Her end or the beginning? (1)

''Haha…'' A hoarse laughter full of intense melancholy, and sadness sounded in the silent room thickened with the scent of disinfectant and chemicals.

"I didn't expect the man I deemed as my enemy to stay with me till my death." Her droopy eyes focused straight on the handsome man, whom was the last person she expected to have helped her.

The words that she just painfully uttered were full of mockery only to herself and no one else. Not even him.

He returned her fixed stare with his own, as always, void with nothing that could tell her what he truly felt just at the mere sight of her.

Had he ever felt disgusted with her?

No…that was a stupid question.

Even she would have felt disgusted at her own self. No man would ever like their fiancé, who had emotionally cheated during their engagement.

Perhaps he had felt some sort of pity. He was, after all, responsible for her hospital bills. Bills that she could have easily paid in the past, but not now in her current situation.

However…she could never know his true feelings.

Now that she thought about this…this man had always been this way.

She had gotten used to his aloof stare, but there had been times when she wished to have known his true feelings. After all, they had many histories together. Histories that told tales of her trying to bring him and his family's business down for another.

''….'' As always, he listened to her unnecessary words.

This wasn't the first time he visited her in the hospital. His visit started a week after she had gotten admitted to the hospital as a critical patient. He was the last person she had expected to visit her and even helped her, with the fact that she had ignored their engagement to chase another man, looming over them like a dark cloud, unable to be blown away.

Of course, she was now suffering from retribution for everything she had done for that same man.

Indirectly killing her only blood-related family, bullying and being a wicked woman to many people who she thought were lower and unworthy of herself, harassing other women out of jealousy, ending her ancestors' and parents' hard work with her own hands.

Wow….what a dreadful human being she had been.

Every time she thought about her past, she couldn't help but wonder why she had been so stupid. Why had been she so foolish in overlooking the red signs plotting about her downfall?

"I was stupid and naïve, so foolish to kill my brother for him…. My innocent and precious baby brother," Her voice laced with the deep agony buried within her heart.

Why was she speaking on a common day like this? She didn't know, actually.

Just….instinctively, she could feel it, that her time was near. She could finally join the rest of her family….her parents whom she owed an explanation for everything, especially for her little brother.

The welling tears rolled down from her eyes as she recalled her sweet and innocent little brother. Her Jason, who had absolutely done nothing wrong, only for him to depart from her without warning.

Just for a simple man, she had done everything to get his love and affection. Her little brother's death was one of the results of her stupid actions.

Just for that same man, she had thrown away her arrogance and pride as a powerful young heiress to fiercely and madly chase him like he was her everything that she couldn't live without, and yet, he already had a family with another woman. He was aware that she hated that woman, disdained her, loathed her every being, and yet, he had gotten together with her secretly without her knowledge.

Even when she had suspected the both of them, she overlooked that suspicion, thinking that everything between them was just a figment of her imagination.

''He doesn't like tea but coffee, and I didn't notice such a simple thing. Why?'' she questioned silently before sneering a bit louder. ''Why?!''

Her gaze burned with resentment towards that man and the people she loved as her family.

Why didn't she notice such a simple thing?

Why didn't she look further even if she thought everything was a figment of her imagination?

If she had looked into it, she would have found something. That tiny action might have saved her little brother's life and their inheritance.

However, that was only if.

In the end, she hadn't done anything and look at where she was, lying and fighting for her fading life on the hospital bed.

Unable to look into his eyes, she faced the white ceiling, thinking about the past that was now far away from the tips of her fingers. It was already late for her to correct her mistakes.

In harsh realities like hers, there was nothing called a second chance.

In fact, there was nothing called a second chance in this world....unless the world was like those fantasy webnovels, which obviously was not.

The handsome man and sobbing woman both stayed in silence for a few minutes until a sound vibrated from a pocket of a suit jacket. The woman knew that was definitely not her phone since she had none, so that could only mean that the phone belonged to the man.

As she expected, the man dipped his hands into that pocket and brought out the vibrating phone. Tapping the screen, he moved the phone to his ear.

''Yes.'' His deep voice said, answering the call.

As the conversation went on between him and the person on the other end of the connected call, her gaze still remained on the white ceiling, patiently waiting for him to finish and end the call.

When she heard nothing from him for a while, her eyes went towards his way, unsurprisingly meeting his, and then, she suddenly asked him a question that she wondered to herself at times.

''Why didn't I fall in love with you?"

