25

When I got up, my head hurt like I had taken a hammer to it and even blinking hurts. It's then I noticed I wasn't at home. I wasn't looking at the cream walls of my bedroom. I was looking at white walls. I looked down at the sheets and frowned.

They were so soft and they smelt like Hal.

Oh-

Oh god.

I tried to scramble out of the bed but I ended up tumbling to the ground and I was in a whole new world of pain. I was on the floor when the door to the room was pushed open and Hal stepped in. He had on just plaid pajama pants and he was holding a bottle of water and some medicine.

What do you say to a person who you threw up on and kinda want to break up with? I wanted the floor to open up an swallow me. I still laid on the ground and watched Hal place the water and the pills on the table.

Hal doesn't say a word. He simply slides a hand underneath my knees and another around my middle and lifts me up, placing me gently on the bed.

"H..."

"Drink, use the painkillers and we'll talk." He said and I don't even know how to place his tone. Was he angry? Or sad? Or mad? Well, judging by the tick in his jaw. I'm going with mad.

My ass was going to get it.

I did as he asked and he nods.

"I'm gonna use the toilet."

"I'll be in the kitchen. I made you breakfast." Hal said and I nod before getting off the bed. I almost ran into the bathroom. I pick my brush, squeeze out the paste and aggressively brush my teeth. I looked at myself in the mirror and sighed. How was I going to do this? What exactly would I should I say? How should I say this?

Fudge! It feels like my heart was going to beat right out of my chest. I just couldn't delay it anymore. I had to go back to living my life and Hal has to go back to his perfect world.

So yeah. I was going to do it!

While in there I also had a quick shower and since I had nothing to wear, I borrowed one of Hal's many graphic tees, and boxers. I folded my clothes neatly and held them as I walked out of the room. Immediately I stepped out of the room, I was hit with the smell of pancakes and something chocolatey.

In the kitchen Hal's back was to me as he took out something from the fridge. Silence between the two of us has always been comfortable but right then, I just wanted to run away from it.

Hal took out the carton of juice and placed it on the table.

"H..."

"We are going to talk but I'm going to need you to eat first."

"What about you? Have you eaten?" The words were out of my mouth before I could stop it. Fudge it! I wasn't meant to ask that. That just showed I care. Ugh. No. The last thing I wanted was to be the stain on Hal's metaphorical white suit.

Instead, I picked up the fork and one bite turns to two and before I knew it the four stacked pancakes were gone and so was half the carton of juice. Hal on the other hand just watched me.

It was quiet again.

Quiet.

I hated this silence.

"I want to break up with you." I said and Hal's eyes narrowed.

"Want to?" He asked and his voice was so much deeper.

"I'm breaking up with you." I said, really hating how shaky my voice sounded. Hal's anger seemed to be coming off little by little, I could see the vein in his neck becoming more prominent and I had the feeling to drop to my knees or like just lay myself over his lap.

"Why?" Hal asked.

"Because I want to." I replied, struggling to look him in the eye. I got off the stool and started making my way to the door, clothes all but forgotten. I was almost out of the kitchen when Hal grabs me by the arm and pulls me flush again him and I fight the urge to just lean and melt against him.

"You say one thing but you act a different way." Hal said and I struggle against his hold.

"Let me go, Hal." I said, a familiar stinging sensation behind my eyes.

"Not until we actually talk, Jesse." Hal said and I sighed. I didn't even notice I had already started crying until Hal wipes away my tear with his thumb.

"One of your ex-little paid me a visit yesterday. We had a nice chat and I realized all he was saying was true." I cried, shaking off his arm. I walked past him, wiping my tears as I did. "He said everything that I had been thinking already. He said everything I had been too scared to even think about." I said.

"Jesse yo-"

"I don't deserve you Hal. You take care of me, you give me a lot of things, time, care and attention and more. You deserve some who can give just as much, you deserve someone who can give you just as you do. You deserve everything. What do I have?!" I screamed! "Even getting that necklace cut deep into my savings. And I keep actually wondering if you actually like it? Then I started comparing what your ex would have gotten you. They wouldn't have gotten you something cheap or something like this."

"I told you that I loved the present! Besides my father, you're the only ever person who got me a present. With your own money because you wanted to get me something."

"Hal...." I gasped out. "Hal I'm poor. I barely scrape by. There was a time when I had to eat at a soup center for a month straight. Have you ever eaten at a soup kitchen?"

