Autopilot

Dahil sa project namin sa Filipino Literature ay nagdesisyon kami ni Lee na umabsent sa Friday subjects namin. Bale three days kaming magbabakasyon sa Balesin Island for us to really enjoy the place. I already planned everything ahead: from the things to pack to the locations to visit. I even rented a car para iwas hassle na rin kaming dalawa sa pagta-travel namin kesa na mag-commute pa kami papubtang airport.

On the other hand, Lee was acting weird these past few days. Imbes na samahan niya ako sa kwarto namin ay kusa siyang umaalis at pumupunta sa kwarto ni Cobi. "May gagawin lang kami," ang palagi niyang rason kapag nagpapaalam siya akin. Wala naman akong karapatan na pigilan siya kasi buhay niya iyon, at isa pa, dahil sa nangyari sa amin noong Martes ay naging mas matibay ang relasyon naming dalawa.

As he was driving the car since he insisted to do it, he asked me to get his mixtapes from his backpack. "Saan dito?" tanong ko sa kanya.

"Hanapin mo iyong mixtape na may pangalan mo sa cover," nakangiting sagot niya naman habang nakatutok pa rin ang kanyang mga mata sa kalsada at nagda-drive. Natuwa naman ako nang nalaman kong ginawan niya ako ng mixtape, pero hindi ko ito ipinakita sa kanya at baka pagtawanan niya lang ako.

As the first track played, I could not help but to reminisce the time that he lied about our relationship just to save me from Venus. That was the night when I realized how good his intentions were and how kind his heart is as well.

"What's the title of this track, love?" I asked him.

"You'll Be in My Heart," nakangisi niyang sagot sabay titig sa akin na nakakapang-asar. I told him that it was a great song, but I never really told him that the lyrics captured what happened on one of the most unforgettable nights that I had with him.

"Of course. That song tells our story," he fleetingly said. As the next track played - a song from my favorite band, LANY - tinitigan ko lang siya nang maigi habang siya ay nagda-drive. His perfectly-sculpted jawline matches his rose-colored lips, and even though his hair is longer than an average guy in our university, one could not deny that he still looks more masculine than them.

He even looks more masculine than I do.

"Oh, my God. I am so in love," as what Paul Klein sang in the background. I unfastened my seat belt and asked him to stop by, and as he obliged to my request, I caressed the back of his head and kissed him.

"I'm sorry, I could not resist it," I shyly told him after we kissed. He just grinned and kissed me back. This was more passionate than the first one as his lips slowly went to my neck and sucked it.

"I'm sorry, I could not resist you," he whispered seductively before he fastened his seatbelt and started the engine.

*****

Before we went to the Alphaland Hangar to wait for our scheduled flight, We stopped by at the local eatery in Pasay to have our breakfast. "Gusto kong i-try mo ang napakasarap nilang specialty rito," ika niya bago niya ako kinindatan.

"Make sure na masarap talaga iyan, a. Baka pagtripan mo na naman ako," I answered as I opened the car's door. Si Lee naman ay tumawa lang habang nilalaro ang susi ng sasakyan at wala nang inimik pa.

Nang pumasok na kami ay kaagad niya akong inutusan na maghanap ng bakanteng upuan st siya naman ang magu-order. Pagkabalik niya ay may hawak-hawak na siyang tray ng mga ulam.

"Mukhang masarap nga," kako habang nilalapag namin ang mga ulam sa mesa. "Ano ito?" I asked him before I took a bite of this aromatic viand in front of us.

"Bulalong kalabaw. That's one of their specialties here" he replied happily. My mood suddenly shifted dahil sa narinig ko.

"Kalabaw?!"

"Oo. Kalabaw. Bakit ba?" nakangiwing sagot niya sa akin. Tumingin ako sa paligid at napansin kong nakatitig sa amin ang serbedora sa sabilang mesa. Hindi na ako nagsalita at iniwasan ko na lang na kumuha pa sa platitong iyon. Narinig kong may ibinulong siya, pero hindi ko naman ito maintindihan since he was speaking in Korean language again.

Kumuha ako ng manok sa isang mangkok at tsaka ako kumagat sa isang hiwa nito.

"This chicken tastes delicious. Chinese style?" I asked him.

He looked at me apathetically and told me that it was not chicken. "Sweet and spicy na pinaupong gansa iyan. Also one of their specialties as well," he said.

I checked my phone and searched for the word gansa since I wasn't familiar to it, at eventually ay hindi ko na rin ginalaw ang ulam na iyon nang nalaman kong hindi pala iyon manok.

When Lee noticed that I wasn't enjoying the viands that he ordered, his face turned sour. "Kayo talagang mga mayayaman, ang arte niyo pagdating sa pagkain," ika niya.

