here like this," Remus said, then rethought that sentence. "Not scary, per se, more like spooky weird," he reiterated. "I have had a picture in my head of her dead for years. Now seeing her, it's just…" he trailed off not sure how to express what he was feeling. That and the fact that James wasn't here. He had known them both the same amount of time, but James was his best friend.

"I didn't want to believe it, not at first, but she's not a regular ghost. I believe that our Lily is in the afterlife with James, and this Lily is somehow a manifestation of the protection spell that our Lily cast on Harry. St. Mungo's said pretty much the same," Sirius said as they both watch mother and child build with Legos.

"That makes sense. Does she remember everything from before?" Remus asked, thinking that this was their Lily and Sirius was being a romantic. Sirius always was the more sentimental out of all of them. Even James. James was only sentimental where Lily was concerned, and Harry once he was born.

"Yeah," Sirius said, then scrunched his forehead like he was thinking of something he didn't want to think of.

"Well, whatever she is, I'm glad for Harry's sake," the werewolf said, then turned to his friend. "Tell me more about this wife," he said, getting them back on track. He'd let Sirius have his fantasy. The man had been through hell. If he wanted to think that James had his wife in the afterlife, well he, Remus, wasn't going to dissuade him.

They talked about the made-up wife for a half an hour and then decided that it was time to go and eat. Lily went back in Harry's head, and the three males went to the Leaky Cauldron, where Harry ordered the fish and chips. Sirius had the shepherd's pie. Remus decided on steak and potatoes. Lily came out and sat with them, making everyone there start talking. They ignored it.

The floo flashed off to the side of their table, and Lily got a feeling that she needed to hide. So, she went back into Harry's head. "Don't tell anyone I'm here, okay, baby?" she said to Harry.

Harry just nodded and looked around with wide eyes to see what had made his mummy hide. They must not be nice people.

"Sirius, my boy," came the voice of the man they didn't want to see just yet. "Whatever are you doing here, and with Harry Potter?" the headmaster asked, taking a seat without asking. He nodded to Remus, but he kept his focus on Sirius.

"Headmaster," Remus mumbled, not sure how this was going to play out. Lily obviously didn't want to be known to the old man just yet. He gave Sirius a knowing look, then smiled at Harry.

"What does it look like? We're eating dinner," Sirius said, tapping his glass with a fingernail in agitation. He was still pissed at this man for leaving him in prison for so long. Now that Lily had pointed it out to him, he laid the blame where it belonged, and part of that blame landed on this man's lap.

"I would like to know why you have Harry with you," the old man said as if it was his right to know.

"He is my godson," Sirius said, looking at Albus Dumbledore as if he were asking questions in a foreign language. "Where else would he be?" he asked with a smile to Harry. Harry smiled back and did a child's wink, which means both eyes closed, and his face screwed up. Sirius just laughed and reached over and tussled his hair.

Meanwhile Lily was telling Harry to not look at the old man. He might try to read Harry's mind, so Harry needed to keep his eyes on Sirius or Remus. If he did look at the old man, he needed to look at his nose.

Harry was worried that if the man saw into his brain, he'd see his mummy and make him go back to his Aunt Petunia. But his mummy was telling him to remain calm and everything will be alright. She wouldn't let anything like that happen. Padfoot, Uncle Remus, and Mummy would stop the man from making Harry do anything.

"He is supposed to be with his aunt," Albus said with a jovial tone.

"His aunt, and uncle, before you ask, was arrested for child abuse," the dogman said just as jovially. "I called the lawyer myself," he said like he had done something brilliant.

"Whyever would you do such a thing?" Dumbledore said, his mouth frowning, which was hard to see through his massively long beard and mustache, but they could hear it in his tone.

"Because she's a child abuser?" Remus said with a drawn-out questioning tone. It was obvious from the context of the conversation that the woman was a child abuser.

"I am sure it is all a misunderstanding," Albus said with what sounded like forced cheer. He had had reports that the woman was heavy-handed with Harry, but abusive? That was not something he heard. Was Arabella blind, or were they just too old to see? Why in his day a smack on the bottom was expected. Not to mention a whipping with a belt or switch.

"No," Sirius drawled. "I found Harry stuffed in a cupboard and half-starved," he stated giving Harry an encouraging smile. "Harry, do you want to go back to your Aunt Petunia's?" he asked the boy. He could see that his godson was keeping his eyes firmly on his face. 'Lily must be coaching him,' he thought.

"No, why would I? She's a meanie-head," Harry said, looking at the old man like he too was a meanie-head. "My mummy doesn't like you," he said, sticking out his tongue. He screwed his eyes shut and looked away.

"Come now, Harry, my boy," the old man said, trying to get the child to look at him. He had no idea why the boy was talking about his mum in present tense, but children often had invisible friends. Perhaps the child made his, his mummy. It would not be out of the realm of possibility.

"I not your boy," Harry said, sticking his tongue out again, keeping his eyes shut. He wasn't going to let this man see his brain.

