12. Ask

I wondered what Xander was up to.

It wasn't the first nor was it the fourteenth time I had done so. I just wanted time to fly by so I could  go and see him. Maybe have dinner and maybe finally get a kiss.

I hadn't spoken to him since our last phone call but I had sent him several emoji. I had sent him a red heart and he had sent it back in return. I had sent him a ghost emoji and he had simply sent boo. It was cute.

So cute.

Ryan was not in the office with me, he was helping the financial department with something, leaving me here to type up a new code for our server. We were trying to put up another firewall, to make it even more secure and impenetrable.

Once it was finally five. I had gotten up so excitably, packing up my stuff. I wondered if I could briefly stop at home so I could shower and change. Nah. I really wanted to see Xander.

Was it weird?

I had seen him last night and we've been talking for days now. Was it weird that I missed him whenever I wasn't near him?

Shit. What was wrong with me?

"You going to see lover boy tonight?" Ryan asked as he stepped into the office and I nodded. I waited and watched him pack up his stuff. When I had gotten back from dinner with Xander last night, I had tried to ask Ryan what was happening between him and J? If something could even happen but he hadn't given me a reply.

All I knew was that they had exchanged numbers.

Ryan had been glancing at this phone all day as if he was waiting for something. Was he waiting for a text back or for a call? Do I have to kick someone's butt?

I was tempted to bring it up again but I didn't want to see Ryan look shifty.

"I can always cancel and have dinner with you." I stated and Ryan shakes his head.

"This is the first time I have seen you this happy in years. Have fun with your mafia man and we'll do something tomorrow. Maybe go to that arcade on Arlington." Ryan said and I nodded, smiling wildly at him.  I loved that arcade and I also loved beating Ryan at all the games there.

We walked out of the building together, me clutching my coat and bag. The first cab that came our way, I made Ryan take it home and hopped on the next one, calling out Xander's address. I pulled out my airpods just as the ride began and listened to music.

Defenceless by Louis Tomlinson was the first song to come on and I hummed along, looking through the windows. The songs changed and I hummed long, sometimes mouthing the lyrics. Sure enough, a couple minutes later, the taxi pulled to a stop in front of large gates and I got out after paying.

I stood by the gates and pressed the bell. I wondered if I was the only one who uses the damn thing. I stood, looking down at my feet, music still playing through my airpods as I waited. I looked back up to look at the large house, it was looming in the background, big and wide, both flanked and hidden by trees.

The gates were so large and tall and they looked daunting. No one could climb them. 

Thankfully, I wasn't left standing for too long. This time it's a woman who comes forth, she was covered in black, every inch of her body covered by the black stretchy material, her black her pulled in a tight ponytail. She looked like she had stepped out of a comic book.

"Thank you." I told her once I was finally in. "I thought I would have to scale the gates."

"Then you'd be electrocuted." She said, like it was simple.

I gaped, my mouth opening and closing with nothing coming out. I had to pinch myself to snap back to reality and the first thing out of mouth was, "Then you'd have seen a life sized barbecue on the gates, you'd have to scape me off with a spatula like a burned patty."

The woman looked over at me, her eyebrows shot up. It takes, one, two, three beats and then she bursts into laughter. I smiled at her, not really knowing what to do. We walked over to the house and she was still chuckling to herself.

To my surprise, Xander was waiting for me at the door, he was standing with his hands in his pockets, his legs slightly spread apart. He exuded power and authority. I could feel and even see in from where I was, some steps behind.

Xander was in black sweatpants, dark blue tshirt with a tiny breast pocket. His hair wasn't styled as usual, it was falling over his face, and when I got closer, I realized they barely fell past his eyebrows. He looked so good. So... yummy.

"Hey." I said when I got close enough.

"Hello, Bram." He said. He takes his hands out of his pockets and held out his right hand to me. I smiled shyly as I slid my hand in his. Xander stared down at my hands before raising it up to his lips, pressing a kiss on my knuckles. I bit back a scream, only half successful as a tiny whimper came out escapes and my cheeks got so hot. "You look as gorgeous as always."

"Oh my god, Xander." I said, my voice coming off as soft, shaking just a little. "A little warning before you do that."

"Too much?"

"I think it was cute." The woman in black said with a shrug before walking into the house. Xander just chuckled, his gaze never leaving mine though. All this attention and I did not know what to do with it.

"Let's go in. Dinner is almost ready." Xander said, gently pulling me forward and into the house. Once I was inside, I could smell something incredible.

"What did you make?" I asked as we walked into the house, our hands still linked together.

"You'll have to see." Xander replied, looking so proud of himself. It made me wander what exactly was cooking. As we walked towards the kitchen, I wondered if Moy was somewhere in this house. There was no doubt in my mind he was alive, Xander had promised.

