Incurable

Naomi~

There was a silence after my story before Matilda signed. She placed a hand on my shoulder and I looked at her. "You are safe now, darling."

"You believe me?" I asked again unable to believe that she had so much faith in my story and that she cared so much.

Her face softened at my question. "I do and I promise you this…" She held my good hand and squeezed gently. "I will do anything in my power to keep you out of harm's way.

I felt tears sting my eyes at her kindness. When you crave touch, they call you touch-derived, what does one call the feeling of craving for kindness? It was a strange but beautiful feeling when you finally got what you yearned for.

"Thank you," she whispered and squeezed her hand back.

Then all of a sudden, we heard hurried footsteps and before long Mary barged into the room. "Matilda, the boy is convulsing!"

I was up and so was Matilda, we rushed to his room to a sight that made my blood run cold. Abel was writhing in the bed, his eyes rolled back and his mouth frothing.

"Abel!" I yelped as I got to his side, I reached for him.

"Don't touch him!" Mary screamed. I looked at her incredulously. She had gloves on. "We underestimated the infection, it is more potent than we thought. You mustn't contact it." She explained.

It reminded me of Sebastien's words. I was at odds with what to do I only stared at him. I felt a hand on my shoulder and turned to see, Matilda.

"It is better you leave, child." She was getting me on my feet and towards the exit.

"No, I can't leave him…" I protested.

"Trust me, Naomi, it is for the best." I was outside the room now. "I made a promise to you. Let me fulfil it." Her eyes were pleading.

I looked over her should to see Mary attending to Abel who was still convulsing.

I looked again at Matilda and gave her a reluctant nod. She smiled reassuringly at me before closing the door.

I bit my lip and blinked away the tears that threatened to fall. Just when I had started to believe that the worse had passed. A wave of hopelessness washed over me and I had to lean against the door.

"Weakness," Came a voice from the darkness.

"What?" I asked. Only then did I administer a strong metallic smell. It was him.

"Is your weakness what you will let him see? He asked. "then you should have just let him die, Don't you think?" His sardonic voice sent chills down my spine.

All I wanted to do was to run away from him, from all this, from the possibility of losing more than I had already lost. But his presence at this moment was so overwhelming that I found it too hard to move.

"Why don't you scurry away and stop feigning bravery," His voice was low, vibrating at my feet. "It's pathetic."

Pathetic. Pathetic. Pathetic. The word resonated in my head. The word had been thrown at me by everyone. My uncle, Rita, the village women, Raymond… and now a devil who locked himself away from the rest of the world. Why was I always looked down upon? Always beneath anybody and everybody that I ever came across?

My uncle had been a drunk man. He had been the pathetic man, he died as one. Rita craved validation from a murderer and psychopath, she was the pathetic one. The village women were callous gossipmongers who never gave a fuck about anyone other than themselves. But why the hell was it that they were the ones that found me pathetic?

Bubbling to the surface now was anger. I had been through it all, neglect, labour, rejection, ostracism, and heartbreak. On top of all that I had witnessed a murder and was now tagged a murderer.

By the time I came out of my thoughts, he was gone as though he had not been there, to begin with. Without a second thought, I opened the door to the room to be met with two shocked women who now wore quarantine garb.

"Naomi…" Matilda mumbled against her face mask.

"Is there extra clothing?" I asked.

"Naomi, you should… "Matilda tried to protest.

"There is another set in the wardrobe over there," Mary informed.

"Ma…" Matilda tried again.

"The boy… Abel will need his sister by his side."

"Hurry up, we take shifts tonight." Matilda finally agreed.

****

By morning we were all exhausted and still, there was no improvement in Abel. And for the next couple of days, there was no elixir, herb or concoction that we did not administer to him. The night drew long as his condition worsened. His sores were disappearing but he was getting thinner and paler by the day. He had more bald spots than hair now.

