1 Spin piss dick

-Saitama Prefecture-

"Quirks are such bullshit!" exclaimed one student standing in the front row of the class.

"Mr. Gojo, watch your language in class." berated the teacher who was standing in front of the class.

'This little shit can't keep his mouth shut, can he? Stupid brat with a useless quirk! Too bad I can't punish him for this, the headmaster wouldn't appreciate if his little award-winner got detention for something minor like this.' seethed the teacher on the inside, but he showed little signs of his frustration to the outside.

It was unfortunate for the teacher, but the student he just berated, one Gojo Yousuke, didn't exactly fall for his facade.

'I bet this minimum-wage government-working quirk-purist trash just insulted me and my quirk. Not my fault quirks don't follow any of laws of physics and are thusly firmly placed within the category of bullshit.' the student thought, annoyed.

It wasn't the first time in his life when a teacher taught them some seriously erroneous info. Every single lecture on quirks he had ever attended before had always kept repeating the same basic things everyone knew and had never explained any of the most basic questions when one thought of quirks.

Why do Mutant-types sometimes experience changes in their bodies after they awaken their quirks around the age of 4?

How do Transformation-types transform their bodies?

How do Emitter-types do the things they do?

'And they had the gall to say that the crap they were showing was "Quirk Theory". Hah, quirk theory my sexy left buttcheek.' thought Yousuke.

The teacher turned back to his presentation and droned on uselessly. He was saying something about a so-called 'Quirk Factor' which was supposedly what gave people quirks, but it wasn't something that could be actually found and proven as existing, instead being simply a baseless theory that was taken as truth because some well-known scientist said so. It was truly a sorry state of affairs.

With the teacher's attention off the students for the moment, one of Yousuke's classmates leaned over to him.

"You're right, this doesn't make any sense. I don't know how I didn't realize that until now." whispered mob character 1.

"Yousuke'd know, wouldn't he? He's well on his way to become a doctor. Or at least that's what most teachers says." whispered mob character 2, who was sitting in the desk to the left of Yousuke.

"Don't you know that the Headmaster talks a lot about him with every chance he's got? He says that he has high hopes for Yousuke." whispered another mob character from behind Yousuke.

Seeing how his classmates around him started chatting in hushed voiced, Yousuke couldn't help but sigh in annoyance. It wasn't that they were obviously kissing up to him, trying to upgrade their own social status because they knew he'd become a great and well-known doctor one day and were desperately trying to latch onto him, but rather the fact that this whole routine only begun after his first year in this high school.

In his first year, students and teachers alike would mock him for his weak quirk, thinking that just because of his quirk he couldn't do anything great in life. It was a good thing that his family had dispelled any kind of quirk superiority obsession since he was young, which resulted in Yousuke being largely unaffected by the institutional bullying.

And then he went and destroyed the entire school's viewpoint on him by becoming this nation-renowned genius in medicine.

It was a simple matter, really. His father always said that everyone in the Gojo family had a good head on their shoulders, though that rang extremely true for Yousuke in particular. It didn't take a whole lot of effort on his part to do anything, and with his family's financial resources, it was an easy task to become as much of an expert as a 17-year old can be in such a prolific and lucrative field. He might even daresay he was even better than some actual practitioners, and he was only held back by his lack of actual, hands-on experience.

Now, the Gojo family can't be called a family that breeds powerful quirks, like the Todoroki family. And not a family that simply hit the jackpot with 2 quirks that work very well together, like the Yaoyorozu family, whose current head and his wife have a quirk that produces graphite, respectively a quirk that can change the molecular structure of already existing objects.

No, the people of the Gojo family were often good at different kinds of businesses. Yousuke's father, the head of the family, had smartly created his own company specializing in Hero support gear, a business that was flourishing at the moment. His father, in particular, has been going around the world, scouting new and undiscovered talented individuals to work for him in his company for the last 2 decades or so.

"Now, I know it's getting close to the summer vacation," the teacher started, seemingly having finished his presentation while the narrator was busy explaining Yousuke's backstory, "but this is your last year in this institution. As such, I've prepared these printouts with different life-courses, though I know you all want to become heroes!"

The entire class cheered at the teacher's words. Everyone but Yousuke.

'All these lazy fucks think they can become heroes just by having quirks? Hah.'

Of course, Yousuke couldn't say he wasn't ever affected by this 'Hero Dream' every child has, but he grew out of it pretty quickly once he figured that he couldn't really become a hero with his quirk, unsuited for neither combat nor rescue as it was.

His quirk, Rolling Stones, allowed him to create spheres from any part of his body, at the cost of some energy. His body has adapted to that by naturally generating more energy constantly, being ready to make spheres at any given time. As a result of that, he needs less sleep than most people, being able to go on with at most 4 hours of sleep daily. That time can be further reduced by ingesting coffee and other caffeine-based products, with no noticeable impact on his health, since his body can deal with the surplus of energy.

