The Rising Action: Homugi

Homugi was at a loss for words. Everyone seemed to be except Meioshi. She had so much more to say to Sesshomaru, but she left him and Jaken standing there frozen. Being disrespectful around her children was one thing. Though he didn't formally apologize to her about that, he did make an effort to be nicer around them and acted as a chaperone in brief moments. She accepted that as his indirect way of apologizing, but he crossed the line on this. In her line of work, she'd seen men do this to women for some years. She thought Sesshomaru had the decency to show respect to others, but his sense of honor was practically nonexistent, and she had the nerve to call him a good other back at the ravine. Whatever his purpose was supposed to be in her life, Meioshi no longer accepted it. This was an outrage!

The doctor was pulling Homugi's arm to guide her to the campsite but wasn't pulling hard enough to cause damage or pain. As angry as she was, she had the gentleness of a caring sister leading her sibling away from bullies. Homugi wanted to pull her hand out of Meioshi's and walk back to Okakura's tower alone, but everything in her was telling her to simply stay with the human woman. No one was permitted to strike at the son of the Inu no Taisho unless the man himself said so, and he never said it could be done by anyone other than his teacher or mother. It was a forbidden act worthy of the penalty of death, yet this one human was crazy or foolish enough to go against a golden rule. What was the most shocking was that Sesshomaru himself didn't try to kill her. He let her walk! The blue merle beauty didn't quite understand the doctor's need to defend her, though. They were complete strangers and she was a suspect in her investigation! What was Sesshomaru's real relationship with this girl?

Within a few moments, the girls made it to a fairly nice setup with the view of the lagoon. There were three rooftops made of tropical plant leaves and other material strung together to form sturdy structures to shield the camp from rain. The largest roof had a stone firepit in the center and seating pillows around it. Small tables were in front of the seating pillows instead of mats, so it had to be the dining or lounging area. Tea was being made over the fire now. It smelled sweet and soothing. Dinner must've started before Homugi confronted Meioshi because the pot was on low flame just to warm the contents. Whatever it was, it smelled delicious. The medium-sized roof was more rectangular in structure and had thick cloth hanging from three sides. Pillows and sleeping mats were actually arranged underneath, so that had to be where the doctor planned to sleep. The smallest roof seemed to just be housing tools and equipment, so it had to be a form of storage area. It was profoundly organized for a camping site.

Meioshi released Homugi's hand and started preparing a place to eat and sleep for her. This finally gave the blue merle beauty a chance to speak up and understand who her enemy truly was. She questioned, "Hey! What are you doing? I already have a place to stay!"

"You've been crying for a while now," Meioshi said without looking at her. She poured her nabe into a green bowl and poured tea into a smaller cup. Bonitas and Caritas were playing in the sleeping area but took notice to Homugi's presence. They didn't seem to mind her. The doctor continued, "I'm refraining you from going back to your camp, least of all if he is supposed to be staying with you. You may as well get comfortable here."

Homugi gasped at this before aggressively wiping her face. She then tried, "I'm not crying anymore! I'd rather go back to the tower than - !"

"Be around a human?" Meioshi interrupted, going into the storage area to retrieve a towel from a wooden bucket. The towel was steaming and smelled of oranges. She walked up to Homugi, who was backing away and lightly growling, and smirked before saying, "Mushin. Bind, Chen-bi."

Homugi plummeted to the ground with a yelp and saw spears surrounded by light trapping her in place. Before she had a chance to even struggle, Meioshi was already shushing her and wiping away stray tears with the steaming towel. It was actually far more comforting than Homugi thought and far more foreign than what Homugi was used to, but she couldn't escape the smoldering flame trapped in Meioshi's hazel eyes as she concentrated on wiping away her tears. How had she grown so numb to heartbreak? How was Sesshomaru still able to make her cry after all these years? All she wanted to do was complete her mission. She was careful not to interact with him more than she had to, so they both should be over what happened in the past. She didn't even bring any of it up. So why? Why?

"Why?" Homugi voiced so pathetically, allowing her tears to simply fall. "Why must I be in pain? How much longer must I live in shame? Isn't focusing on the House of Inu enough to prove my worth beyond wifehood?"