"Sirius do you know about the lawsuits that were filed against me?" Albus asked, giving up on trying to make them see reason for now. If Petunia was indeed in jail, then there was little he could do about it tonight. He'd have to see what he could do in the morning. However, Sirius did mention a lawyer, that would complicate things. Law offices had ways of preventing Obliviations. It was well known that they could prevent them and if you were found to have tried, then you were sued. He dared not risk it.

"Yes, I know all about it. You kidnapped Harry the night his parents died. You sealed their wills, before I was incarcerated, I might add, and you were not the executor. I am. You abandoned him to his relatives, on the doorstep, mind you, without a stipend set up for his care. And finally, you allowed those books to be published without the consent of his guardian, which is me," Sirius said, ticking them off on his fingers, his grin never fading.

"There is a reasonable explanation for all that I did," Albus said as he ran his hand down his beard. His eyes were darting back and forth, noting everyone listening. Sirius hadn't bothered being quiet. His reputation was going to take a hit. He hadn't bothered with a silencing charm because he thought he'd be taking Sirius to task, not the other way around.

"Which you can tell the court. I will be filling my own lawsuit, for false imprisonment. So, you can expect to be served again," Sirius said, his voice and eyes finally turning hard. "I would love to hear your explanation on that one," he growled, this time he sat forward like he was about to get aggressive. "Harry's lawsuits make me wonder if mine is related," he said as if it was the first time he made the connection, which it was. His eyes and face turned cold and hard. If Harry hadn't been there, he would have gotten violent.

"Albus, leave," Remus said, a growl in his throat. "We are eating dinner and you are interrupting. Here comes our food now," he stated as a waitress came with their plates. She looked a little hesitant to come to their table. He waved her forward with a smile.

"Yeah, leave us alone, you mean old man," Harry yelled, kicking his foot out and hitting the headmaster's knee. It didn't hurt, Harry was too far away, and he was sitting on a booster.

"Here now, there is no need for violence," the old man said, scooting his chair back and standing. "I will leave you to your dinner," he said, making as dignified as an escape as he could.

Some of the patrons laughed at the scene, while others thought that Harry should be scolded.

Once the old man left, Lily came back out and sat where the old man had. She was giving the room a glare, and everyone went about their business.

"Why didn't you show yourself?" Sirius asked as he dug into his meal. Not that he minded taking Albus down a peg or two, but she would have been a sight to see.

"I want to lay into him later. When there are more people around," she explained, leaning forward so only their table would hear. Louder she said, "I didn't want him to exorcise me," sounding like she was scared of Dumbledore. She was not. She had the feeling that exorcism didn't work on her. She wasn't a ghost, or an evil spirit.

"Mummy, what does exorcise mean?" Harry asked as he shoved a chip in his mouth.

"It means make ghosts go away. But don't worry, no one is going to make mummy go anywhere. Not for a long time," she said, smiling at him with a soft look on her face. He had been such a good boy. She had been so proud of him, even if she did have to chastise him for calling the old man a meanie-head. She had laughed, so it was hard to call him out for that while she was laughing.

"Othay, Mummy," he said, his mouth full of food. He was hungry and he knew it was the potions that he had to take. He would have to have some after his meal. He knew Padfoot kept his vial in his pocket, so when he had afters, he had to drink the yucky stuff.

"Swallow first," she said with some exasperation. She had a feeling that that was a sentence she was going to be saying a lot.

"Harry, what do you want to do next?" Remus asked, not sure when the boy's bedtime was. He knew it was getting late for children to be out, but it was early for adults.

"I want to get a storybook, so Mummy can read me a story," Harry said, after he swallowed like his mummy told him. "Padfoot says they have dragons and fairies and all sorts of things," he said, bouncing in his lifted seat.

"Harry, stop before you fall," Lily said, reaching out a hand and stilling her child. "We'll stop at Flourish and Blotts when you're done. If you are a good boy and eat your veggies, you can have dessert," she said, thinking a small tart of some sort.

"Ice cream?" he asked, not caring that he had had some earlier that day. Ice cream was the bestest in the whole world. If his mummy let him, he'd eat it all day long. And it had so many flavors.

"No, something else," she said, running a hand down his face.

"Okay," Harry said with a small pout.

Sirius and Remus watched this while they ate. It was good to see that Harry had a good relationship with Lily. It was something they never thought they'd see. The rest of the meal was spent talking about the day and what the plans were for tomorrow, which wasn't much. They were all up in the air until they knew what was going on with the lawsuits.

Sirius paid when they were finished, and they went to the bookstore and got The Tales of Beedle the Bard for Harry. They got back to the hotel and got Harry to bed with a new story to put him to sleep.

Remus went and got his stuff and was back with one backpack within an hour. The adults just talked about tentative plans that they really couldn't put into action. Soon enough those that could were asleep.

Lily decided to go and see what was going on in Diagon Alley since it was nearby. There were still people milling about the Leaky Cauldron and some of the other establishments that served until late in the evening. She wandered down Knockturn Alley, it wasn't like anything could hurt her, and she ran into someone she hadn't talked to in years.

"Hello, Severus," she said, looking into those black eyes of the man she had come to despise.

Severus Snape did the only thing he could do in this situation. He fainted.