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Andry_Reyes

Andry_Reyes

Lv1
2021-06-14 JoinedGlobal
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Writing

1.1h

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179

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4

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604
  • Andry_Reyes
    Andry_Reyes2yr
    Posted

    It was an enjoyable read. The writing isn't the best but it was enough to keep me reading. There were some phrases that could be rephrased, and some paragraphs could be split to make it reader-friendly, but all of these problems could be fixed by just continuing to write. Other than that, the premise kept me hook and I will definitely come back here for more

    altalt
    please reset the booktitle IAmGuavaFruit 20231218092329 21
    Fantasy · IAmGuavaFruit
    detail
  • Andry_Reyes
    Andry_Reyes2yr
    Commented

    Good start so far. Some paragraphs could be split into more and some better wording, but I'm enjoying it.

    Ch 1 How to Speedrun Life (And Mess up the DLC)
    altalt
    please reset the booktitle IAmGuavaFruit 20231218092329 21
    Fantasy · IAmGuavaFruit
    detail
  • Andry_Reyes
    Andry_Reyes2yr
    Commented

    Omoshiroi

    Unfortunately for him, he was now intangible and was unable to grasp any physical object that could stop him from being sucked into the terrifying portal.
    altalt
    please reset the booktitle IAmGuavaFruit 20231218092329 21
    Fantasy · IAmGuavaFruit
    detail
  • Andry_Reyes
    Andry_Reyes2yr
    Commented

    Dying alone is scary...

    This paragraph has been deleted.
    altalt
    please reset the booktitle IAmGuavaFruit 20231218092329 21
    Fantasy · IAmGuavaFruit
    detail
  • Andry_Reyes
    Andry_Reyes2yr
    Commented

    Great start so far, but I'd split this paragraph into 2. Readers hate wall of text

    This paragraph has been deleted.
    altalt
    Superpower Evolution
    Urban · Xiaoru
    detail
  • Andry_Reyes
    Andry_Reyes2yr
    Commented

    hmmm it's already chapter 10 huh... I swear it was shorter (in a good way of course)

    This chapter has been deleted.
    altalt
    search Unraveling Despair
    Realistic · XXXXC
    detail
  • Andry_Reyes
    Andry_Reyes2yr
    Commented

    5 chapters in and it's a good so far. The writing quality isn't perfect(although nothing is flawless) I want see an improvement with the writing quality.

    Ch 5 Chapter 5 : I Found My Answer
    altalt
    The Love of Imperatrix
    Urban · Devanshi_Rathod
    detail
  • Andry_Reyes
    Andry_Reyes2yr
    Commented

    I'm loving this so far! And uhh... try to split those long paragraphs. Wall of text isn't appealing to readers.

    Ch 5 The First Opponent
    altalt
    Sparror Volume 1
    Fantasy · JJ_Prakoso
    detail
  • Andry_Reyes
    Andry_Reyes2yr
    Commented

    Hmm... Kinda resembles the setting of Big Hero 6. The word choice is a bit iffy here tho

    This paragraph has been deleted.
    altalt
    Sparror Volume 1
    Fantasy · JJ_Prakoso
    detail
  • Andry_Reyes
    Andry_Reyes2yr
    Commented

    Character design definitely one of this novel's strong point.

    This chapter has been deleted.
    altalt
    search Unraveling Despair
    Realistic · XXXXC
    detail
  • Andry_Reyes
    Andry_Reyes2yr
    Commented

    Well, that's a questionable desire, but I wanna see what happens lol

    This chapter has been deleted.
    altalt
    search Unraveling Despair
    Realistic · XXXXC
    detail
  • Andry_Reyes
    Andry_Reyes2yr
    Replied to XXXXC

    MHHMMMM

    This chapter has been deleted.
    altalt
    search Unraveling Despair
    Realistic · XXXXC
    detail
  • Andry_Reyes
    Andry_Reyes2yr
    Commented

    hmm

    This chapter has been deleted.
    altalt
    search Unraveling Despair
    Realistic · XXXXC
    detail
  • Andry_Reyes
    Andry_Reyes2yr
    Posted

    Hmm... this is quite the read. will definitely read it till the end. The plot is intriguing enough, and so are the characters. I'm not particularly a big fan of the overly casual writing at times, and some phrases and sentences needs a rewrite. I'd like to see a deeper side to the characters and just overall improvement to the quality... basically, I'm saying I want more lol. Anyways, good read.

    altalt
    Transmigrated Inside A School Simulator Game
    LGBT+ · callmeotooosan
    detail
  • Andry_Reyes
    Andry_Reyes2yr
    Replied to Andry_Reyes

    so far*

    This chapter has been deleted.
    altalt
    Transmigrated Inside A School Simulator Game
    LGBT+ · callmeotooosan
    detail
  • Andry_Reyes
    Andry_Reyes2yr
    Commented

    one more chap and I'm about to finish... good read so fat

    This chapter has been deleted.
    altalt
    Transmigrated Inside A School Simulator Game
    LGBT+ · callmeotooosan
    detail
  • Andry_Reyes
    Andry_Reyes2yr
    Commented

    3 more chapter and I'm done reading this lol... An entertaining book so far

    Ch 7 Chapter 6: Flowers
    altalt
    Adam: The Vagabond
    Fantasy · King_Noran
    detail
  • Andry_Reyes
    Andry_Reyes2yr
    Commented

    Good start... a bit too casual with the writing in my personal opinion, and the word choice could be improved, but definitely a good read so far.

    Ch 1 You can only have 2D friends if you want to be a Mafia Boss
    altalt
    Transmigrated Inside A School Simulator Game
    LGBT+ · callmeotooosan
    detail
  • Andry_Reyes
    Andry_Reyes2yr
    Replied to callmeotooosan

    hmmm... I see. I'm still working on how to flow better, so I'll definitely consider this

    I've arrived at my haven! Now all I have to do is order the usual and sit on my throne!
    altalt
    I Wrote a Poem and Now I'm Stuck in Another World with an Idiot.
    Fantasy · Andry_Reyes
    detail
  • Andry_Reyes
    Andry_Reyes2yr
    Commented

    Well, this was quite the rollercoaster. Felt a little script-like at times, but it's a good start

    Ch 1 Chapter 1: Adam
    altalt
    Adam: The Vagabond
    Fantasy · King_Noran
    detail