"No," Meioshi answered, surprising Homugi. She then said, "It isn't. Until you realize that your worth is not bound to a place that only thrives in shaming you, or a person who doesn't know how to let the shit go, you will continue to suffer long after death. You have to be the one to define what being worthy truly means to you. You don't have to live or serve in the House of Inu for eternity. It is a temporary holding place. The years you've spent there are years they want so that you remain trapped in a box. They're not the years you deserve. You do, however, have to live with yourself every day. You have to read between the lines to determine what is right and what is real. You have to take care of yourself when you're sick, when you're injured, and when you're dying. Are you worth caring for? healing? saving? If you can't value yourself regardless of the House of Inu, regardless of Sesshomaru, regardless of whoever enjoys watching you fall, then your value as a wife, as a woman, and as a warrior will forever be nothing. Now, you get up off this ground, and stand before me like a real woman who has endured more pain than that man will ever feel."

Meioshi released Homugi's binds, dropped the warm towel, and stood up with her head high and her stance firm. She didn't have a smirk on her face. She wasn't even smiling, but she was waiting. Homugi wasn't sure of what to do. Even if she stood up, it didn't mean her doubts would go away. It didn't mean the pain would go away. It only meant that she had to act a certain way around Meioshi. She had to be a manicured puppet again... for a human, no less.

"I said GET UP!" Meioshi shouted, making Homugi's insides quiver.

She didn't anticipate the human being so frightening. Seeing Meioshi stand so firmly was reminiscent of the mountains holding up the very foundations of the House of Inu. She wasn't a statue that would soon crumble with the ages or chip away from weathering or lose its luster from erosion. Her feet were planted into the earth like the mountain base, back straight to hold life in her mighty bodice, shoulders strong to hold the snowy tops or boulder tops, and breath thin yet heavy so that only eagles could be seen through her eyes and the world can be watched over. On the ground, she was smaller than an ant under the human's gaze. She was always so small in the House of Inu. No matter her power, her combat affinity, her kindness, her coldness, her worth had become defined by Sesshomaru's rejection on that fateful spring sunset. They once were classmates at Yaban'na Tsume. They were friendly towards each other, played together on occasion if Takamuku was around, ate together if the fairy pitta birds were out and about. Lord Toga and Milady even showed up to her demonstrations once she got accepted into Shuji Toboe. She was perfectly fine with being betrothed to her classmate. They were fine. Even when she studied a bit of law and noticed that the House of Inu had questionable rules, Lord Toga approved of her revolutionary standpoints. What was it about being married to her that was so wrong to Sesshomaru? Was she so difficult to love? To learn to love?

"I - " Homugi started.

"Who has been training relentlessly day in and day out not for honorifics or for glory but for something as simple as acknowledgement?" Meioshi asked, leaning down to lock eyes with Homugi. The blue merle beauty barely stuttered a response before Meioshi asked, "Who takes missions from the House without question and completes them with success?"

"I do," Homugi answered with a whisper.

She always had. She took pride in her work, pride in her skills, pride in her loyalty, but it wasn't enough for anybody because the son of Inu no Taisho rejected her. That spring sunset at the dinner table in the general's beautiful home was the beginning of her life in shame and shambles. She was so enthralled with the grandness of the castle. Her mother prepared a beautiful furisode for her to wear. It was yellow and sky blue to match the uniqueness of her eyes. Her hair was longer then, just to the middle of her back, but pinned up in butterfly combs. Her lips were colored for the first time since her mother thought it was a bit inappropriate for children to wear makeup at such a young age. She and her family were escorted to the dinner table, seated at the dinner table, and ate together at the dinner table. It was a calm evening... until crashing sounded in the distance. Sesshomaru was furious that the dinner was to set him up for betrothal. He stormed out, refusing to marry, and even went to the court to deny such a proposal. He was heralded high for such an act, but she was punished and seen as unclean. What made her unique of all the beauties of the inu clan now sullied her. She was unworthy from that day forward. Sons of inu warriors only ever told her that she should be thrilled that any inu would want her if even the son of the mighty Inu no Taisho didn't want her.

Subconsciously, or perhaps angrily, Homugi furrowed her eyebrows and slowly sat upright. All of the times she was torn down and no one comforted her. All of the times she was downsized and no one told her to get back on her feet. No one... except this human. She didn't feel herself rising to stand. She didn't hear herself growling. She didn't see Meioshi's frown turning to a proud smile.

"Who taught you how to run an investigation on your own?" Meioshi asked, watching Homugi call out to the winds and fire of the living world to supplement her yoki energy.

"I did..." Homugi growled, eyes glowing.

"Who has made the most progress in finding the solution to this problem?" Meioshi asked. "Who has put up with everybody else's shit but still had the balls and the skills to stand toe to toe with a man who couldn't do shit on his own?"