"I have."

"What?" I asked, so shocked and just stopped. Hal ran his fingers through his hair and pressed both hands onto the counter and sighed.

"I grew up with my dad and he was working two jobs to take care of I and my mother and after she left, my dad wasn't himself. It took him a year to get back together and I had to work twice as hard so I could get the rent paid so we had to got to the soup kitchen two streets over to eat."

"Hal..." I said and moved even closer to him.

"I worked hard to have everything I have. I worked hard so I could take care of my father. I have been a daddy Dom for a long time and I have given a lot and I have dated a few but you, Jesse, you are perfect."

I didn't even know what to say. I just wanted to hold him and I took a step closer.

"I have known you for a while, I'm sure you must have thought about what you were going to buy me. You must have thought about it before deciding on something you thought was perfect for me." Hal said. "I got a house for my father, I get him world tour ticket where he could stay for a week or two before making his way to the next country with a private guide. I give him everything and he also does the same. He still sends me pocket money." Hal said with a smile.

I could imagine Hal's face anytime he sees money from his dad. It's that little smile where he ducks his head a little.

"He does these little works, editing here and there and gets paid and he sends them to me no matter how many times I've told him he doesn't have to. I have given my littles my cards, they've spent my money and they give back you know but not like you. You do it because you want to, you do it from the bottom of your heart. You ask about my day and actually try to understand every thing I say and you are actually interested. You take me out on dates and you're friends with mine. You do things everyday that makes me fall more for you."

He stole my breath away with his words. He was falling for me. This wasn't just contract thing with feelings involved. We have moved past that because if I am being honest, I... I am falling for him too.

It's so easy to.

It's as easy as breathing. It's always the little things, you know. I moved closer to Hal, my hands on his chest. I slip my hands up Hal's chest and wound it around his neck, looking right at him.

"If you want to break up with me because you want to and not because an asshole told you to, then it's fine with me. Just know that I will try my very best to win you back."

"Hal..." I choked out.

"From the every first day I met you, I just knew. Our three months is up and I don't want a new contract, I just want everything with you."

"What if I want a contract?"

"Then you get a contract."

"If I want a lake house?"

"I will get you one on all continents."

I couldn't help the laugh that comes right out of me. "Everyone has insecurities." I started and Hal nods. "It just really freaked me out when your ex showed up and said all these things that I was having problems dealing with."

"We would work on it together. People have a lot to say but really you shouldn't listen to them. You should listen to what your heart wants and at a stretch what your friends wants. Not a stranger, not anybody."

"I will work on it."

"Together." Hal said, nudging my nose with his. "Together. Losing you is the worst thing that can happen to me. Last night scared me very much. If anything happens I need you to talk to me. Come to me and we will talk."

"I see that now."

"Good." Hal said, pressing a kiss to my nose. "Don't think you're going to escape my spanking. You've been a very bad boy those few hours ago." Hal said, wrapping his arms around my waist and pulling me even closer to him.

"I've also been thinking..."

"Tell me anything."

"I want to call you daddy in big space." I said, my voice coming off a low tone, almost like a whisper. Hal just grinned at me and I feel my cheeks go hot. I loved how comfortable Danny was with calling Jeff daddy in public and I just want to do the same too and I also wanted to call Hal daddy in big space.

Danny has explained how the mechanisms work, it's a different meaning in big space and another in little space.

And I wanted that.

"I cussed a bit too and I just want to get this off my chest before I get punished but fuck, I wanted to jam a bottle of red wine up your ex-littles asshole and pepper spray his fucking eyes." I said, scrunching up my nose to show how serious I was about it.

"He has been calling me and texting but I haven't picked up. I haven't even read the texts either and I didn't think he would ever walk up to you."

"You could block him?"

"I could but I haven't blocked anyone before." Hal said and I smile fondly. I slipped my fingers into his hair and played with it. Hal has his quirks and they were really adorable.

"We could do that."

"And I am going to make sure you never go through something like that again."

I moved even closer and tuck my face in Hal's neck as we hugged. I felt wonderful. I felt wonderful. I was so happy that we talked and It kinda felt like what I was worried about before was not even worth it. Falling for Hal is one of the best thing that has happened to me.

And soon,

one day,

I would be so sure and I certain and I would say those words I haven't said to any boyfriend or anyone really. Those three simple words.

I love you.