What happened to us?

I was awake.

I knew that much.

But, the problem was my body, I guess it was on strike after what I put it through.

I was feeling awful, Not being able to use my senses even though I knew I was alive again, broke me.

I couldn't even feel my body, not even pain. It felt like I was in a very empty and dark place, floating on air with nothing on my mind and heart. I was like a zombie or something. Everything was void.

"Ooh, looks like our princess is awake" I heard my twin sister's detached soft voice steps away from where I layed. Classic Antonia and her tough love approach.

But, it was enough to make my heartbeat accelerate. I was so happy to find out that I could still use my hearing sense, most importantly hearing her voice. The trouble was with the rest of my body. I couldn't even groan as a reply to show her that I was up.

"Don't bother forcing yourself to reply to me because, you're covered in bandages all over your body and lips are no exception, Heard from the doctors that you were hurt pretty bad and your case doesn't look promising" Said Antonia coldly, slowly walking to sit on the chair that was beside my bed.

And it was quiet for sometime before I heard a sniff from her. She was crying. I hated myself that I didn't think of her and her babies before deciding to end my life selfishly like that.

She was seven months pregnant that month. And since she was carrying twins, She looked like a big balloon.

I could even picture her wiping her tears away delicately.

"You are truly heroic, Andy. I give you that. Speeding off on a slippery mountain at night? What were you thinking? Were you filming fast and furious 20 or something?" Joked before I heard her laugh bitterly.

"We used to be best friends, Andy. Just us against the world after Mom and Dad died. What happened to us? What's this I'm hearing that you're already married to some guy outside the country and suffered from domestic abuse? Abuse, Andy!!" Sobbed Antonia, right beside my head. It seemed like she was hugging me but, I didn't feel a thing, just stayed there, listening to her heart wrenching silent cries while my mind wander off.

She made me remember that one fateful night, three months ago when I returned home from work only to find my husband, Trevor, all drunk and disheveled sitting on the sofa, legs apart domineeringly facing me at the front door.

"Hi honey" I greeted and that was enough to anger him apparently.

I saw him standing before staggering to me, I couldn't leave him to fall so I ran to stabilize him and that spooked him further.

"Bitch!" He yelled with a slap to my face. So hard and resonating that made me dizzy for few seconds.

"What_?" I gasped before I felt another slap, on my neck.

"Don't you dare say a thing!" He shouted again with his hand on my neck. Strangling me near death.

I could clearly see his killing intent in his eyes but, I didn't want to push him off because he'll fall on the hard wood table behind him.

"I'll kill you today, You piece of shit!" He said throwing me away which made me stagger before hitting my waist on the door knob. That was a body numbing experience. Right there.

But, Trevor was far from done with me. He came and grabbed my shirt collar dragging me like a heavy parcel just so he could push me to the ground where he kicked me so fiercely, knocking air from my lungs.

"W... What... did... I ... do?" I gasped the words when I felt nearing the heaven's gates.

"Still asking?" Sneered Trevor, kneeling down before he flipped me so I could lay on my stomach.

I felt his his hands skimming on my back before he grabbed my aching waist and hoisted it on air so he could unbelt my trouser roughly.

"I'll show you, Your true master! I'll make you remember your worth years to come" He told me after I was free from the belt and forcibly pushed my waist down, hitting the hard ground. I grunted in pain.

He quickly pushed my pants and boxers to my thighs before he started to spank me again and again on my butt cheeks, each one harder than the one before.

I was in so much pain. I cried for mercy but it all met a deaf ear. He was instead turned on by my cries.

"Such a pitiful whore you are!" He said, lazily, punching on my back before he used my belt to bound my hands with and kneel behind me with my legs spread open for him.

I was far from prepared, let alone willing to it but, I didn't voice it out because I was afraid of losing him with my reluctance.

I didn't know why I let him do that to me. I thought I was in love but, no. I just needed somebody by my side. A gay man like me.

Sex should never be endured. Sex is liberating. Sex is like reaching into a new kind of higher level spiritual world... Not something one should endure.

But, I was doing just that with Trevor since the day we met.

Crying throughout the intercourse. He was never gentle with me. I was always bleeding after he was finished with me with a disgusting look on his face.

There are masochists out there. But, I wasn't one of them. I like feeling treasured, being worshipped on my every part physically and emotionally, I wanted that slow burn when it comes to sex.That long and slow pleasure.

I wanted someone to hug me to sleep after sex, someone to talk with, somebody whom I can miss and not fear.

I hated myself for allowing him to use me like a toy but I still didn't do anything to stop him from doing just that.

I didn't know how or when but, since I was at least breathing again even if it was with the help of machines, I promised to forgive and forget about all of the bitter past and all my fake ass friends.

I was grateful to be back.

And there's nothing better than a second chance.