"I did!" Homugi responded, baring her teeth. "And I hope the little fucker slobbers in the arms of his little human friends like the coward he is! Alone, immature, and in a corner like a spoiled tot because that's exactly what he's worth!"

"At ease, soldier," Meioshi said, smiling gently at Homugi. The inu girl may have been crying, may have been destroying part of her camp, may have been vulgar, but... it looked like she was finally free. "Jigoku kara inochi o sukuu. What is your name, woman warrior of the west?"

"I am Homugi the Blue Merle Thorn," she said with confidence, producing a morning star mace from her hand. "And I will not stand for anyone's belittlement because of a coward's rejection!"

"You, go girl," Meioshi said with a smile and a nod. "Pleasure to make your acquaintance, Lady Homugi. Do you wish to interrogate me then?"

"Huh?" Homugi responded, energy disappearing in an instant. She looked around the camp and noticed the amount of damage she was causing before dropping her weapon and slapping her cheeks with her hands. Her eyes went wide and she bowed repeatedly and rapidly saying, "I'm so sorry, miss! So, so, so, so sorry! I'm normally more controlled than that! I'm so sorry! I'll fix it! I promise! Watch!"

Meioshi produced an interesting face when the inu girl rushed over to the storage area first, but she did as promised and was determined to fix everything. The fire in her eyes was definitely admirable. How did such a sweet girl wind up hurt behind that ass wipe of a man? After Homugi calmed down, she was much more interested in dinner. The shokupan bread didn't stand a chance, but Meioshi was glad that her rations were being used to the fullest. Less waste, more function. The girls and sprites were able to speak at length about Homugi's mission, and Meioshi was able to tell her about the events of the black wall demon and how Sesshomaru entered the picture. In exchange, Homugi explained her findings and what Sesshomaru's mission was supposed to tell her. Meioshi then proceeded to talk about the events of Shinju o Tateru and how she thought Sesshomaru understood how she felt about his attitude towards children and women. She even went on to say how disappointed she was in him for treating others the way he did.

"You know, the sad thing is he used to be so shy and sweet when we were growing up," Homugi said, filling her bowl with more nabe. The dumplings were exquisite! She then continued, "I don't know what happened to him. He never told me why he was rejecting me or anything. He never saw me as beneath him either. I tried everything to get it out of him, but he kept pushing me away or avoiding me. When he wouldn't open up, our friendship ended and we drifted away as the years went by. Whatever triggered that change in him had to have been something pressing, especially after his father left. No one could get through to him. When I heard that he brought a human girl to his home, I officially lost interest in him and focused on the House of Inu. I no longer had a reason to prove myself to him, his mother, or my parents if he was just going to wind up like his father. That's why I said that earlier. He was working so hard to prove that demons could have the capacity to love the way a human could. That he could change things, but... I don't know what happened. Takamuku stopped talking to me about it, too. We all... just stopped being friends... At least... at least you understand..."

"I've been told the same thing once," Meioshi said with genuine honesty and a remorseful look in her eyes. "That I'm too dirty to have a good husband. That I deserve to be alone for my choice in profession. It's why I hate being pitied or when other women try to show me sympathy when they've never gone through the motions of being so radically brought down to nothing. Having a good support system through friendships or family helps to keep your head above water so to speak. You learn to stand tall in the face of wickedness, to be firm and foundational before those who look up or look at you. I say you were blessed to be rejected because neither Sesshomaru nor his family could've given you what you needed: support. Sounds like they didn't have it themselves. You need someone who won't leave you on the ground when you've fallen, someone who will remind you that you don't belong at everyone's feet, someone who will yell at you to get your arse up, and someone who will wipe away the useless tears so that you can shed tears that matter. Tears were never meant to be seen as a sign of weakness. Don't let anyone tell you otherwise. They can be disabling and fill you full of fatigue, yes, but they wash away the broken armor and chipped weapons you don't need so that you can fight in stride and with swagger."

Homugi was quiet at this, but her face lit up with a smile that she hadn't felt since she was a child. Maybe Lord Toga was right about one thing, after all. Though the world was filled with cruel demons and even crueler humans, there were some who shined above the rest. Some that you could trust and that you feel need to be protected. She may have been unwelcomed to Sesshomaru, but she had a place to belong and a chance to shine and be of use elsewhere. Homugi would prove her worth to herself... and to Meioshi...