Chapter 82: Land of the Tender; Body of Gold Hard-Pressed Against Desire (Part 3)
TW: Graphic Self Harm ________________________________________________________________________________________
That young soldier whipped around, "...YOUR HIGHNESS?"
With one hand supporting himself off the ground, Xie Lian used the other to cover his mouth doggedly, his breathing erratic, his shoulders shaking. Just by listening to him and seeing his silhouette, one would probably think he was sobbing.
Never in his life, before and after ascension, had Xie Lian experienced such a grueling ordeal. This was much more arduous than the toughest trial at the Huang Ji Pavilion. Strength of the arm supporting his weight drained, and his body keeled over to the side. As he laid on the ground delirious and barely conscious, he saw that boy looked as if he wanted to enter, and Xie Lian shouted, "DON'T COME IN! I SAID DON'T COME IN NO MATTER WHAT YOU HEAR!!!"
That boy stopped in his step, and Xie Lian laboriously flipped onto his back, facing up, and somehow regulated his breathing despite wave after waves of heat crashing through every part of his body. The flower demons outside the cave heard him tossing and turning, that fire burning intensely, and they clapped while laughing, "My good highness, why be so hard on yourself! Today you're refusing yourself a good time because you're scared of losing followers; tomorrow you'll be scared to do other things because you'd be scared of losing followers. How is that any way a heavenly official? More like a prisoner hands tied by those devotees! It's not worth it being a god like that. You're gonna lose your place sooner or later, so why not just enjoy yourself for now? Things come and go, no need to mind the petty details!"
Veins popped on Xie Lian's forehead and his temper lost control. "SHUT UP!!!" He shouted, outraged.
The flower demons naturally weren't afraid of the him right now, and they started teasing that little soldier anew, "Little didi, don't you think we're right? Hahahaha..."
"Hee hee hee... aren't you feeling miserable standing there?"
Cold sweat had already drenched his entire body. Feeling exceedingly hot and bothered, Xie Lian violently tore at his robes, wanting even just a sliver of coolness. As he ripped, he suddenly noticed: how come strength was returning to his arms? Although that bit of power didn't last long and left just as quickly, when he checked himself, sure enough the numbness had passed, and energy was gradually increasing. Yet, Xie Lian's heart was dropping.
The effect of the Tender Fragrance was numbness at first followed by mania. The numbness had passed, so in a moment, madness and passion would fill his veins. Although he drew two lines of barriers at the entrance of the cave, the interior one drawn especially to prevent his crazed self from going out, but once mania took over, he was not certain whether if the barrier would be enough to stop him. This moment of clarity was a rare blessing, and Xie Lian grabbed on to it with both hands, thinking rapidly of ways to handle the situation.
Suddenly, a small realization came to him: The Tender Fragrance worked rapidly; usually the moment blood rushed to the brain all control would be lost, so how had he managed to stay afloat until now? Was there no other reason than his exceptional steadiness of the mind?
Thinking of this, Xie Lian inhaled a long breath and inclined his head, then he called to the silhouette of that boy by the cave's entrance, still looking indecisive over entering. "You... come in."
Hearing his call, that young soldier appeared to want to run to his side immediately, but after a few steps, he seemed to remember Xie Lian's angry instruction of "Don't come in no matter what you hear", and he hesitated. Xie Lian was also feeling woeful at changing his mind so quickly, and he called again miserably, "Just come in here first."
That boy stopped hesitating and rushed in.
The tunnel of that cave was long and narrow, the interior warm and humid. Darkness filled the space, not even raised fingers could be seen, and that boy used Xie Lian's rasping breaths to find where he was. Xie Lian then instructed, "Put down your sword... put it on the ground. Right next to me. Not too far away."
"Yes sir!" That young soldier acknowledged and handed over his only defense and placed it where Xie Lian could easily reach for it. Xie Lian then added, "Please help me up."
That boy half knelt next to him and extended both his arms to help support Xie Lian. However, the moment his hands reached out, what he touched wasn't fabric, but feverish skin.
Those hands immediately shrank back. Xie Lian himself felt burnt by that boy's hot hands, and only then did he remember he tore off his upper robes earlier in the midst of madness. Men naked from the waist up usually didn't mean anything, except under the current circumstances, it was a little more awkward. But there was no need to highlight that awkwardness; they just need to do what they must. That boy seemed to realized it too, and he didn't wait for Xie Lian to say anything before he reached out again, circling his arm around Xie Lian's bare shoulders to help him up, then immediately let go. Xie Lian leaned against the wall of the tunnel, his back pressed against the cool rocky wall and felt some relief. Noticing that the other backed away a few steps, he hurriedly said, "Wait, don't go out yet!"
That young soldier heeded his every word, and immediately halted. "Cut off a lock of my hair. I have need for it." Xie Lian said.
That boy acknowledged the order and reached out again. However, nothing could be seen clearly in the darkness, and Xie Lian's long locks were cleanly tied behind his back, so his first contact wasn't Xie Lian's hair, but instead he accidentally felt the skin of Xie Lian's chest, soft and supple with a sheen of glistening sweat. Xie Lian was already in torment and that boy had touched somewhere sensitive. It was as if a jolt of electricity shocked through his torso, spreading pleasure throughout his whole body, and he moaned softly.
The two in the cave instantly froze.
The flower demons outside the cave were desperately trying to listen in so how could they miss it? They giggled, "My gosh, what are they doing in there?"
"So embarrassing!"
"I didn't dare to listen!"
