Grieving Qin Household

[ Chapter 36 ]

The dark sky above was covered by the gray clouds. Thunder rumbled from above, accompanied by the howling wind, as the gloomy rain poured over Imperial. It's as if the entire universe was mourning with sorrow, crying for another loss that befallen Qin Household.

Standing tall inside the private ward by the corner, at times tilting it back, with his head leaned against the wall was a brawny, broad-shouldered man dressed in a blue military suit. His lids closed, muscular arms folded in his chest and his well-defined face was layered by restless visage.

Times seemed to stand still as Darren Qin opened his dispirited eyes, only to be greeted by the saddening sight surrounding him and was reminded what a nightmare they have been through. He let out another sigh with sadness, as he eyed his mother, Raeliana Qin through his pained eyes.

His mother had always been a picture of grace and beauty. Her well-maintained appearance and healthy figure in no way resembled the mid-fifties woman she actually was as she had always known and praised for her youthful grace.

Raeliana Qin, along with most Qin women, was genetically blessed with the deadly combination of exquisite features and feminine grace. Qin women were known and envied for their distinctive gorgeous allure, the highest benchmark of femininity.

But now, that strong and spirited mother he knew was nowhere to be found. Her once always radiant smile had been gone, and her bright hazel eyes looked dimmer. The smiling lines around her eyes were now more evident, and wrinkles on her forehead were seemingly deeper.

She seemed to have aged a lot and she seemed to have lost a couple of pounds as well. She looked exhausted and wounded, mentally tortured. She had always prided herself on being composed and self-possession in every situation, never had he seen her in such a fragile state.

It felt like something pierced his heart as he looked at his mother with concern. She looked like she's barely holding on the last thread of her sanity, as she couldn't allow herself to fall, she had to stay strong for her daughter.

Darren squeezed his eyes close, already yearning in the remembrance of the contented life they once had. He had no idea how everything changed in such a short period of time. He had never felt this powerless and helpless in his twenty nine years of life.

It's just three weeks ago that everything was great, and a lot has changed since then. Everything changed for the worse. He couldn't believe how life could be this cruel to his sister. He opened his eyes again, watching the grief in his mother's eyes.

She seemed to find it hard to register everything that happened, as one after another shocks crumbled her world. She's devastated, as before she could even accept the truth of losing a man she loved for more than ten years as her own second son, another loss crushing her already shattered world.

His mother was crying, as she sought strength in the cold embrace of her husband. His father was no different, as tears rivered his dimmed greyish eyes. It's also agonizing to witness his always strong and hard-hearted father succumbed to such a vulnerable state.

The raindrops splashed on the window pane behind them, oblivious to their anguished hearts. As they grieved in each other arms, a fresh torrent of sobs wetted his father's shirt like a wave in the ocean forming on his chest. The pitter patter of the each raindrop echoed off the items that filled the room.

Darren clenched his jaw and fisted his palms, fighting the tears that formed in his eyes. His heart shattered, he hated himself, he wished to take all the pain and sorrow his sister was experiencing. His youngest sister he doted on and cherished. The pain of watching his recently widowed sister was heart wrenching.

He pulled his gaze off his grieving parents, looking at their side. There his third and youngest sibling, Cassandra was laying on the bed, unconscious, with an oxygen mask on her delicate face, IV drips attached to her left hand.

Patient monitor and other medical instruments attached to her to monitor her condition. Other than the sound of the dark rain outside, the crying of his parents and the beep sound coming from one machine, the room was surrounded by the dead silence.

He watched his sister with intense sadness. She looked so weak and fragile that he wished to hold her in his arms without letting her go. Her exquisite, beautiful face was clouded with calvary as her eyes closed. Her fair skin was paler than it already was and she lost her ideal weight.

"Why?" His mother cried out a question none could answer, weak voice was laced with sorrow and a torrent of tears rolled down from her eyes. "Why did it happen to my daughter? She's suffered yet again. She doesn't deserve any of this."

"Evan, what have I done that my daughter has to go through all of this?" He could see his mother looking at her husband through her teary eyes. Her breath halted, "Our daughter was hurt enough. I'm afraid she's not strong enough to face this loss. Dear, my heart couldn't take it watching our daughter, I would rather knife my own heart than to watch her hurt."

"Please don't." His father tried his best to hold his own sanity, it must be hard for him having to watch both his wife and daughter in such devastating shapes. Cassandra was his child he cherished and spoiled most since she's the youngest.

"She needs you. Her mother. You have to be strong for her. We've to stay by her side. Please dear, get a hold of yourself. Everything would be all right." His father assured his wife with soothing syllables as he held her tight, wanting to give her strength to sail through this ocean of hell.

It sounded to him that it's more like his father tried to assure himself as he knew his father was equally suffering from all what happened, yet he had stayed strong being an indomitable pillar for his family. There's nothing more agonizing for a man than to watch his daughter's suffering.

Darren could only watch his sister with his eyes tight and mouth shut as he had to nurse his own pain in silence. He's an outstanding, accomplished, youngest colonel of Huaxian Air Force. He's used to getting everything in his way. Yet here there's nothing he could do about when his sister needed him most, what a useless brother he was.

