39

Emelita Sun Dela Peña kilala rin sa tawag na EM. Nakilala at sumikat sa Los Angeles. Oo, ako nga 'yon. Maraming naiinggit, maraming humahanga, maraming humahabol, maraming nagtataka.

Oo, maraming nagtataka kung bakit ako naging sikat sa buong mundo. Mostly my former classmates here in the Philippines were also asking me how did I become popular.

Marami ding mga tao ang napapansin ko na kapag ang isang tao ay naaabot na ang pangarap na matagal nang inaaasam ay doon na lumalapit sa kanila ang ibang tao. I wonder kung gusto lang ba nilang mapalapit sa'kin samantalang noong una ay panay ang bulong at husga sa'kin. Nagtataka din ako na baka gusto lang nilang mapalapit para maging sikat din sila. Ganun naman talaga iyon 'di ba? Napapansin ko nga yung mga schoolmate ko noon na nagpapanggap lang na mabait at palakaibigan sa'kin ngayon.

Well, I don't tolerate people like that, hindi ako magpapadala. Natuto na ako kung ano ang masama at hindi masama. I've learned before that I shouldn't have tolerated those people who were cunning and manipulative. Ibang-iba na ako ngayon. Hindi na ako katulad noon na mahina at palaiyak.

Every year, for what I have been through, I've learned that I shouldn't have focus my attention on something that it wasn't important and was full of immaturity in it.

I wasn't fully grown when I fell in love with John. Hindi ako nag-iisip na nakakasira na pala ako ng relasyon. Hindi ko inisip ang kasiyahan ng ibang tao but somehow, I chose what was best for him, I chose what was best for us. Naglalaro lang kami ng nararamdaman namin—o baka s'ya lang sa amin ang naglalaro?

Para lamang kaming nasa ferris wheel noon, pero nasa iba't ibang capsule o upuan. One of us would go down to hell and the one would bring up to heaven. Although heaven is not what you think it is. 'Heaven' doesn't mean that we were happy when one of us finally reached that level but heaven is the term for us that we needed some space or we needed to freshen up because it was so hard as hell. And 'hell' was the term for us that we need to conquer those feelings and we need to think about the wall between us. Hindi namin maabot ang isa't isa. It was getting more and more complicated to reach him out. Ngunit ang tanong, lumaban ba s'ya para sa'kin? Para sa'min?

Sa isang pangungusap, ang layo-layo n'yang abutin kahit nasa harapan ko na s'ya. Kahit malapit lang s'ya.

But after 6 years and at the age of 26, when we met again, it was like a roller coaster ride, it would drive you crazy. The long path was getting more deteriorative and terrifying.

Should I let him in again? Natatakot ako na baka saktan na naman n'ya ako. Pero ang puso ko ang nagsasabing kailangan kong subukan.