Listening to their teasing his suffering, Xie Lian gritted his teeth, "YOU–!"
That boy immediately dropped his hands at the sound of Xie Lian's fury, afraid to make any more contact. Obviously Xie Lian wasn't furious at him; in his eyes that little soldier was nothing more than a child. He softened his tone, thinking the boy was probably scared of offending him, and said, "Don't panic, continue. Don't mind them."
That boy croaked, "Yes sir." But he did indeed seemed to be panicking, feeling everywhere he shouldn't, and every time he found he had touched the wrong place his hands would shrink back. In the end he couldn't but only trace his hands up Xie Lian's chest to find his hair, flaring unspeakable pleasure and agony in Xie Lian. Such misery, Xie Lian longed to smash his head against the tunnel wall and just pass out for good. Finally, that boy felt Xie Lian's throbbing adam's apple and sought behind the neck, grasping a lock of hair. With only a few strands in his grip, he very carefully cut with the sword and said instantly after, "Your Highness, it's done!"
Another small bout of strength returned to Xie Lian just then, and he raised his hand, "Give me your hand."
That boy heeded, and from his hands, Xie Lian retrieved those long, thin strands and tied them into a knot onto a random finger of that boy's hand. That boy was baffled, and he asked with a quivering voice, "Your Highness, what's this?"
Xie Lian sighed, "The flower demon's poison is about to enter second stage. I need to borrow your sword. If anything wants to harm you later, just raise this hand and it can protect you. Now, leave."
A moment later, that young soldier returned to the entrance of the cave. Those flower demons thus became rowdy again, "Out again?"
"Finally."
"Blocking us outside like this while you went in yourself. Little buddy, you're not very nice!"
At that same time, Xie Lian could feel more strength surging through his limbs. He sucked in a deep breath, grabbed the worn sword that young soldier left behind with his right hand, steadied his spirit, raised the sword, and made a cut on his left arm.
In a flash, it was like the fog had lifted, and his senses refreshed.
He knew it!
Blood streamed down Xie Lian's left arm, but it was like he had finally grasped a lifeline in the midst of that chaos.
The fragrance of Land of the Tender could aggravate one's temper and arouse deep, slumbering urges. Typically the stronger the repressed urge, after taking in the fragrance, the stronger the rebound. As for what Xie Lian repressed deep down, taking 'lust' away, there was only the urge to kill left.
This "Urge to Kill" couldn't be referred to monsters or demons. He had slain much evil in the past so it didn't count as any sort of repression. The target to be killed must be human or a god in order to inflict the sense of transgression. Before entering the cave, Xie Lian cut himself in order to draw the arrays and so blood was spilt. It was somewhat effective against the Tender Fragrance because injuring himself was also a form of inflicting harm.
At the end of the day, 'lust' and 'murder' were both extremely aggressive desires, and Xie Lian had even heard that some thought the nature of both were one and the same. Then, using himself as proof, there was indeed an alternative method to pass the current trial.
Sure of his own reasoning, Xie Lian cut another line on his left arm without hesitation, and each cut brought more clarity to his mind. He was just rejoicing and didn't realize that the Tender Fragrance was stirring more evil within his body, and when that urge to kill was satisfied, instantly, another wave of pleasure poured through his person.
That sudden surge of pleasure coursed through him from head to toe, easily breaking the wall of defense he painstakingly built, and by the time Xie Lian had realized it, he was already quietly moaning.
If it wasn't only him inside the cave, Xie Lian wouldn't be able to believe that sound came from him. He shuddered violently and widened his eyes, thinking, 'This method should've worked, so why would this happen?'
He glanced at the sword and suddenly remembered: that young soldier had used it to cut down the stems of those flowers, and had struck the humanoid flower demons. The blade was covered in the sap of those Land of the Tenders. He used twenty percent of his power to make the first cut on his arm, and the same relieving effect could only be achieved if he used thirty percent of his power to cut. Wasn't this no different than drinking poison to quench thirst?
Madness must've gone to his head, otherwise he should've already noticed this. Xie Lian cursed himself mentally, but since the act had already been done, he could only rip off a piece of his left sleeve to wipe crazily at the sword, then tear off his right sleeve to stuff it in his own mouth, biting it down mulishly, and do his best to restrain himself.
The damned quiet moans continued to escape through his bit lips and gritted teeth intermittently. However, voices echo within caves, and every small sound was amplified and reverberated outwards. That boy heeded his instructions and covered his eyes, using only his sense of hearing to work, and his ears became more sensitive, so there was no reason he noticed nothing. Unable to hold back any longer, he asked with a quivering voice, "Your Highness?"
To be in such an unspeakable state was the biggest shame of his life. Xie Lian could hardly imagine what would happen should anyone see him now, and even submerged in darkness he could not tolerate the thought. He yelled, "DON'T COME IN!!!"
However, that piece of cloth was still stuffed in his mouth so his command only sounded like muffled whimpering, exceedingly pitiful and wretched. Hearing him, that young soldier became even more agitated. _____________________________________________________________________________________
●[斷髮/ 結髮夫妻] The traditional wedding ritual of spouses cutting off a lock of their own hair, intertwining and tying them together symbolized "Til Death Do Us Part". Xie Lian cutting off a lock of his hair to tie around Hua Cheng's finger might be as inconsequential as Lan Wangji biting Wei Wuxian's arm, but it's a point of interest anyway knowing MXTX, lol. (Obviously Hua Cheng thought more of it than Xie Lian did since he tied the red string of fate on his finger later?)