Pamuf
Writing Quality [★★★★o] Story Development [★★★★★] Character Design [★★★oo] Updating Stability [★★★★★] World Background [★★★oo] » First I want to say this a good fanfic... I'm not gonna lie and just say the truth... the fanfic actually good and interesting fanfic only the perspective was pretty awful well what do you expect when the author was new author also this fanfic have potential to be honest so I'm gonna drop this. {The review will change probably}
Great chapter! The mc is such a vibe, and that second-person intro is entertaining. The only problem is the perspective. It started as second-person, suddenly switched to third-person, then became first-person. Hopefully, you fix that third-person slip(I left a paragraph comment) Other than that, the casualness may be too excessive for my taste and those parentheses need to go, but god this is entertaining!