How to write a diary in hell

Wow you actually decided to take a look at this note. Man you must be board. Well that's ok because I am here to impart you with a valuable piece of information. If you refer to the easy to figure out title this whole story is about how to write a diary in hell. Sounds easy right. Well let me tell you something buster it ain't. Writing a diary in hell is not only as much of a headache as writing a diary normally is but on top of that having someone read your diaries secrets is even more of a killer here. Literally. Who would have guessed that your life, or unlife, would be tied into a daily log you write for fun. Or maybe not so much for fun but because you have to. And for that matter who decided that writing a diary in hell was a good idea. Well let me explain that as well.

So for the first step it's the easy part. You just got to end up in hell. How you do this is entirely up to you, but if I may make a suggestion I would avoid the perishing bit and just summon a portal. It makes the situation a bit less permanent.

Myself I made the mistake of not being a very good person while I was still alive. One nasty car accident later, and now I'm stuck here writing this blasted diary as some form of convoluted and twisted punishment.

My first memory of hell is just like any other. A massive dose of panic and then the crushing dose of reality that this is not an accident. Nope this is where people like us belong in the pit of burning wasteland that is hell. Or so you would think. The first part is accurate but for some reason hell is relatively comfy temperature wise. A nice 70 degree temperature year long. At least I think we still have years, still can't get my head around eternity. Second the person to design hell must have been an avid fan Australian beaches. Yep you got that right hell is basically the ultimate beach resort. Doesn't sound that bad now does it. Except for the tiny fact that the designer liked Australia. Yes even the small details like how everything here wants to kill you.

While we are at it let's adress that fact. Yes you are already dead. Yes you can die again. No there is no batter place after dyeing again. There is just another hell that you get sent to. One that is worse than the hell you are currently in.

Now that you are caught up on the living situation how about we get to the meat and potatoes of the story. Why I have to write a diary in hell. When you arrive here you get a small notebook. Inside are a set of instructions that are as follows.

Hi welcome to Hell! You are here because you were a real scumbag in life. But hey everyone makes mistakes. I like to think that everyone here was sent here for a reason and that we can all agree that you will suffer for it. So to make it worse for you here are some basic rules.

1 You can die in hell. Dont test this!

2 You must write a diary of your experiences every day without fail.

3 You must never allow anyone to read your diary

4 For every 4 people diary that you read you can go back to a slightly nicer layer in hell.

5 Good luck and make friends.

P.S If someone reads your diary you just instantly die so no pressure.