I want you to know my heart

"Is this really something to get worked up by?" Asked Damon helplessly. How dare he made me look like I was an idiot to be aggrieved by what he did?.

"So, what you're saying is that I'm overeating? Mister do you wish to sleep on the floor in this rainy night?" I threatened him through the dressing table mirror where I was almost done applying my cosmetics.

"Alright, I'm sorry for forcing you into drinking the hot porridge for your own good just after you've just taken a bath" He apologized sarcastically irking me all the more.

That's right. It was just as he said so, sarcastically to add to his crimes but, hear me out here..., We all got our own routines that turn to be done reflexively and mine was brushing my teeth before taking a shower so, the porridge really disrupted my night! I even had to shower twice in one single night and it's not because of sex.

"You don't sound apologetic at all!" I said with a shirk, standing up to walk to the bed angrily.

"That's because I'm really not, Love. The porridge was for your own good!" Justified Damon shuffling aside so I could lay down on the bed beside him.

"Such an idiot you are!" I scolded only for him to sigh with our contact.

"Only your idiot, Love " He said kissing the back of my head before I made myself comfortable in his embrace with my own sigh of satisfaction.

"You're so good to me..., sometimes it makes wonder if you are real" I found myself saying that aloud with no prior warning to my head whatsoever making Damon tense.

"You don't like the way I am?" Asked Damon, hurt.

"No, don't get me wrong. I love you and I was so happy when Dr Louisa said that what I feel for you may be beyond me taking you as my refuge to my past nightmare but as a man. My man to be precisely" I said softly with so much emotions near tears before thanking my stars that I was facing the other way or the blush would have been seen by him.

"Can we not go to work tomorrow? I kind of want to take you out on a date" Said Damon after he sighed in relief to change the subject.

"Look at what one praise can do to a husband. I even score a date!" I said silently telling him that it was okay to speak those mushy words.

"That's because you've bewitched me, Love" He justified himself in that deep, strong whiney tone that I came to love so much.

"Don't be such a baby, Mister! Oh, and before I forget... I'm out as gay in the office" I told him casually.

"Does that mean they know about us?"

"What about us?"

"That we are married, Love"

"Hell no! I'm still shaken after them knowing I'm gay I don't wish for a heart attack" I said sassily.

"You're so brave Love!" He praised kissing me again and again fondly. I felt his pride in me but, I still felt his worries underneath.

"What is it?" I asked placing my hand on top of his.

"They didn't do anything to you right? Is this also related to Regan coming to your office? Did he out you?" Asked Damon with concern and I couldn't help melt for the guy.

"Relax, I'm no pushover. Nobody can make me do what I don't want to" I assured him before kissing the back of his big palm.

"So it went down without a hitch?" Asked Damon just to make sure.

"I came back alive and from our departmental dinner party at that!" I assured him again.

"The worst is out of the way, huh? I'm glad..." He said relaxing his demeanor.

"I'm afraid to go there tomorrow though, does that make sense?" I asked after some silence away.

"How about you laze around here tomorrow?" Suggested Damon. Though it was tempting and all but...

"What would happen to my good employee cap?" I asked him seriously with a pout.

"I'll make sure you still get it plus, you're doing so great with bringing me profit, a day of sick leave won't kill the accounts" Said Damon proudly.

"WOW, I'm really dating a businessman here" I gasped in a feigning shock.

"That's not what's bothering you, is it?" He asked and with that I had to turn to him. I was looking for an opportunity and there it was.

"You" I said looking straight at him.

"What?" He was taken aback.

"You are what's bothering me" I clarified calmly.

"How?" He asked looking back at me, worried.

"Why have I never heard you lament? Opening up to me? All this mysterious shit is killing me on the inside, I need to know your heart, Damon.... Your problems are mine, your pain and joys are all mine. Won't you ever let me in? You are not a fucking Mr Emule here, You are my husband, the one who knows me more than anybody else, my breathing diary. Why can't I be the same to you?" I finished at last looking pleadingly at him. Hoping he got what I was saying.

"I... I'm... I'm sorry. I'm always used to me closed up and do what I have to. I didn't know it was important to you like this" He apologized sincerely caressing my cheek making me whimper.

"Well it is! And I'm not saying this so you could speak now or something just know that I'm here for you, Only for you" I said softly before he came up just to kiss all my pain away.

Sometimes Damon will make you feel like a stranger and some days like you're apart of him and that's what I hate the most about him, He may do everything with me but, still be like it was all about me in the end.

Whoever, he wanted to share his secrets was none of my business maybe his heart trusted Regan more than me and that should be okay too. It had to be Okay!.

"What did Regan say?" Asked Damon gruffly after the kiss.

"What?" I had to ask because my mind were still stuck at the sweep of his tongue.

"You said Regan swung by to bring you food, What else?" Clarified Damon patiently.

"That I'm always pushing you on the edge of a knife" I replied casually before my eyes rose up to his.

"How am I doing that?" I asked him genuinely wanting to know.

"That makes the two of us" He said kissing my cheeks and nibble at my chin.

"Even you the alleged 'victim'?" I asked with a mocking laugh. Does he take me for a fool?.

"Believe me. I too am still wondering what he meant by that" He said going down to deal with my neck.

"... You know what? I'm gonna close my eyes and go to sleep now so, see you by the next sunrise. Hopefully" I said before turning to my side of the bed, switching off my side light, tucking myself in majestically before closing my eyes.

I didn't want to talk about it anymore. It would just kill my vibes and irritate me further to the point of getting wrinkles and who'd want to be so old while young and dazzling? Not me, that's for sure.

I wasn't far off from sleeping when I felt his hands around me, his lips kissing the back of my neck again lightly before he bit on the place hard making me gasp in pain but, nothing else though one could tell that I was enjoying the attention.

He went ahead and used his hands to familiarize himself with my body like he was a stranger to it. With every touch and every trail screams worship. I was hooked but, I had to show him that he can't always get what he wants.

"No sex for you tonight!" I told him firmly with my back still on his front.

"Umh" Hummed Damon as a reply before he went on with his assault.

"That's not really what I want though, if you're up for it it'll be a needed bonus" Mumbled Damon on my skin, tickling me.

"Then what do you really want?" I asked him before pulling him up.

"I want you to know my heart... That, though it's cliche and all but, I live for your joy. If you're mad at me like this I get restless, My mind goes hopeless, it's like I failed you and the dissapointment hurt me so much... I really can't sleep like this" Explained Damon with vulnerability in his eyes.

"... Then, come on and I'll rock you to sleep. How about that?" I offered patting on my chest.

"That's not..." He started shyly only to be interrupted by the rude me.

"Come on you big build of a foreign hunk!" I said pulling him to lay on my body, blanketing me with his head on my chest, hands on either side of my body.

"I love this" I said with a satisfied smile on my face, patting those muscles to sleep.

"I love you. I loved you then, now and forever if it's not just a myth" Declared Damon and boldly and even though I shrugged it off, we both knew I was thoroughly touched.