Haaave you met Ted?
The next morning, in Barney's apartment, the first rays of sunlight passed through the half-covered windows, illuminating the king-sized bed positioned at the center of the room.
"You know... I've been thinking," Barney spoke, his back leaning against the headboard, hands crossed behind his head, while Kate's head rested against his bare chest as she hugged him tightly.
"Yeah? That's never good," Kate giggled, turning her face to look at his.
"You are a great woman, and I really like what we have. I hadn't thought about it before, but...Hmm..... How do I say it... Why are you fine with it?" Barney said slightly awkwardly, immediately regretting opening his mouth.
'You get free, great sex with a beautiful woman and no strings attached... Why are you so insistent on ruining a good thing?!' If he were alone, he might have slapped himself to death, but after his moment of realization and enlightenment the previous night, Barney had too many questions swirling through his head that he couldn't seem to let go.
Questions that, for some reason, he had naturally ignored until now. While he might have obtained many answers from the system, numerous new ones arose, particularly regarding his experiences as a vampire. Most of these remained unanswered, at least for now.
However, there was one question he could answer: Kate. He had bitten her, annoyed her, and even had sex with others, and she was well aware of it all. Yet, for some reason, she had stayed with him for over a month. As far as he could tell, and he easily could with his enhanced sense of smell, she hadn't met or gotten close to any other man.
He had brought another girl home right in front of her eyes, and they ended up joking about it and having sex for a few hours without any argument. From his experience, such situations didn't exist, and he had nothing but questions about their relationship.
"Fine with what?" She asked in a half whisper, moving up towards his neck and giving it a soft kiss.
"..." Barney gave her a frustrated glance. "You know...Forget it..."
"I'm just kidding. I don't know," she said, pulling herself a little backward and looking at him for a few moments, seemingly contemplating her answer before finally shrugging her shoulders. "I guess because it feels good..."
"That's it?" Barney felt confused at her answer. He had been with many women in the past, some of whom indeed wanted to date him because the sex was good. But to keep an open relationship in which only he dated others... Wasn't that too much? Had he become that good?
"Yeah... I guess that's it..." Kate shrugged before leaving the bed, walking slowly towards the door, intentionally swaying her hips in a tempting manner.
"..." Barney, still sitting back in bed, gulped as he was slightly hypnotized by her exposed backside, covered only by thin, black, lace panties.
"I'm making breakfast before I leave... Do you want anything?" She asked as she left the room, heading towards the kitchen.
Meanwhile, Barney, realizing he was alone, smirked slightly, feeling proud of himself for some reason. Kate's words made him feel like he had won the Olympics or something. Standing up, he moved in less than a second through the living room, passing by Kate and entering the other room without making a sound.
Now inside another room, slightly smaller than his own, Barney smiled as he started running his finger over the walls of the room. The walls looked like a net of rectangles in various colors, from many in gray, black, and white to some that were even red, green, and silver.
He moved a few steps forward, caressing the different rectangles with the tips of his fingers until he stopped on a dark blue one decorated with a design of thin lines. Smiling, he pulled the side of it gently, revealing a suit with the pants folded inside the jacket.
Placing them on a single hanger by the entrance, Barney moved to the wall to the right, covered in suits. This one was a simple gray color, with lines of shelves hanging from top to bottom. Scanning the shirts for less than a second, Barney picked a maroon silk tie and a clean button-up shirt.
Moments later, he left the room, fixing his tie on his neck with a smile as he looked at Kate, who had just finished making her eggs. He took a seat at the small table placed at the center of the kitchen.
Taking a seat beside her, Barney moved a strand of hair that was falling over her face and tucked it behind her ear, revealing her small but radiant smile. Leaning in, Barney kissed her cheek, causing her to let out a small laugh.
"I need to eat and get to work; Esposito said he had some new leads about that guy we have been chasing," she said, putting a spoonful of egg and salad in her mouth, her tone turning much less playful.
Smiling back at her, Barney leaned in again, this time kissing her neck slowly. "I need to eat too, you know..." He whispered seductively into her ear, making her cheeks turn red.
"Fine... But do it on the shoulder..." She whispered, making Barney's smile widen as he gave her a slight nod.
Moving the straps of the top she was wearing to the side, Barney revealed Kate's beautiful skin, giving her kisses down her neck. He finally reached her shoulder, and with a smile, his upper canines suddenly turned into a pair of long fangs as he bit softly into her shoulder, causing a loud moan to escape Kate's mouth.
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A few hours later, sitting in his office, Barney looked out the window as he repeatedly threw and caught a baseball with his right hand. The sun outside was just disappearing behind the buildings when Barney's phone suddenly rang.
Seeing the caller ID, Barney let the ball fall to the ground as he disappeared from his former place and reappeared, standing in front of the large window. Answering the call, he spoke with a grin.
"Hi! So, you know how I always had a thing for half-Asian girls? Well, now I got a new favorite... Native American girls! Indian girls are the new half-Asians." He slightly nodded to himself, looking at a beautiful, young, olive-skinned woman with curly dark hair, wearing a long-sleeved dark-blue dress that clung tightly to her body. She was at least a nine, maybe even a ten.
