Sand man.

You know the only thing that ticks me off about beaches is the sand. It gets fucking everywhere forever. If you bring any pair of shoes to any sandy location, you will forever have sand in those shoes no matter how many times you wash them. It's just going to feel gritty and you'll have sand in your socks and urghhh. I would literally eat the sand fruit just so I could slightly upset people by putting a small amount of sand in their shoes if they piss me off.

We had parked our ship off the coast of alabasta and were making our way towards crocodiles hideout. I had hidden the ship in some mist since I didn't want it seen or surrounded or anything.

There was however a problem and that was the fucking sand everywhere being whipped around by the wind.

It gets in your hair and eyes and everywhere. What a fucking bother.

It didn't take long for us to find his hideout as he had no intention of hiding from people.

It was like a big fucking sandcastle with doors. I just kicked that shit open and marched inside the building.

Hearing the commotion some people started to scramble out. That was until they saw who had entered and froze in place.

This included crocodile for a second. "You? Why are you here?" He asks nervously.

"I'm here to pick up my new crew member Nico Robin. Have you heard of her?" I say with a smile.

His nervousness intensified. "No?"

"Tsk tsk fibbing is bad you know?" He panics and shifts into sand exploding out trying to escape.

With a wave of my hand his soul and fruit are stuffed into my domain and the sand just flops onto the ground.

I look around at the other occupants of the area before finding my target.

Tall dark haired woman with tan skin currently wearing a cowboy outfit. Are there even cowboys in the one piece world? Do they even have horses? These are the questions people really need to ask.

"Hello. You are nico robin I presume." I ask the wary woman.

"Yes and you are the death god wanted by every single person on the seas." She says.

"I know I'm incredibly handsome sadly there's just not enough of me to go around for the entire planet." I say with a cheeky smile. "Anyway I'm here to offer you a wonderful opportunity to join my crew. I have a few things I may be able to offer you that no one else can."

"Like what?" She asks curiously.

"Protection from the world government, Friendship, a nice family." I lean forward next to her ear. "The ability to learn the history of untold numbers of planets you've never even dreamed of."

Her eyes widen at that last bit and I hold out my hand for a shake.

She quickly takes it.

"Well my business here is done." I look towards the fearful people in the room.

"If you guys don't change your ways I may have to slaughter you all, ya know?" I say with a smile.

"Yes sir we promise!" They shout and kneel.

"Good. Well I'll be off got lots to do. Also if this sand doesn't fuck off I'll be back to beat you all so fucking fix it." I say with a menacing stare before happily leaving with my new crew member.

"We need to go and pick up Boa. I've got a surprise for you all." I say as we head back to the ship.

"A surprise?" Tashigi asks.

"Yep a whole new world of wonder." I have plans to take them all to the marvel world to learn some stuff. Not going to lie this world is pretty meh when it comes to things like science and technology. Plus nothing major is going to happen for a little bit and I want to go and get some training done. I knew the perfect world to get it too.

After boarding the boat we searched for my beautiful waifu. Who was also eagerly searching for me. I mean as a former slave of the celestial dragons when she had found out what I had done. Boa completely thought it was some romantic gesture just for her and fell even harder.

When I hopped on her ship the powerful and proud woman instantly turned into a meek love sick kitten who was constantly blushing and swooning.

I quickly swept her off her feet before. "I'm taking your empress for a few years byeeeee." And then we were gone leaving a gob smacked female pirate crew.

Back on our ship I explained the situation to the girls.

"We are going to one of my other worlds and you guys are going to be learning for a while. Not going to lie but compared to my planet this whole place is like some back alley dump with a bunch of idiots living in it." I say seriously.

"No way it can be that much better right?" Tashigi says looking at me in doubt.

With a flash they are all in my mansion and my boat is stored.

"Welcome to New York. This is my home kinda I have a few others but we will be using this one for now." I say with a smile.

"Now there's a few things I want to discuss. One is a marriage contract a magical one that lets you link up with me and learn things fast along with some other benefits. The other is tutoring I'm going to be getting you all teachers even if you don't want to do the marriage thing." I float out a few pieces of paper. "If you want the marriage then all you have to do is sign the paper." There's a mad dash from Boa who jumps onto on of the papers and quickly signs her name. I feel her click into my mind. There's only one more who agrees to sign and that's Bellmere. Nojiko is on the fence about it. Tashigi and Robin are out for now.

"Alright now for you all to meet some of my other wives who will help you get accustomed to your new life. I have some business to attend to." I say and I'm gone in a flash again.