Chapter 103: Venerable of Empty Words; Mourning at the Feast (Part 1)
"How is it?" Xie Lian asked.
THUD! And Ming Yi collapsed onto the altar table face down, as if she lost consciousness.
Next to her, two lines of tears silently streamed down Shi Qingxuan's face.
"..."
Xie Lian asked hesitantly, "My lords, how is it exactly? Will you pull yourselves together and give me some constructive criticism using words?"
Shi Qingxuan snapped out of it, wiped a face full of tears and clutched Xie Lian's hands, pressing down with force, and said unintelligibly, "...Your Highness."
Xie Lian reversed the hold and clutched his hands back, "What?"
Shi Qingxuan was tongue-tied, unable to speak, and a moment later, he sobbed as he pushed Ming Yi, "Ming-xiong... Ming-xiong! Ming-xiong, what's wrong? Pull yourself together, wake up!"
Ming Yi laid on the table, unmoving. Shi Qingxuan could never stand anyone ignoring him, and push became shove until finally he was strangling the other, shaking with force. Xie Lian couldn't watch anymore and suggested anxiously, "Lord Wind Master, why don't you put down the broom, we can talk things out."
Shi Qingxuan was strangling that broom and whipped his head around, shouting "HAH? YOUR HIGHNESS WHAT DID YOU SAY? I CAN'T HEAR YOU!"
Feeling a little helpless, Xie Lian yelled into his ear, "LORD WIND MASTER! THE THING IN YOUR HANDS IS NOT LORD EARTH MASTER. LORD EARTH MASTER IS HERE. HERE!"
Just then, Ming Yi whipped up. He actually returned to his male form in a flash, his face dark like steel, and he proclaimed scornfully, "I have evil in the heart now. Please exorcise it for me."
A spoonful of stew can produce evil in the heart? Xie Lian was shocked to the core. He mumbled, "...That can't be possible..."
Shi Qingxuan however, was pointing at Ming Yi, his eyes round and bulging, "HOLD IT! YOU! What evil are you to dare show your petty tricks before this Wind Master? Where's Ming-xiong? Quick, I'll shield you! Let's take it down together." And with the broom in one hand, the other flung out the wind master fan. If that fan was to attack, then the entire rooftop would be blown away for sure! Xie Lian hastily rushed up to hold him down, "DON'T DON'T DON'T. MY LORDS PLEASE, WILL YOU BOTH SNAP OUT OF IT!"
"HAHAHAHAHahahahHEHehehehheehheeeheheehuehuehuehue..."
Qi Rong was slamming his fists on the ground laughing outside, yelling, "Y'ALL DESERVED IT! FUCKING OFFICIALS! GO DIE AND ASCEND! THIS IS FUCKING GREAT! I FEEL SO MUCH BETTER!"
The two officials inside were falling all over themselves, groaning nonstop. Hua Cheng leaned against the wall with his arms crossed, and Xie Lian looked at him, then looked at the Wind Master and Earth Master clutching their heads buckling on the ground, and whispered, "Is it maybe because I didn't add enough water after all... why would their reactions be stronger than Qi Rong's?"
Hua Cheng raised his brows, "I think it's fine. It's probably a problem with their taste buds. It happens."
Xie Lian however, had never thought about what Qi Rong typically ate and what heavenly officials usually ate. Comparing the two, heavenly officials were much more sensitive and emotionally delicate, so that was probably why their reactions were much stronger. Of course, he also didn't think about whether if anything had been added after that pot had passed through Hua Cheng's hands.
Feeling both depressed and guilty, Xie Lian fed seven to eight bowls of water each to Shi Qingxuan and Ming Yi before the two slowly came to. Although their faces were green like Qi Rong and their eyes dead, at least they were conscious, their speech returning. The only small problem was the unstoppable tears streaming down Shi Qingxuan's face, and when he spoke he'd accidentally bite his tongue at times. Other than that there weren't any real issues.