The time rolled past as he drowned himself in self-blame. Countless of what ifs resounded in his head as kept blaming himself. He should have seen it coming before everything reached this stage. He knew blaming himself wouldn't be any help but that's how helpless he's now.

Inhaling a long breath, Darren reached to the window side as he stared at the dark neverending horizon. He looked back to when everything was shattered. It's been more than a week since Nicholas Song, his brother in law's funeral, yet the scars and wounds they felt would never fade.

Ever since then, his sister has never been the same person he knew. He knew how badly Cassandra loved Nicholas as they had been together for more than ten years. He's her world and everything. They're all everyone called a perfect match, destined together, betrothed to each other since they're small.

He knew when you lose someone as close as Nicholas to Cassandra, part of you died with them. There's little to nothing he could do about it. She mourned but he hoped time could heal her shattered heart. He wished there's something he could do to mend her broken heart.

However, it's never been only about Cassandra losing her other half. Nicholas was much more than that. It's all about him and Catherine losing their best friend and sworn brother. His father lost his second son and his mother lost someone she dearly loved like her own blood and flesh.

They're all losing someone dear to them, but nonetheless, the one who suffered most from this ordeal is Aveline. His innocent four years old niece had to grow up without her father by her side. His sweet and cheerful Aveline failed to handle the psychological trauma when she came to know her father would never be coming home.

Both mother and daughter found it hard to cope with the extreme sadness of losing Nicholas. As it wasn't enough, it's even more difficult for Aveline as she had to see her own mother was slowly withering without the will of life since the passing of her father.

As painful as it's to see, they decided to take little Aveline away from her grieving mother or else, she wouldn't be able to handle seeing the lifeless state of Cassandra. Deep down he wanted to get angry at Cassandra as she failed to hold herself, gravely affecting Aveline's mental health in the process.

That's why here there's no sight of Catherine, Cassandra's older sister and Samantha, his wife, as they have to nurse and take care of Aveline's well-being. It's better for Aveline to stay away from Cassandra, at least until the latter is capable of facing her daughter without hurting her.

"It's my fault." He heard his mother lamented, as her short-breathing sobs mingled with the downpour of rainfall. "I should've known about her pregnancy, I should've taken care of her better. It's too late now. God. What a failed mother I've been. I couldn't—"

His father stopped his mother by holding his hand on the back of her nape, gently burying her face against his warm chest. "Breath love. Breath." He soothed his stammering wife by caressing her smooth blond hair with gentleness.

"Please do not blame yourself. We're equally at fault. I'm all but a failed father as well. Please. We could through this. Be strong Liana, for our daughter, she needs you." His father spoke low. "We could think of anything later but for now, we should be concerning about her health and recovery."

It's a couple of seconds later when his mother calmed herself. "I'm sorry." She said weakly, whispering. "Life is too unfair for her. I couldn't imagine her life would be, she's too young to be a widow. Hasn't she already suffered enough? Why take her child too? We have just lost our grandchild."

His father could only sigh and closed his eyes in response as he kept embracing the woman he devoted his entire being to. Both of them then fell into complete silence as they sought heal in each other's arms.

"Don't lose faith. Everything happened for a reason. We love her dearly but God loves her more. She would be all right love." His father stated, as he began to regain a hold of himself, he seemed to know that it wasn't the time to show any weakness as his wife and daughter needed him to be their indomitable pillar.

Darren turned around and sighed, looking at the fragile form of Cassandra. He thought back to when he's informed that Cassandra was found collapsed in her bedroom and was immediately brought to hospital. In no time, he had to take days off from his military duty and flew back to Imperial.

He still remembered how gravely shaken and devastated his and his parents' expression were when the doctor and sonographer informed them that Cassandra had a miscarriage. They're blown by the revelation as they didn't even know that she's pregnant.

Long story short, it turned out that Cassandra was barely four weeks pregnant and from the way it went, she didn't even know about it. The intense grief and sorrow had made her health deteriorate.

Her phycological health was overwhelmed by high level depression and distress, causing both her mental and physical health to worsen as the time went by and in result, indirectly with all other variables, she had a missed miscarriage.

He couldn't imagine what torture she have went through her pregnancy with the passing of her husband. Even with the complete support of her family as she's being taken care of by all her family, everyone still failed to detect her pregnancy symptoms. The doctor further explained why she didn't show any of the symptoms was due to the high amount of distress she had.

Howbeit as painful as it's to be known, the miscarriage wasn't the worst thing that's happening. Just right when the obstetrician had finished her examination concerning Cassandra's miscarriage to detect any further complications.

As if the nightmare they have been going through wasn't enough, his mother was hysterical right before she fainted on the spot when she's told there's a high chance almost 99% that her daughter has lost her ability to conceive.

In most cases, a miscarriage was unlikely to create issues with uterus or any of female reproduction organs that will will impact fertility. However in some rare and very unfortunate cases, some women become infertile after experiencing miscarriages.

Darren couldn't remember everything the obstetrician had explained about the medical explanation as he's hyperventilating and felt like someone had ruthlessly ripped his heart out when he's told that the chances for Cassandra to get pregnant again is very low and likely not to happen.