Yes, why didn't she fall in love with him?

This man was more handsome and outstanding than that hateful man. He had many achievements in his name, unlike him. He had more wealth and inheritance than that man!

Everything about this man in her gaze was so perfect to the point that she felt he was unreal at the same time.

He was like a princely fictional character, and any woman by his side would be the luckiest person.

She had once been that luckiest person, but out of her foolishness and her relatives' manipulations, she had decided to end things between them by breaking off their engagement.

Hearing her words, she noticed how his body stiffened as if immensely shocked by her unexpected question. Immediately, she laughed softly to herself because this was a first.

Right now, he seemed more human unlike the blank gaze that had never left her.

For a moment, she thought he was aware of her amusement, because his unreadable eyes seemed to have gone soft. A bit surprised, she blinked her eyes to look at him, but those eyes still remained unreadable, like what she saw was an illusion.

'I must be seeing things.' She thought, then resumed her talk.

"You might not have loved me, but you would have given me the respect and protection that I deserve as your wife.'' She paused, her mind reeling back to her understanding of this man from the rumors.

He was seen as a calculative and scheming man in the business world. However, he had been the most suited bachelor for unmarried young misses like her former self. Even now, he still remained unmarried.

The empty left ring finger was a visible sight to behold.

This had actually been a surprise, since he had admitted to the fact that she was his first and last fiancée.

''If you had loved someone during our marriage, I would have tried every means in my power to fix our marriage.'' She chose her words carefully. ''But if my efforts were futile and my love was unrequited, I would have learned to let go somehow, like now….with him.''

Perhaps she would have let go…perhaps. Even if this man had a mistress to their marriage, he would have controlled the situation.

When she was still a young miss, his reputation had been clean from any news with women. Even when she had tried to sabotage his reputation, he still remained clean from her schemes.

Quite an obvious clue that he greatly valued his reputation. At least, she would have been a respected wife in the eyes of others if she had married him.

During her regretful speech, he looked at her with the same unreadable eyes. She returned his stare for a moment after, before turning her gaze back to the white ceiling.

She then sighed to herself. 'If only…'

But there was no if in this world, as time would never wait for no one.

"You know, I have many regrets, but I am dying little by little each day. I could feel it from within, and I do deserve this death, after all.'' She said, her words slowing down at each ticking of the time. ''If my body wasn't feeling this weak, I would have made a grave for my baby brother. I would have given my family's business to you as an inheritance. At least you would have made it prosper under your name rather than mine.'' Her lips curled up into a remorseful smile.

 ''I would have also imprisoned that man and his wife for all their wrongdoings. My relatives would definitely not escape their lessons for deceiving me all these years because of wealth. I-If-f….cough!" A familiar metallic taste filled her mouth, and she spat it out instantly.

*cough!* *cough!*

''I-cough!'' Another cough stopped her words. When she tried to say speak again, a wheezing sound only escaped her lips.

Her throat was too painful for her to vocalize her words. Before she knew it, her eyelids were too heavy for her to keep them up. At that moment, she knew that her body was already at its limit. She couldn't hear the usual beeping sound of the machine beside her bed.

Using alI the remaining strength within her body, she managed to stare at him, now looking down on her, and squeezed out two words, with a forced a smile. "T-Thank y-you."

Thank you so much for being with her in her final moments.

Thank you for helping her this much, even with the dark history between them.

She then willingly closed her eyes, satisfied with what she said to him. At the very least, she did something right before she took her last breath.

Suddenly, a deep voice spoke from her side before her consciousness shut down.

''The regrets you have, I have done most of them a long time ago. There is a grave for your brother right beside your parents' graves. Your uncle is in prison because of his crimes and illegal actions in the Kingston corporation. His family also suffered the same fate. The Kingston corporation is under your cousin's name, the sickly one. In your entire family, he is the one that hid himself very deeply. His skills in business is not be underestimated. It would have been nice if you had been closer to him instead, not that man you had fallen in love with, and your relatives. Lastly, your grave is waiting for you with your family. Even if you feel that you don't deserve to be buried with them, you do, because you were just a victim….perhaps a foolish one in your own words. If you have a next life with a different identity, I hope that you won't be fooled, and take care of your family in that life. Goodbye, Ayana." As the man kept on listing all the things he did just for her, she felt her last tears rolling down my cheeks before his faint voice faded into nothing, and she was buried within the bottomless abyss.

'Thank you for everything, My Ex-Fiancé.'