106

  106

  I feel suffocated, like a huge elephant had sat on my chest and had refused to move an inch away from it. I can't breathe. No matter how much deep breathes I take it doesn't go away. The elephant still sits comfortably on my chest. So I burst into a fit of speed, reaching the arcade in less than three seconds, and yet, yet the elephant does not move away. I don't know what to do. I can't see Seth when my mind was this muddled, but I can't keep him waiting either, he was excited about this day like I was, he did not burn down venom or the kind lady's children, I did, he did not have to suffer for my sins. I have to, I will find some other way to punish myself and pay for what I have done, even if nothing I ever do will be enough, but I will not let him suffer.

  I run round the block one more time, just to allow my self breathe easy for a while. Just so the elephant eases from my chest for a second.