Chapter 26

ALESSIA

I'm driving down the road. All I can think about is what if I'm pregnant? What am I going to do? I can't exactly run the Jess, she is his sister. Would she push me to tell him? Would she keep my secret? I'm not ready for him to know.

Of course this is not something I plan on keeping from him forever. I wouldn't do that. This would be his child too. Regardless of how he's treated me, my child wouldn't be used as a tool against him.

What if he doesn't want a child with me? He rejected me but wanted to sneak around. I rejected him in return. What if I tell him I'm pregnant and he rejects our child too?

Wait a minute, I'm getting ahead of myself. I don't even know if I'm actually pregnant. I'm driving myself crazy possibly for nothing. It could just be stress.

After Jonathan's death, my period was jacked up for a while due to the stress, maybe that's it. I really hope it is because this would complicate everything so much more.

Before I know it, I'm parked outside the drug store. I can't bring myself to get out of the car. When I was pregnant last time, I had Jess with me through the whole process. No matter how much I want to call her right now to come, I can't. She has been stressed too and she doesn't need this.

Come on Alessia, put your big girl panties on and let's do this. I got out. Slowly I walked inside. I feel paranoid like I'm doing something I'm not suppose to. My palms are sweating, my heart is racing. I get to the isle that has the tests. God there are so many. Which ones do I grab?

I keep bringing myself back to the last time. All the emotions I went through. I feel like I'm on an emotional roller coaster. What if Jonathan never got into that accident, we could be doing this together again.  I loved him so much. I miss him. Things weren't this messy when we were together. Yes his parents didn't approve but we were able to get away from them. Right now I can't run.

I closed my eyes and picked three random boxes. I look down. I picked one digital and two old fashion with the lines.

There are people in the store. What if they know Jaxson? What if they tell him? Really, not everyone knows we had sex. Stop it!

I get to the register and put the boxes on the counter. The young boy just looks at me. I gave him a weak smile. He rung it up and put it in a bag. I swiped my card and quickly walked out.

I pulled out my phone, now I have to find a nice hotel to stay in. Googling it, I find one not too far away.  I head to it.

Pulling in, I grab my over sized purse that has my necessities in it and head to check in. Getting it, I head to the elevator and go to the 10th floor. This hotel is really nice.

Looking at the packet they gave me, they have a lot to offer. I'm definitely going to have to come here with Jessica one day to treat ourselves.

Snapping a picture of it, I quickly send her a text.

A- next time it's you and me. We are going all out.

J- definitely. Enjoy your night. Oh and by the way, Jax is pissed. Mission accomplished

A- I will

The elevator stopped and I got out. I get to my room. I grab my pajamas and the bag and head to the bathroom. Striping out of my dress and changing. I sit and pee on all three sticks placing them on the counter. I'm shaking.

Walking back in the room, I grab my phone and put the timer on. I laid all my stuff out on the bed. The timer went off.

Taking a deep breath, it seems like I do that a lot lately. My anxiety has been off the charts. I go back to the bathroom and look. All the three test read pregnant.  Oh my god, I'm going to have another baby.  I'm stuck standing there in shock.

I reach down and rub my stomach. Instantly I'm in love. Regardless of what happens, this is my child. I will give it so much love. The same love I gave Alena. Earlier today, I was watching everyone interact with Alena. They truly loved her. This baby will experience that too.

Getting in bed, my phone rings. It's Jaxson. I didn't answer it. He called again.  "Hello? How can I help you? I'm busy so can you please get to the point." I said. "Where are you?" He asked. Oh I don't think so. "No Jaxson, you don't get to do this. It's none of your business." I snapped back. I'm trying to stay calm. "Please don't do this. Come home. It's driving me crazy. My wolf wants out. I need to know where you are?" He sounded desperate. "Well I'm sorry but you lost that right when you threw me away. You didn't want me so I have to move on." I said. I'm trying to hold it together but my eyes are tearing up. I hate hearing him sound like that.  "I know but it's never been about not wanting you. I've always wanted you. That's why I can't stop acting like this. You know it's com..." I cut him off. "Yeah yeah, I know. You don't have to keep saying it. Look you made your choice, it is what it is. Regardless of what happens, either you mark or marry her, I'll always love you. Being with you felt special and nobody can take that away. I'm sorry but I have to go." I said and hung up the phone.

I burst into tears. I did it. I put my feelings out there just to get crushed. I wanted to crawl in a hole and never come out but I can't. I have to move on. I have no choice. I have 2 children to take care of. They need me.

I sat up, shook my head. That's enough. I'm done crying. I put a movie on, ordered room service, chocolate chip cookie dough ice cream and got to work.

I pulled out my phone, took a couple pictures and sent to Jessica. She replied back that she was jealous with a wink emoji.

Micah sent me a text with a heart. I debated in responding. I decided to send him him a wink emoji. I'm gonna have to talk to him eventually. I have to cancel my training sessions now but I need to come up with an excuse because I won't  be telling him. At least not before I tell Jaxson.

The next morning I woke up. It took me a second to realize where I was. Immediately remembering, my hand went to my stomach. I smiled. Everything is going to be ok.

My stomach didn't feel all that great. That's one thing I didn't miss about being pregnant. I ordered a light breakfast and finished up all my projects for work. I emailed everything to my boss. I called him to tell him. He was amazed I finished so quickly.

After going over the documents, he was very pleased.

Now it's time to relax. I went down stairs and got a massage, acupuncture to help with the nausea, manicure and pedicure. I feel a lot better.

I grabbed my tablet and made my way to the indoor pool.  When I got down there. I took some pictures and sent them to Jessica.

"Oh you bitch, I'm so jealous!"  She responded. "Well come on, I'm waiting for you!"  I sent her the info. "We are on our way!"

About an hour later, Emily, Jessica and Alena walk in to the pool area dressed in their bathing suits looking sexy as hell.

We spent the rest of the afternoon hanging out having fun. They left and I went back to my room to pack all my stuff. Time to face reality.