"Where is Moy?" I asked and Xander actually stopped. He looked over at me, his eyes studying me. He does not let go of my hand and instead stands in front of me.

"Can we talk after dinner?" Xander asked.

"Sure."

Dinner was stir fried rice, beef diced and mixed in the rice and turkey. It smelled so divine and taste so good too. Xander had served that with coleslaw and a cup of mango juice. We talked, Xander asking about my day and I told him as much.

"Mary from Accounting has moved on to taking my fruit salads now. First was my yogurt and now it's my fruits." I told Xander. "I didn't buy it already packed, I had to cut the fruit up myself and put it in a container. I even labelled it." I glared at my empty plate like it was Mary. When I look up, Xander was chuckling, his laughter breaking out when I glared at him in turn.

I huffed and got up from my chair, making my way over to the sink where I threw my plate in.

"You're mean." I said, trying my best not to pout.

"I am." Xander agreed and I smack his arm, huffing again.

"I have a serious problem and you keep laughing at me."

"It's not serious. Stop leaving your food in the fridge and your problem would be solved." Xander said and I smacked him again.

"That doesn't solve it, Xan." I said, the nickname slipping out. This was the second and judging by the way Xander's smile widened, he knew it too.

"I'll come up with a plan." Xander said and I nodded. That was what I wanted to hear and it better be good. I told Xander I had plans with Ryan tomorrow as he loaded up the dishwasher. After he had loaded everything and had turned it on, he led me back to the small set up of table and chairs.

"So, what did you want to talk about?" I asked.

He doesn't say anything for a beat and then, "You're taking this too well."

"What?"

"The crime family thing, Bram. I want to make sure you are okay with this before we move on. I want you, now and for a long time. I don't want this to be a fling or something short. I need to make sure you are aware of what and who I am."

I had a lot of questions to ask. I knew who he was. I know about the activities of the mob, I knew all these thing and I had even seen the fear in people's eyes from just me wearing a jacket with a wolf insignia on it. I knew all these things and yet...

I wanted Xander.

I didn't want anything short either. Not with him.  Not when he makes me feel this way. I knew it was dangerous and yet, whenever we text, talk or I see him, whenerver I so much as think of him, I felt safe. I felt happy.

Eighty percent of me is all in, ten percent of me wants to get up and run and the other ten percent just wants a sippy cup.

"I don't want something short either." were the first words that fell out of my mouth. "I have read about what the mafia does, I have watched movies but why don't you tell  me what your family is centered on. Is it drugs? Women trafficking or-"

"No! We are not and never have been involved in women trafficking or prostitution. No. The Lupo Clan do any order thing but that."

"But you are involved in illegal stuff."

All I got was a nod.

"Can you tell me?"

Xander stared at me again, staring as if calculating before he spoke. "Drugs, gambling, hijack, I have soldiers in labor unions, payoffs, shipping, loan sharking, smuggling, counterfeiting, extortion."

"Kidnapping and murder." I added, staring at him straight on, wondering if he was going to deny it or lie. Xander does not. He doesn't even shake his head yes or no. He just stared at me straight on. Despite hearing everything, I didn't want to leave. I still wanted him to kiss me.

Xander stands up from his chair and holds his hands out to me. Without hesitating, I put my hand in his and he leads me out of the kitchen, not saying a word. We made our way down the stairs, the walls turning darker the deeper we got. He finally gets to a door and pushed it open.

The walls of the room were a tan colour and there was only one door there. No sound coming from it. I made my way towards the door, curiosity nipping at me. When I got close enough, I pushed open the door and gasped at the sight before me.

Moy was lying on his side. His shirt was gone and his pants were sliced, there were different marks on his skin, his eyes were swollen, hell, the entire left side of his face was swollen. Dried blood on his arms, neck, chest and face. He opens his eyes when he hears my gasp and immediately stared crying.

His lips moved and it sounded like he was saying please.

He looked so pitiful and I just couldn't look at him anymore. I moved backwards and shut the door, turning to look at Xander. I walked closer and looked at his knuckles and then at his face.

"Let him go."

"Okay." Xander said. "Is that all you have to say?"

I took a deep breath before speaking. "I know you do this and honestly, Moy had this coming, he was a pervert who sexually harasses me at work and covers him up. I know you do a lot of other stuff, the drugs ans all the other things you mentioned but don't... don't tell me if I do not ask for it." I said.

"You have my word." Xander said.

"Thank you for telling me, for being sincere and telling me what you do. Thank you for dinner too." 

"Anything for you, kitten."

"Good. Okay, I need to drink at least two glasses of water." I said, sliding my hands into his. "Then you can take me home."