Chapter2

#Chapter2

I groan when my alarm clock beeps and brings me from my weak slumber, rolling over to shut it off and falling off the bed during. I rub my puffy eyes before standing up and walking over to brush my teeth and attempt to brush my hair. Next, I throw on the first shirt I see and some dark jeans.

My style has changed a bit; my wardrobe turned into darker colours. I also lost a bit of weight, but I decided not to dwell on it and ignore the way my clothes seemed looser and looser on my body. I wasn't anorexic, far from it, but the curves I used to have disappeared into thin air.

/"Bye, Sonia!/" I shout and exit the house, quickly rubbing Wolf's head in the process.

The walk to the shop where I work is about 15 minutes long; 3-4 songs. I put on my earphones and enjoy the breeze while it lasts, knowing that in a few hours I'll be burning like a chicken in the oven.

Tom left yesterday sooner than usual; he must've sensed that I wasn't in the mood to be around people. It's not like he ever stayed overnight, but he usually waited to watch a movie with me or something. After the movie was done, though, I always made up some crappy excuse and politely made him go back home. If I didn't, I think he'd gladly want to stay, but I just couldn't let him.

Lately, he started to push things a bit, showing me that he wanted my body, and not just to hug me. He's never forced me into anything, but I can feel that he's slightly frustrated. Sonia, for some reason though, doesn't seem to like him. She tells me he seems a bit too uptight and too much of a good boy for her to buy it. Also, she always says that she can see from a mile that he's not the one that I need.

Unfortunately, the one that I need is miles away and hates me, which is the only reason stopping me from going back to Missoula, to him. If I knew how much I'd miss him and that it would really be the end for us, I never would have left. Seems as if I thought that our love would be eternal, like it always is in all the books I read.

Books lie, I've come to find.

I sigh to myself as I push open the doors of the shop, my boss widely smiling at me. /"Hi, Sophie. How are you?/" she tucks her long dark hair behind her ear.

/"Hi, Anne. I'm fine, you?/" she always insists that I call her by her name.

/"Good, I think that today will be a good day./" she grins and I force a smile, attempting to show that I agree. The work goes by quite quickly, thankfully my co-workers aren't bad to work with, excluding one female who happens to hate me. She always has some sneaky comments for me and tries to lower my self esteem, but I have decided that I don't really care about what she has to say about me so I just ignore her. When I'm done, I try to make my way home as quickly as possible, trying to escape the burning heat pressing down on me, trying to suffocate me. It gets really hot in Spokane over the summer.

When I come home, I take a quick shower and change the sweaty clothes, before flopping down on my bed again.

/"Come here, baby./" he says in his deep voice, his arms outstretched. I laugh and shake my head.

/"Make me./"

He raises his brows in challenge, and then sprints towards me, picking me up in his arms.

Squealing, I begin to hit his bum, but stop when he hits mine back, kneading my bum afterwards. /"I really fucking love your fucking ass./"

He walks upstairs, to his bedroom, while I can't stop the small moans from escaping as his hands travel all over my backside.

I laugh as he throws me on the bed, and pulls me by my ankles closer to him. /"Mine./" he whispers before ripping the clothes off me like I was the best present he'd ever gotten.

I angrily wipe the tears flowing again.

Ugh, this is pathetic.

I'm being so goddamned pathetic, fantasizing about something that I can never and will never have again. However, I can't stop. It's like my mind has a projector of some kind, meant to torture me.

/"Sophie, darling, do you want some-/" godmother Sonia's voice is cut off when she sees my state. /"Oh, baby./" she says in a soft voice and I burst into tears. Quickly, she makes her way to me and wraps her arms around me. /"This is too much, Sophie. You can't let this go on anymore. I don't give a fuck about how, but this needs to stop. I can't stand seeing you cry like this all the time. I knew he has changed you, but this is fucking crazy. You know perfectly fucking well that having Tom with you is just a distraction, and it's not even a good one! You need him, baby./"

I sniffle and raise my head from her shoulder to look at her.

/"I know, Sonia, but he doesn't need me. He hates me, remember?/"

/"Yeah, I call bullshit on that. He was probably mad as fuck or like, really hurt and drunk. He doesn't hate you. He loves you./" she says, her hand caressing my back. I really wish she was right, but I know that she's not.

/"I love you, Sonia./" I whisper.

/"I love you, too./" she replies.