By the end of the second week, there still seemed to be no sun on the horizon. One night after I had thought long and hard about it, I gathered Matilda and Mary after Abel had been put to rest with some opium to aid with the pain.

"I have to leave," I told them after a long silence.

"Child… " Matilda started.

"My mind is made up."

"That is dangerous and for what reason?"

"There is a herbalist that I know that might be able to help."

Both women's eyes widened. "You are taking Abel?" They asked in unison.

"No, but I will take samples of his blood, spit and hair. At least my time with Raymond had served a purpose other than my destruction.

"You will be wanted."

"They think I am dead."

"Still… " Matilda got up from her seat. "You are not allowed."

"Let her go."

They all turned in his direction. He stepped into the light. His gaze went from the twins before resting on me. "If she has the temerity to leave this castle to look for a cure for brother, let her."

I held his gaze and none of us was willing to let the other win by looking away.

"Your arm has yet to fully heal," Matilda reminded

"Auntie, I can't let him die," I countered. "I can't be weak." And directly to Sebastien, I said. "I can't be pathetic."

****

"I will travel by the first ray of sunrise," I informed them. "I will go in disguise."

"As what? you are not the type to blend with the crowd. You will be detected."

"I am going disguised as a man."

"Your eyes will give you away," Matilda argued.

"I am going as a blind man." I countered. "I will go in blindfold. The blind cover their eyes because of their sensitivity."

"That is quite ingenious, my dear but please for the sake of your brother, be careful," Mary said.

Matilda sat in silence, her disapproval palpable on her face.

I took a deep breath and walked to where she sat and crouched down to her level so that they were eye to eye. "Aunty, you needn't worry. I will be very careful."

"Who told you that I was worried?" Matilda asked, trying to sound indifferent. But the slight quiver of voice gave her away.

I smiled and held her hand and gave it a reassuring squeeze. I got up and yawned. "I am going to need my energy tomorrow."

Mary got up as well. "Go to bed, you need not worry about Abel."

I gave Matilda a final glance before leaving.

At dawn…

As I packed all I would need in a leather bag that Mary had given me, I mentally went through my plan. Looking for faults in the plan, liable things I might have overlooked. I look at where my garments had been laid.

I picked up the worn-out tunic that I had been given. It smelt musty but clean. I grazed my hand over the binds that I would use on my chest.

I got dressed and packed up with the blindfold in my left hand. I quietly opened the door to the room and stepped out.

As I closed the door, my ears caught a sound that made me alert. I tuned my ears and the sound became somewhat clear. It was a hushed conversation. My suspicion rose even higher when I heard a whisper of my name. The conversation was about me.

I tiptoed to the source but something stopped me in my tracks. The metallic smell that I had come to loathe hung in the air. Sebastien was close.

I turned a corner to see what I suspected. Sebastien's white hair shone brighter than the flames of the torch. In front of him was one of the twins.

The twin in front of him seemed too distressed with what she was saying to notice me watching but not Sebastien.

"We have a visitor, it would appear," He said.

The twin spun around. "You are ready?"

"I am," I replied. The slight incline of her eyes gave her away as Matilda. I flashed a look at Sebastien, he caught me and returned a look that I couldn't read.

The thing that disturbed me about the man was the fact that his expressions always held secrets. Was he angry, amused, disgusted? It always seemed like he looked beyond me. Into my soul, into my psyche.

He looked as though he'd lack knowledge of human emotion yet he always knew what to say to get a reaction from me. It made my skin crawl yet instead of fearing him, now he only ever hit a nerve. He made me want to be defiant. To prove to him that he did not know as much as he thought he knew about me.

Matilda looked between us and coughed to get our attention. She turned to her nephew. "Do not forget about what we spoke about."

I expected that because of her obvious displeasure with me leaving, I half thought Sebastien would forbid me from leaving as the lord of the castle. Instead, he walked away without a word.

"I will be on my way," I told her. "I'll see Abel and Mary on my way out."

"Alright child," she said. "Good luck."