"Hindi naman sa gan'on. Hindi lang talaga ako sanay na kumain ng mga ganyan," sagot ko naman sa kanya.

"Hindi rin naman ako sanay na kumain niyan dati, a, but I still enjoyed eating them," he angrily retorted.

I stared at him for what it felt like an eternity before I told him, "To each his own, Sang Woo Lee."

Nasaktan ata siya sa sinabi ko kaya hindi na siya nagsalita pa, pero pagkarating namin sa sasakyan ay tinapat niya na ako. "Hindi sa lahat ng bagay ay ako na lang ang maga-adjust sa'yo, Greyson. Paano naman ako? Try mo namang maging empathetic sa boyfriend mo. "

"What are you talking about?"

Pinikit niya na lang ang kanyang mga mata at tsaka siya huminga ng malalim. "You really have no idea of what's going on. Nevermind, Greyson. Shall we go to Alphaland now?"

I didn't utter anything to ease the tension between these four corners of our rented vehicle.

*****

Kahit na magkatabi kami ni Lee rito sa Alphaland Hangar ay hindi pa rin kami nakikipag-uusap sa isa't isa. As what I have noticed, he was drinking his fourth cup of coffee already.

"Hindi ba masama sa katawan mo iyan?" I asked him.

He grimaced upon sipping on his coffee. "Concerned ka pala," he nonchalantly responded.

I raised my left eyebrow upon hearing it. "Of course. Liability kita kasi mahal kita."

Nakita kong ngumiti siya pero nang nahalata niyang nakatingin ako sa kanya ay bigla siyang sumimangot.

"Next time sana i-try mo rin na ipakita iyan sa akin, hindi puro salita ka lang," sambit niya naman.

Medyo nasaktan ako sa sinabi niya, but I tried to remain calm kasi ako naman talaga ang may kasalanan kung bakit gan'on ang inaasal niya sa akin.

"I promise," I said.

*****

Lee's Point of View

Pang-apat na baso ko na ng kape itong iniinom ko, pero hindi pa rin ako kumakalma hanggang ngayon dahil sa dami ng iniisip ko. Dadagdag pa sa problema ko itong flight namin ni Greyson maya-maya. Hindi ko man pinapahalata sa kanya dahil sa ayaw ko siyang mataranta ay takot na takot talaga ako sa mga matataas na lugar.

"Hindi ba masama sa katawan mo iyan?" ika niya. Ayan na naman siya sa kanyang ugali na nagtatanong pa kahit na alam naman niya ang sagot.

"Concerned ka pala," ika ko naman para tumigil na siya. Hanggang ngayon ay masama pa rin ang loob ko sa kanya dahil sa inasal niya sa kanina doon sa paborito kong eatery noong nag-aaral pa lang ako ng English at Tagalog sa may Pasay. Pinuna pa ako ng kaibigan kong serbedora roon dahil sa sobrang arte niya sa pagkain.

"Of course. Liability kita kasi mahal kita," narinig kong sagot niya sa akin. Mas lalong bumilis ang pintig ng puso ko dahil sa sinabi niya, but I remained cold and pretended that I was still mad at him para naman malaman niya ang kamalian niya.

"Next time sana i-try mo rin na ipakita iyan sa akin, hindi puro salita ka lang."

"I promise," sagot niya naman sa akin.

Nang nasa loob na kami ng eroplano ay nakangiti lang si Greyson habang nakatingin siya sa mga nagkukumpulang alapaap sa kalangitan. "Look at those beautiful clouds," he uttered habang hinihila niya ang braso ko. I just pretended that I also loved looking at those clouds even though I was scared.

The adage that says bad kind of butterflies in the stomach is real and I can attest to it.

Nang nakita no Greyson kung paano ako umakto ay kinutya na ako. "Who would have thought that you are scared of something like this?" he said before he beamed.

If he only knew that I am just as coward as he is.

"Iyan na nga ba ang sinasabi ko sa'yo. Pagtatawanan mo lang ako dahil takot ako sa heights, 병신 새끼*!" sumbat ko sa kanya bago ko siya inirapan. Hindi ko na lang siya pinansin nang kinulit niya pa ako, and the next thing I knew is that he was already taking photos of the clouds with his phone.

"You are really an odd guy. You're afraid of something so beautiful like this?" he asked while showing me the captured shots of those beautiful clouds.

"I guess it takes one wuss to know another one," I casually told him before I grabbed his hand and put it in my chest. "You were afraid to fall in love before, don't you? Love is also beautiful, so why were you afraid to let yourself be happy as it makes your heart flutter like this?"

He didn't utter any single word after he heard what I just said to him for the rest of our flight.

*****

*MF.