He watched her typing something into a computer through the window of the building closest to his own. With his enhanced sense of sight, he could now see through those windows as if they were just a few meters away from him. And as he didn't actually have any work to do, he spent his time doing random stuff, and among those things was watching his neighbors.
On the other end of the call, Ted furthered the phone away from his ear, rolling his eyes, before he just spoke.
"Hey, so you wanna do something tonight?" He asked, sounding as if he was already expecting the answer.
Thinking for only a moment, Barney took another glance at the young woman, before he nodded to himself.
"Ok, meet in the Bar in thirty minutes... And suit-up!" He said as he hanged the phone and with a punch, broke the window, leaving a note that he had prepared a few weeks back, when he just got his powers, laying on the desk, he jumped out of the window, plummeting into the busy street below.
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Thirty minutes later, at MacLaren's pub, Ted stood by the bar wearing a brown tweed jacket and a pair of jeans. Taking sips from a beer bottle, he conversed with the bartender, tagged as 'Carl,' who was engrossed in the game playing on a TV hanging in the pub's corner.
As Ted took another sip, the bar door swung open, and a tall, blonde young man in an expensive-looking blue suit walked in. Under his left arm, accompanied by a similarly blue dress, was a young woman with olive-colored skin. She giggled and playfully punched Barney's arm.
"Where is your suit?!" Barney, walking towards Ted with the same woman he had watched thirty minutes ago, frowned upon seeing Ted in his usual attire. He exclaimed with frustration, "At least once, when I say suit-up, I wish you would put on a suit! Just last week, you promised you would!"
"Hi, I'm Ted." Ignoring Barney's words, Ted looked at the young woman and introduced himself, extending his hand for a handshake.
"Nice to meet you, I'm Aylin." The woman shook his hand with a smile, turning towards Barney, "I have to go to the restroom, I'll be right back."
Watching Aylin disappear into the restroom, Ted turned back to Barney with a judging glance.
"Nice girl... What lie did you tell her?" Ted looked at Barney suspiciously, sarcasm dripping from his voice.
Barney, now scanning the bar, turned to Ted with a hurt expression, as if insulted by the accusations.
"I just met her on the way here, and I never lied to her. You are free to ask her if you don't believe me," Barney spoke righteously, and indeed, he was telling the truth. He only used his hypnosis skill a little to make her more carefree.
Other than that, he just went up to her(to her office on the 24th floor), told her that he noticed her from a far(from his office window), and asked if she would grab a drink with him to which she agreed. He was, after all, super handsome, looked, and was, super rich, and he had already compelled all the inhibitions out of her, but no lie was involved...
"Suuuuure... Anyway, you know, ever since college it's been Marshal and Lily and me. Now it's gonna be Marshal and Lily, and me. They will get married, start a family... Before long, I'm that weird middle-aged bachelor their kids call 'Uncle Ted.'" Ted's face squinted a little as he looked at Barney in clear frustration.
Frowning at Ted's words, Barney gazed at him as if seeing an alien and lightly slapped the back of Ted's head.
"Have you forgotten what I told you the night we met?! No getting married before you're thirty!" Barney demanded.
"Thirty. Right. You're right. I guess it's just when your best friend gets married, you start thinking about that stuff..." Ted nodded in agreement, taking a sip from his beer.
"Ted! I thought I was your best friend! Ted, say I'm your best friend!" Offended by Ted referring to Marshal as his best friend, Barney looked straight into his friend's eyes with disappointment and demanded like a child.
"You are my best friend, Barney," Ted said, not very convincingly, but he still got a smile from Barney.
"Great. Now, as your best friend, I say we play a little game I like to call: 'Have you met Ted?'" Turning to his side to look at the bar, Barney spotted a woman sitting right behind Ted.
Ignoring his friend's desperate attempts to stop him, Barney touched the woman's shoulder, drawing her attention. With a bright smile, he pointed at Ted suggestively with his finger and asked as he walked away...
"Haaaave you met Ted?"
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I had a few things I wasn't really sure about, just know that the the plot of this fanfic will deviate further the longer the story lasts, so other than some very, very iconic Barney moments and events, most of the plot is going to change... Let me know what you like more and what less so I can learn and make the story better in the future.(I Just want to hear some opinions for self confliction, I won't take what I disagree with, and won't make it a discussion.)
VOTE and give me some POWER STONES if you like the story so far
Reminding, If you want you can suggest characters and Anti-hero names for Barney in the comments, I have noted a few that you shared and will make it clear that Barney will be wearing a suit and a mask that covers only his eyes, in a combination of black and white, or only black. I will decide once i decide on the name.
Also leave a COMMENT if you don't understand something, or have any other idea, I promise I read every comment related to my story, won't address toxic people though..
Also If you want you can give a try to my other fanfics:
HP: Lost Legacies of Magic (Adventure,...)
TVD: The Seventh Original (No-Harem, Action, Dark,...) For now still just a concept