Chapter 27 - A 'Convincing' Deal I

"Been a while, Severus—you mind having a chat?"

"You…" Severus sneered, slamming the door or trying to.

Sirius was faster and wedged his leather-clad foot firmly in the door's path. "No need to turn bashful all of a sudden," he taunted, his voice dripping with disdain.

"You never seemed to mind groveling at Lucius Malfoy's feet or carrying out the Dark Lord's bidding. So why the sudden bout of shyness?"

Severus Snape drew his wand with a swift, practiced motion, his dark eyes piercing the shadows. "What do you want, Sirius?"

"Really now? After watching me kill your fellow Death Eaters right before your very eyes, and surviving the Killing Curse, you reckon you stand a chance against me?" Sirius pushed the door open, unafraid of anything.

Bang!

Sirius wasn't very gentle with it and stormed inside, making Severus step back further and further into his own house, like a cornered prey. He looked around at the condition of the house, and it looked nothing but rundown and neglected. The floor had much dirt on it, the furniture was broken, and bruised, and all the walls lacked portraits, or even wallpaper, so to speak.

"You truly live up to the name we teased you with," Sirius remarked, casting a glance back at Severus. "Tell me, is being Slytherin synonymous with embracing evil? My parents, my cousins, my distant families—how in Merlin's beard do you all manage to veer toward evil?"

Feeling suffocated, Sirius pulled his tie a little to loosen it. He then went over to a chair near the dining table, dragged it, and sat down. But then he noticed Severus' hand moving secretly. "You'd be doing me a favor by calling them."

Severus finally stopped and tried to talk seriously, "You left me no choice but to join them."

"What did we do?" Sirius asked him earnestly. "It was just childhood banter."

"Banter?" Severus sneered. "You haven't changed one bit. Arrogant, rich, spoiled, opinionated brat then… the same now."

"And who might you be? A noble with the serenity of a Vela, perhaps? You've been poking your nose into our affairs since day one. Trying to spy on us, snitch on us, stirring up trouble at every turn."

"You started it!" Snape barked, his voice cutting through the air like a whip.

"It was that blasted train. I had no interest in you or James. Yet you two chose to speak when not spoken to. You chose to antagonize me—you chose to trip me—you chose to call me Snivellus on the very first day of Hogwarts."

Sirius still didn't take Severus' words seriously, scoffing. "Yet you proved us right. Look what becoming a Slytherin has gotten you."

"Nothing but misery throughout my life," Severus Snape drawled, his voice laced with scorn as he fixed Sirius with a piercing glare, the anger simmering in his dark eyes. Like a festering wound finally bursting open, his pent-up emotions spilled forth in a torrent of words.

"Knowing you has been my life's greatest torment. You, with your reckless disregard for consequences, your arrogance knows no bounds. You sought to end me, all for the sake of your twisted amusement! And why? Because I dared to keep a watchful eye on you? That was justification enough for you to conspire to see me dead at the hands of your werewolf friend? Some friend you are!"

For the first time, Sirius averted his gaze from Severus, his already loosened tie still causing him to feel suffocated. "T-That was… a mistake. I—"

"Mistake? I was sworn by Dumbledore to never speak of your friend's secret. What did that earn me? Ridicule! James Potter paraded around Hogwarts, relishing in his fabricated heroics of how he saved poor Severus from death—to Lily, he bragged the same—bragged about a twisted murder you planned."

Sirius breathed deeply, the memories fresh in his thoughts. All that had happened before he had changed his ways. Before he had gotten that oracle about his death. "I know it was a mista—"

"Did you stop?" Severus boomed, and stepped closer to Sirius, his hands gesturing his uncontrolled emotions. "I was reading the OWL's paper, minding my own business by the tree. You came to me! James spun the first spell, and you were there to laugh as he boasted of his heroic deed.

"You found amusement in his antics, egging him on as he hurled spells in my direction, all to elicit the laughter of those around. You found mirth in my humiliation, whether it was being left suspended in mid-air, or stripped of my dignity—Why? James made his intentions abundantly clear—'It's more the fact that he exists.'"

Sirius remembered that incident. It hadn't been that long since then. That memory he dearly wished he could change somehow. Letting James take off Severus' pants and exposing him nude to the school while he cheered on. It was definitely the last nudge that pushed Severus into the arms of the dark side.

"I'd have felt the same…" Sirius muttered, horrified with himself. "I'd have hated myself, and James, and Remus… I'd never forgive…"

"Yet you come here to ask what's wrong with me?"

The more Sirius thought about it, the more he saw what kind of man he had been; And perhaps still was. A wild dog with no regard for those around. A thrill seeker uncaring of others. When he tried to imagine himself as Severus, all he could come up with was hatred for himself.

He lost Lily too. Sirius realized, Lost to his bully, who lied about saving him. While he couldn't reveal the secret.

Sirius still saw Severus as a wrong man with plenty of faults. But he no longer felt blind to his own faults and those of his friends. Not when he somewhat shared the same heartache as the man before him.

Somehow, despite doing his worst for years, James got the girl of his wishes, by simply acting nice for the last two years.

Does she even love him? Sirius genuinely wondered, not able to see how someone could feel attracted to James after having seen him do the worst of things imaginable. How can Severus ever forget it all?'

"I feel suffocated." Severus continued, "I feel suffocated that I can't kill you with my own hands."

"I'll come clean to Lily and tell her everything. You can have your friendship back, Severus. Don't fall into the Dark Lord's sway. He only takes, not gives," Sirius tried to reason, albeit knowing it wouldn't work. Things had gone too far.

"Just… don't follow him. You can come after me to kill me all you want afterward."

"It's too late," Severus replied in a deeper, calmer voice. "Too late to apologize, too late for friendships… too late to step back."

Sirius finally stood up, rubbing his face. He had come knocking on the door with anger and rage. Now, he felt defeated by mere words and memories that he himself recollected. He had crossed the line of sanity and lunacy too many times without knowing.

So much so that now when the realization came, it was already too late.

"I won't seek forgiveness. But I apologize for being an ass," Sirius said, his voice throaty. "If I could go back and change it all, I'd have kicked James' ass and shook your hand. I know it's too late but… I hope you stand on the right side. I hope you're more brainy than I am brawny."

Severus looked at him as he heard those last words. They were the words he had used to insult James and Sirius on the first day they met on that train.

Sirius smiled in a self-deprecating manner, "I guess you were right."

"The Dark Mark won't let me," Severus said, revealing his forearm adorned with the Dark Mark.

Sirius nodded, and stepped back towards the exit. "I won't ask you to fight against him. I won't ask you to scheme against him and report to me. Just… don't do anything… hide somewhere far."

"Until?"

"Until I hunt each one of them down," Sirius replied, grabbing the suit jacket he had taken off from feeling suffocated before.

Severus didn't respond to that and walked him to the door, his expressions unchanging as before. The outburst had seemed to change nothing on the surface.

Finally, as Sirius stood at the door, he looked back at Severus and extended his arm. "Don't forgive me if you don't want to…"

Severus merely looked at the extended hand with indifference.

So Sirius continued, "Try to kill me if you want to…"

Severus remained unmoved.

"When all this is over, let's settle this seven years' worth of nasty mess—with duels," Sirius suggested. "One-to-one."

Severus sneered, "Brawn indeed."

Sirius chucked and retracted his hand before walking away to Apparate. He didn't look back again, for Severus' face constantly reminded him of how naive he was. The fine line between pranks and madness had remained elusive to him for so long.

Too damn embarrassing.

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