Insanity

Jakov's Pov

Alina sat bordering me, and her lips crashed onto mine. I was surprised by her, and I was reluctant to go on because she was a little drunk. Her hands are lying on my chest and neck, feeling so good on my skin.

"Alina?" I mumbled between the kisses.

"Uh, uh?" She muttered and kissed me on the neck, "Are you sure about this, taking it further? You have been drinking?" I replied, "Only one glass, I'm not drunk," She said, and I felt her hand around my neck. Alina's lips sought mine, and I replied to her kisses while putting my hands on her lower back. Shit. She was grinding on me, and I was about to explode.

She weakened my self-restraint with each kiss.

Alina's Pov

l don't know what got into me. But hearing Jakov speaks so highly of his family and take me into account made me overwhelmed. He seemed so passionate about it, and all I could think about was that I needed to feel close to him.

Alcohol was probably a small part of it, but I couldn't control myself by throwing myself at him. I was rolling down Jakov's lap, and he was panting like me now. I was breathless kissing him, and I was in shock as he kissed me and grabbed my ass.

I felt him, pressing hard on my vulva, and then it became clear to me where it was going... And I don't think I was ready for it.

"I'm sorry..." I murmured while I distanced myself from him.

I could see the disappointment flickering in his eyes as I did, making me feel like the worst person ever.

"I'm so sorry," I mumbled again and climbed out of the tub.

"No, Alina. Don't go away." Jakov pleaded, and I wrapped a towel around myself and turned to him.

Jakov's Pov

"I'm not enough for you." Alina whispers, "I don't know if I can ever give in to us."

"What are you scared of?" I responded and looked for clues in her face. She glanced at the ground, and I saw one tear fall from her eye, followed by many others.

"Please, Alina. You can talk to me about anything. I will not judge you, and I will always support you. I told you, I'm in this, 100%!" Alina took a couple of steps back.

"You will think that I am insane if I do!" cried Alina, and she ran away again.

I sighed and got out of the bathtub, and I ran after her.

I had a feeling I would be chasing after her a lot in the future.

I found her on the floor of the room, throwing her belongings in the bags.

"You're not leaving," I mumbled and knelt by her side.

"Leave me alone," she said, "I can't do that," I responded, and I saw how her whole posture changes in a heartbeat.

"Leave me, Jakov. Divorce me. I can never give you what you want." She screamed and threw a flask of perfume against the wall.

She winced when it shattered, and I could tell she had never done anything like that by her surprise look and terrifying glance in her eyes.

"Alina..."

"No. Stop. Don't talk. I can't listen to one more voice." She said, disoriented, and grabbed her hair and started pulling it while rocking back and forth.

I was confused. Alina seemed so lost and scared as though she was fighting something inside.

Something within me told me to leave her sitting there for a moment.

Thousands of thoughts were spinning in my mind, trying to understand it. I grabbed her hands and placed them on her knees, and her hair tufts curled around her fingers.

Her eyes were empty while her gaze was fixed on the wall ahead of her.

"I don't know what your struggle is, Alina. I have no idea what's going on with you. But I can tell you how much energy it takes. Your drowning, Alina. Please. Talk to me. Let me be there for you, and I will help you carry this." I spoke with a soft voice, hoping that she would extend her hand.

But she didn't answer, she didn't even show the slightest sign of hearing me, and I was worried. Something was wrong, and I was afraid she wasn't mentally okay.

Alina's Pov

I was exhausted and depleted. But I was scared as well. I was scared of voices because they spoke poorly to me.

They threatened me and mocked me.

I slowly attained insanity. It wasn't normal, and I was scared to talk to Jakov about it. He'd think of me like crazy and lock me up.

But perhaps it would be good because I was afraid of hurting him or someone else. Or even myself.

My eyes were locked on the wall, and I heard Jakov mumbling from afar. The voices were finally still for the moment. But I knew they'd come back at some point, pestering me. That constant back noise would never leave my side. They'd still be here.

I blinked repeatedly, and my body was too heavy to keep up. I felt Jakov grab onto me before I would fall and facing the floor.

"I got you," he mumbles, and I felt drowsy in a heavy sleep.

Jakov's Pov

I put Alina on the bed and remained close to her. I was worried about her wellness.

This was something bigger than being afraid to commit. Watching her pull her hair and the way she did, and how the anger came over her in a heartbeat was frightening.

This wasn't something I could fix. She would require professional help.