Destruction of My Moral Compass
Jake and Zen arrived home in the morning. Nothing was out of place and they were none the wiser to how Mitchell and I had spent our night. Mitchell was a bit nervous, though it never showed since his demeanor was always flighty. I was still seeing insects climbing out of the patterns on the floor and the ceiling danced with the lights reflected from the passing cars below us. My last concern was wether Jake and Zen had noticed the lustful glances that Mitchell and I were trying to conceal. The atmosphere was surprisingly average and light as usual.
In retrospect, it was common for me to hang out with anyone I wanted while partaking in certain recreational substances without any mixed intentions. Almost all of my friends were men and Zen knew this. I decided that I wouldn't trust another woman since I've always been screwed by them. What terrible luck to encounter such vicious people in my own gender. Giving that my friends were all men, it was normal for certain ones to want more from me than friendship, though, their respect and dignity stopped them from persuing it.
I was also very close with each of my friends and roommates at the time, which made it insanely easy for me to take advantage of their trust and ignorance. It wasn't as big a deal as you would regularly think because two weeks later and a few more visits with Mitchell, Zen and I broke up. It turned out that he was seeing someone else, too. Neither of us were right in what we did, but neither of us admitted to cheating on one another. Zen didn't really find out about Mitchell and I until months after our separation.
Mitchell and I had told him that it just happened recently when he did notice we were close. It didn't seem to bother him since he brought the girl he was messing around with to the apartment a few times. I barely left my room unless no one was home. It wasn't to avoid Zen and his new fling. I just enjoyed being alone more often, then when everyone was gone I would wander out to the living room and spend my time watching the street while sitting in my windowsill smoking.
We split up, but Zen still helped me keep my stash supplied here and there. I had made it a life choice to be high every waking moment of the day by then, and I enjoyed every second of it. Mitchell and I were spending time together more often, as well. He was a little reluctant to invest emotionally since we started out in an uncouth way. Jake knew about our relationship first hand because he was giving me rides out to see Mitchell and bringing Mitchell home with him.
Sometimes Jake would let me just take his car. Those were the nights that Mitchell and I would take our time and go out on dates. He may have been reluctant at first but it wasn't long before he admitted that he saw our relationship as more than just friends with benefits. He asked me to date him which I happily agreed to. Mitchell had something that drew me in and I absolutely loved every bit of it.
He was like a drug to me and he knew how to rock my world. He quickly became my very best friend. We had our own little world that no one could penetrate. He was gentle and rough in all of the right ways and there was an absurd amount of desire smoldering in each of us. We agreed on most things and shared our minds with each other. Understanding was like second nature between him and I.
As time progressed, we were more interested in spending time with each other than we were in going to hang out with friends. We were content and completely satisfied with just being together, however; my life outside of Mitchell was crumbling piece by piece. I had already quit my job and was looking for work. I had absolutely no luck in finding anything to do and not too long after I quit, one of my room mates quit their job, then Zen quit his. This left Jake as the only person who was paying for anything and we all agreed that it wasn't fair to Jake.
We came to a conclusion after trying to fairly divvy out responsibility and ended up going our separate ways. I have no clue where Zen and Graves went, but Jake returned home to his parent house in Mayfield and I moved in with my grandmother and uncle in Painesville. I was desperate for work and spent most of my daytime putting in applications to every hiring workplace within 25 miles of where I was currently living. My grandmother had just inherited her brother's car due to his own health reasons preventing him from even needing it. She didn't really give me much freedom then and viewed me as if I was raised too wild.
She controlled where I went and what I was doing when I was home. It was unnecessary for her to monitor me so closely. I've never responded well to a hovering parent, so aside from what I needed to do, I tried to avoid her as often as possible. I love her and I knew then and now what she was trying to do, but it ultimately pushed us apart. An opportunity arose and my grandmother had suggested that I start working for a client she'd been taking care of.
This client was a friend of hers that had a fall and needed extensive assistance with her daily care and going to and from the restroom. My new client was kind and understanding. She welcomed me to keep watch over her during the middle of the night. This also helped my relationship with my grandmother. We had become coworkers and we had a lot to agree on when it came to work.
I had finally found something I was decent at doing and made money. After my grandmother worked with me for a few weeks, her and my uncle handed me a small sum of money. My grandmother wanted me to attend a class to become a state tested nursing assistant. I accepted the money and signed up for the first class I could find. It was time to start a new chapter of my life and I was more than ready for it!