After all that ruckus, two hours later the four finally sat down orderly around the altar table.
Ming Yi still had his face down on the altar, still as a corpse. Xie Lian righted his expression and inquired solemnly, "Lord Wind Master, you said there was something important you wanted my help with earlier? What is it exactly?"
Looking wan and sallow, Shi Qingxuan threw a soundproof spell on the door, making sure that no one outside could hear anything before he croaked with a hoarse voice, "...It's like this. Ahem ahem. Ahem ahem. Your Highness, you've been hiding in the world, cultivating in the mortal realm for eight hundred years. You've walked and seen much, so you must have bumped into plenty of ghosts and monsters, right?"
Xie Lian folded his hands one over the other and replied, "I've met some."
"Then I want to ask," Shi Qingxuan said, "Have... have you ever met a 'Venerable of Empty Words'?"
Xie Lian was taken aback, "The Venerable of Empty Words who mourn at feasts?"
Shi Qingxuan lowered his voice and replied ominously, "That's right!"
Suddenly, Xie Lian felt a wave of hair-raising cold breeze blowing up his spine, swishing.
At the same time, there seemed to be someone next to his ear, giggling coldly and humming an exceedingly creepy tune.
Somehow, the sunlight that shined through the windows and cracks warming the little Puqi shrine also dimmed, like the whole place was enveloped in a large shadow. Xie Lian's extremities were getting colder, icy like steel.
"..."
"..."
"..."
Xie Lian had to clutch his robes tight and felt this must be brought up directly and spoke up, "I have to ask... who's laughing? Who's singing? Who's blowing cold air behind my back? Who made the shrine this dark?"
Shi Qingxuan wiped away his tears and said, "Oh, that's all me. It's just a little spell, don't mind it. It's just for creating the mood."
The other three at the altar table were speechless. A moment later, Xie Lian supported his temple and said exasperatedly, "...Lord Wind Master, how about we stop this breeze? With this weather, none of us are dressed in layers. Besides, the mood was already there, but it's all dissipated after you added the cold breeze and music..."
"Huh? Really?" Shi Qingxuan said, then with a wave of his hand, the blowing cold air behind everyone's backs were dispersed. "But I think it'd be good if the shrine remains this dark. Let me light a candle, the ambiance will be even better." As he spoke, he really did take out a candle and lit it. In the flickering candlelight illuminated the two snow white faces and two other pale, greenish faces. The mood was actually quite strong, the haunting atmosphere exceptional, and perhaps even Qi Rong who was outside would howl and scream in fright of ghosts.
The other three didn't want to say anything anymore. Hua Cheng leaned back and Ming Yi remained as a corpse. Xie Lian rubbed his forehead and said, "Let's continue... Where were we? The Venerable of Empty Words? Why didn't you just say the Jinx monster? Calling it the Venerable of Empty Words, it took me a minute to realize what you were talking about."
The Venerable of Empty Words, although given the title 'venerable', people only addressed it as a venerable for show, giving it some face, afraid that if its name was too unseemly and it found out, it'd come after you. In truth, everyone wished they could curse it as the foul-mouthed venerable, the jinx monster, and the worse it sounded the better. However, it really was abominable to the extreme.
That's right. Typical demons and monsters were at most scary, but this one was 'abominable'. This was because if someone should be happy, in their moment of joy it would appear and dunk a bucket of cold water over their heads, a real killjoy. Think for a moment; at the reception of a pair of newlyweds, something of this sort appeared, ate up the feast then suddenly claim: "It won't take long for the two of you to break up!" Or in another case, if an old master of a household was promoted in office, it would also suddenly appear and cry in the midst of congratulations: "You're going to get cuffed and go to jail in a few years!"