Yousuke's actual quirk was pretty much useless, but its aftereffects were good, particularly in Yousuke's case. It made it extremely easy for him to do other things on the side, besides studying medicine. Like learning to play an instrument (or two or three...) or running a YouTube speedrunning channel with a little above a million subscribers. Usual teenager stuff.

"Alright, that's class dismissed. Enjoy your summer vacation!" said the teacher.

The students quickly gathered their belongings and rushed out of the classroom, wanting to leave the school as soon as possible since they were no longer required to remain.

Yousuke wasn't in a hurry to get out. After all, he doesn't participate in the usual social activities most of his peers do. Not having friends is also part of the reason, but it's mainly the fact that he finds such things wastes of time.

Now, on the issue of not having friends, that statement wasn't exactly true. Yousuke had a few people he enjoyed being in the company of, but those people were also similarly focusing on their own goals at the moment.

Growing up as he did, Yousuke was able to hold a conversation entertaining without it devolving into hero fanboying, so it wasn't a matter of social skills. No, the problem laid within most people, or rather, Yousuke's interest in them. As they say, interest is a fickle mistress, and that's even truer for Yousuke. It doesn't matter if Yousuke can hold a conversation if the other person is as interesting as the mold on a homeless man's cardboard house.

'I can finally start livestreaming daily again. I could try to do a live speedrun nuzlocke of that new Pokemon game, Pokemon Theta Praseodymium and Sigma Dysprosium. I heard they introduced that new NFT to Pokemon conversion feature that's been rumored for about a year now, but I think that's bullshit.' thought Yousuke as he walked to his home.

\ _-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_ /

\ |INTERMISSION| /

\-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-/

/________|--|________\

/______________________\

'Fuck! Fuck! Fuck! Shit! Fuck! Fuck! Shit! Fuck!'

That was all that was going through Yousuke's head as he was rushing through the hallway to get to the bathroom as quick as possible, clutching his family jewels with one hand.

It was a simple, irresponsible, childish, idiotic and laughable mistake that made Yousuke hurry like that, but it was still entirely his fault.

His quirk, as previously stated, allows Yousuke to create spheres from any part of his body, which also meant that he could make spheres inside of his body as well. Perhaps it was juvenile carelessness, or his own lack of control over the quirk, but Yousuke had accidentally made a sphere his own penis. Inside the urethra to be specific.

Busting inside the bathroom, the teen quickly closed the door behind him, unzipped his pants and took ahold of his little john, aiming at the toilet.

At any other time, he might've taken a moment to appreciate his wiener, to look at it's impressive length and girth, but as it stood now, he had more important things to do.

Taking great care to not rouse his member, Yousuke began to think of everything he could to make himself pee. Waterfalls, rain, the sound of waves crashing onto a beach, even a toilet flushing.

It wasn't all for naught, as Yousuke could feel the need to pee build inside him. Holding his junk with both hands for extra safety, the teen took a deep breath to relax. With his mind set, he let go of the metaphorical dam holding back the torrent of pee, letting the yellow liquid assault and displace the sphere stuck in his urethra.

A fact that might not be common knowledge regarding the male excretory system would be that the inside of the urethra, the canal the pee goes out through, is rifled, similarly to most guns. The rifling in the urethra is entirely of the purpose of making the pee come out in a spinning motion, so that it doesn't simply splash everywhere as it comes out.

This evolutionary trait seems completely useless for the most part, and, unless the body decided it'd be inconvenient for itself if it's splashed with pee every so often, very unlikely to appear naturally. In fact, this particular trait of the human body for one reason and one reason only: to replicate the Golden rectangle, a very simple polygon who presents a special form of self-similarity. All rectangles created by adding or removing a square from an end are golden rectangles as well.

Nature seems to attempt to replicate this phenomenon everywhere it can, but since incorporating a plane figure in a 3D body would be inconvenient, the human body settled for an easier goal: to replicate the Golden spiral.

The Golden spiral is a logarithmic spiral that has its growth factor equal with 1.618, the golden ratio. That is, a golden spiral gets wider by a factor of 1.618 for every quarter turn it makes. Much like the Golden rectangle, it is also self-similar.

As such, anything that goes out the urethra would be moving forward, while also spinning in a Golden spiral. Which is precisely what happened to the little sphere stuck in there.

The small sphere shot out of Yousuke's dick faster than a bullet, and at such a high velocity, it completely and utterly destroyed the toilet bowl. The impact didn't push Yousuke back as much as the shock made him take a step backwards, tripping over the edge of the bathtub.

It was in that position, laying down in the bathtub with his dick proudly in air, as if denouncing its presence, with the toilet bowl still smoking from the earlier proceedings, that the Gojo family maid found him.