Part LXXIII

Holding firmly unto the sheets, my heart boils with anger and hurt as my eyes glare spikes at his cowering image on the bed.

"What's this?" I ask with venom in my voice and he smiles nervously, trying to pry his eyes away from my legs but failing, obviously shaking with fear.

"Sean!" I yell, not making any attempt in covering or hiding my scars.

"If you're so scared of it, you could as well cut off my legs and feed it to the damn sharks!" I yell and he finally looks at me, hurt but still scared. "You disgust me."

"Crystal." He says lowly with a really pained voice.

"Yeah?" I cover my breasts with the blanket beside me, "do I not disgust you? I do, right? It's only fair that you disgust me too!"

"You do not disgust me Crystal."

"My scars do?"

"No, you don't understand."

"Then make me!" I yell frustrated, "I've asked you tons of times to tell me what this scar means to you yet you keep silent. You keep hiding things and telling me I do not understand. How the fuck am I supposed to understand if you keep me in the dark all the damn time!. This was exactly what Dylan kept saying until he freaking transformed into a werewolf kinda creature and tried to attack me!. This was the same thing he kept saying until his demented psychopath father tried to kill me!. I was kept in the dark all along until he stabbed me and then I went to some weird place to meet Betty and on my way here, you captured me, messed with me and made me kill them both!!. I'm sick and tired of being kept in the dark all the time. It makes me feel constrained, restrained, confined at times!. I'm literally living in a world I know nothing of and now I have supposed powers that even you know nothing of. I don't even_"

"Stop!" He cuts me off loudly, stands up from the bed and begins pacing back and forth, "Okay just stop!. I'll tell you!. Some things are just not so easy to say, you have to understand that."

"What could possibly be so hard for you, Sean, to say? You're the most powerful in this kingdom, how can you find anything hard to say?".

"Crystal." He stops walking and looks at me with eyes that hold so much pain, "don't make it any harder."

My anger immediately dissipates and fades into worry, my curiosity getting even thicker but a little fear appears at the back of my head telling me I'm not ready for whatever cat he's about to let out of the bag. He takes my silence as a cue for him to begin as he sighs and runs his fingers in his hair, sitting at the edge of the bed.

"That scar." He starts and sighs loudly, obviously fighting some inner battle and I scoot closer to him and rub his hand to give what little encouragement I can. I can feel his sadness and grief, it's so great I almost want to tell him not to bother anymore but I can't do that. I've come this close and I won't lose this chance, I have to know.

"I lost my father from a very young age, according to human calculation I was ten." He starts over again and I listen heedfully. "Before then my mom was to be queen and because he was really ill, her parents were against their marriage but she got married to him anyways. She loved him more than I've ever seen any one love before and even though she brought me into this world, I never deserved that love." He takes a pause and sighs while I just stare blankly, trying to figure out where this story is heading.

"Years after she bore me, his sickness grew worse and he could never rule so she ruled alone, went to battles alone and did everything herself while I stayed home and took care of him. I was really good at it, did my best for a little kid who was never shown love and one day, when it was time for his nap, he took it but didn't wake up the time he was supposed to. I tried to wake him up but he didn't respond and then I panicked. I was ten, dumb and stupid without love or care, had no friends or family, I had no idea what the right thing to do was so I tried to inflict pain on him hoping that'd wake him up. Hit him with my hands, didn't work. Hit him with a bat, didn't work. Cut him with a knife, still didn't work and unluckily for me, that was when she came in. Terrified by the gruesome sight of her beloved husband laying lifeless on the bed and her son kneeling by him with a bloodied knife in his hand and a bloodied bat on the ground, she lost it."

His voice breaks and that's when I realise a tear already escaped from my own eyes. His voice holds so much pain and he looks really broken, not the fearless and happy Sean I've come to know. I've always seen the broken man in his eyes but I never thought he'd ever come out to me.

"She blamed me for his death and no amount of times I try to say the truth did she believe." He continues. "Although, she told no one that I killed him, I was a murderer in her eyes. I murdered the love of her life and from that day on, she showed me every form of pain there is. In a little room she kept me, like a worthless prisoner. Barely got anything to eat or to drink, could only guess the time through the tiny window in the tiny room. It was hell, for so many years I was tortured physically, emotionally, mentally by my own mother."

He stops and I hug him tightly, trying to console him and myself. I can't start to imagine what he must have been through, now I understand his nightmares but I still don't understand why he's so scared of my scar.

"I knew whenever she was coming because on her way to my cell, she'd keep repeating a sentence in a cheery singsong voice. I knew whenever I heard her voice that she was close by and I'd cry, wail, try to run away from her but eventually she'd come in and that sentence would be the first thing she'd say to me." He pauses and pulls away from the hug so he could see my face. "She always said 'play with me.""