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Hogwarts: The Unscientific Wizard

Andy Collins insists Hogwarts is a cursed school. A centenarian lives in solitude, an elderly cat lady's marriage has broken off, a middle-aged man with a hook nose is heartbroken in love, a half-giant lives in a cramped hut and a glass beauty has a daily hangover. Andy Collins lists them all, and it seems that every single professor at Hogwarts is on the list of bachelors! The entire Faculty! Andy Collins had no great ambitions and just wanted to study 'Magical Magic' in peace. To have a happy life as a Professor at the school after graduation, Andy Collins decided to break the curse and spend seven years of school life solving the personal problems of the professors as a part-time gig. First, let's start with a blind date. PS: Mc only watched 1st Harry Potter Film. === Author: soda bottle cap === *Disclaimer* Other than translation, everything belong to the original creator. If the original creator wants to take it down, pls leave a review below, just found the CN novel and translate it here to increase my vocabulary, English and to earn some coffee change. If you have some extra pocket money, Support me on Patreon: www.patreon.com/Crazy_Cat. This is where I read it- https://www.69shu.pro/book/52880.htm You can support original author in Chinese site.

Crazy_DarkSide_Cat · Book&Literature
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97 Chs

Chapter 18 Targeted in Potions class?

Ding ding ding--

At eight o'clock the next morning, the alarm clock beside Andy's bed went off right on time.

"Uh..."

Andy didn't even open his eyes, casually turning off the alarm clock and preparing to go back to sleep.

Ding ding ding-

The alarm clock continued to ring, and as soon as Andy brought it over, he half-squinted his eyes and glanced at it.

'Hmm? Can't turn it off?'

Andy sat up from the bed in a daze, ready to see what was going on.

The sound of the alarm clock suddenly stopped.

Andy glanced around and realised that this was no longer his home bedroom but the Ravenclaw boys' dormitory.

The alarm clock is a magical item, its on/off button is a pendulum, and the alarm clock's ringing will only stop if Andy gets up.

"Ha-"

Andy let out a long yawn, reluctantly got out of bed, put on slippers and walked to the bathroom to start washing up.

After spending five minutes cleaning himself up, Andy returned to his dorm room and found that his three roommates were surprisingly still sleeping.

"Terry, Michael, Anthony! Hurry up and get up, it's already past eight o'clock, we have class at nine in the morning."

Waking up his several roommates, Andy felt that he had been benevolent enough.

Not caring what happened to them next, Andy changed into his Hogwarts uniform, picked up his textbook and left the dormitory.

The great hall was on the ground floor, and the Potions' classroom was in the basement, so it was basically on the way.

Seeing that there was still enough time, Andy decided to familiarize himself with the stairs of Hogwarts first.

After all, he will be living here for the next seven years, so it's important to find his way, right?

Walking down the stairs, plus the fact that he could ask for directions when he met a ghost, Andy spent about ten minutes walking to the Great Hall on the ground floor.

Arriving at the long Ravenclaw table, Andy found that Hermione was not only here early, but had already finished her breakfast and was currently flipping through the book Magical Drafts and Potions, doing a final review.

That's right! For other young wizards, it was a preview, but for Hermione, it was a review.

She is quite a hard worker!

Andy skilfully sat next to Hermione, picked up a pumpkin pie and took a bite while greeting, "Morning!"

"Morning!" Hermione said back while reading her book.

"Didn't you memorize the textbook already?" Andy asked casually, "Why are you reading so early in the morning?"

"That's right!"

Hermione looked at Andy with a solemn expression, "It's almost time for the first lesson, so I think it's best if we review the textbook again."

Andy actually quite understood Hermione's way of studying.

A good student!

But this kind of learning style wouldn't work well in the wizarding world.

"Alright, then you go for it!" Andy continued to eat.

Hermione glanced at Andy, "Aren't you going to preview?"

"I read the textbook once before school."

Andy swallowed his food and then said, "I'm a practical person, so instead of putting effort into reading a textbook, I might as well try to boil a potion myself."

Hermione immediately asked curiously, "And did you succeed?"

"Even my father was roasted to death!" Andy had a matter-of-course expression.

After eating breakfast, Andy sat in a chair in a daze.   

Although it had been a while since he got up, Andy was still sleepy.

He used to be like this when he was at home, and after about a half hour or so of relaxation, Andy would be able to mentally refresh himself.

At eight-forty, Andy's three roommates came into the great hall.

Originally they wanted to come over and sit with Andy, but after seeing Andy sitting with Hermione, the three boys instantly revealed a look of unspoken ambiguous smiles.

Andy waved his hand at them and had no intention of going over.

The brats are not as interesting as Loli, right?

After another ten minutes, Hermione closed her book, got up and said to Andy, "There's only ten more minutes until class, are you still going to laze around here?"

***

The Potions' classroom was in the basement of the castle, which was much cooler than the main floor of the castle. However, it was now September, and the basement gave people the feeling that it was colder instead.

Walking into the classroom, Andy glanced around.

The four walls were dimly lit, and along the walls were bottles of glass jars with creepy specimens of animals soaked inside.

A copper balance and some vials and jars of ingredients were placed on a long wooden table, and more than twenty cauldrons were placed orderly across the wooden table. There was also a stone basin in the corner, presumably for washing hands.

Andy and Hermione found a seat.

At exactly nine o'clock, Snape walked into the classroom wearing a wide black cloak. He walked briskly to the podium, narrowed his eyes as he looked around the room, picked up the roster and began to call the roll.

"You have come here to learn the delicate discipline and rigorous process of potion mixing."

Snape's voice was barely above a whisper, but everyone heard every word he said.

"Since there is no silly wand-waving here, there are many among you who will not believe this is magic."

"I don't expect you to truly appreciate the beauty of the white smoke and wafting aroma from the cauldron that simmers slowly over a gentle fire; you won't truly understand the subtle magic of the liquid that flows into one's veins, the mind-blowing, volatile, wilful charm of it."

"I can teach you how to elevate prestige, brew honour, and even stop death - only if you're not one of the trolls I've often encountered."

The classroom fell silent after Snape's opening speech.

"Collins!" Snape suddenly called out.

Andy: "?"

"If I asked you to help me find a bezoar, where would you look?" Snape questioned.

Are you trying to buy it for nothing?

"Uh...I would go to Diagon Alley and get one for you if you gave me a sum of gold galleons."

Maybe even get a little profit while I'm at it.

Andy continued to reply, "If you don't give me the money, I can take it out of the goat's stomach. But only if you get me a goat."

Snape snorted coldly from his nose and said in a gloomy tone, "Answering questions doesn't require so much nonsense."

"What would happen if I put in porcupine quills without putting out the heat while boiling a potion for boils?"

Andy was about to joke around a bit more, but after glancing at Snape's cold, icy eyes, Andy answered back honestly, "The potion would slowly dissolve the cauldron, emitting acidic green smoke and a sharp hissing sound. The splash of the potion is corrosive, and when it touches the body, it will cause dense red boils to pop up."

Snape's gaze swept to the others, "Why don't you all write all this down? This is the most common mistake you will make when brewing a potion to cure boils!"

The rustle of quill and parchment rubbing together came to life in the classroom.

Snape said, "Today, I will teach you a simple cure for boils."

Snape waved his wand as he spoke, and the exact steps for boiling a potion for boils suddenly appeared on the blackboard.

----

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Thanks for all your love and support.

Read advance chapters on P@treon. If you have some extra pocket money, Support me at P@treon: www.p@treon.com/Crazy_Cat.

Happy Reading!!!

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