If it should attach itself to someone, it would become like the shadows and firmly wrap itself onto that person, endlessly cursing for the opposite whenever a joyous occasion should occur. Truly abominable. Especially for those who feared ominous signs; if they ran into that thing they'd die from distress. No one wanted something of the sort to attach itself to themselves, but if they bump into it, they could only accept their fate, because up until now, there was still no one who knew just how it selected prey.
It seemed Shi Qingxuan was quite fearful of that creature but Xie Lian didn't think it a big deal, "Don't worry. It's nothing to be scared of."
To say it correctly, that creature was more likely to be scared of him. Shi Qingxuan became energetic, "So Your Highness has met one? Is there any way to exterminate that thing completely?"
Humming for a moment, Xie Lian replied, "I did bump into two many years ago, but they've never shown themselves again, so I don't know for sure if they were completely exterminated. But by my experience, it's not that difficult dealing with them."
Shi Qingxuan was overjoyed, "TWO? You managed to deal with two?! I've really come to the right place! So what happened?"
Thus Xie Lian began his tale. The first one was like this: Many years ago, Xie Lian passed through a small town, and there was a wealthy merchant sending his daughter off to the capital to study. Because of how outstanding his daughter was, he made a big show of publicly commending her, a joyous occasion. Who knew, from joy brewed tragedy, and at the sendoff feast, there was suddenly a voice that belted, "Your daughter's carriage will overturn on the road and she will die crashing down the valley!"
That wealthy merchant jumped to his feet in rage on the spot and was going to catch the one who said those words, but that person ducked under the table right after and disappeared into thin air!
After that, everyone was scared. Fortunately, Xie Lian went to that household that day to collect junk. He managed to obtain some leftovers and was about to head back when he heard what happened. He knew what that creature was so he told that wealthy merchant not to worry. He asked the wealthy merchant to hire some twenty guards, and with Xie Lian himself included, they carefully escorted the little lady to the capital safely, and protected her for a while. A month later, that little lady won first place in a beauty contest, and the chance had come.
That night, a feast was held at a restaurant in the capital to celebrate the little lady, and sure enough, there was a voice mixed in the crowd again, belting, "You will be..."
The moment Xie Lian heard it's voice he immediately seized that creature from the crowd, choking its neck, stopping it from uttering another word. Then, he immediately used a charm to seal its body, beat it to a bloody pulp, then ordered for a carriage, taking it to the valleys to run wildly astray. At a winding corner of the mountain pass the reins snapped, and that carriage crashed down the cliffs, fulfilling its own curse to others.
"That's it?" The other three asked.
"That's it." Xie Lian said. "To deal with the Jinx... alright, the Venerable of Empty Words. To deal with the Venerable of Empty Words, there are three ways: first, don't let it open its mouth, and cut it off before it could speak. This can only help guard you for the moment but it won't protect you for life, so you need to be constantly vigilant."
"Second, if it should speak, don't let the subject of its curse hear. Anyone would be scared if they should hear a curse against them whilst at the height of their joy, and that creature feeds on that fear; it revels in it. The more scared you are the happier it becomes. If you should lose yourself from terror and ruin your own affairs according to its words, its powers will increase significantly. But unless you're deaf, you'll definitely hear it speak one day. To be honest, not even the deaf could escape probably, because there were some who'd sew up their own ears in an attempt to escape the thing but it was still useless in the end."
"On the flip side, if you don't pay any mind to however it curses or however it pours cold water over you, then it can't do anything to you. So, the most effective way is the third method: surround yourself with happy thoughts and ignore it completely. Let it speak or not speak, but forget everything it says. Make yourself stronger and continue down your path according to your own will and not the tragedy it predicted for you. This way, in the end, if it can't draw any despair from you, it will most likely sneak away on its own. Of course, it can still very well just be lying low waiting for the next chance to ambush."
Although the third method was the most effective, it was still really difficult to accomplish. After all, who in the world could truly build a heart of stone and feel not a single ripple? The more Shi Qingxuan listened the deeper his frown grew, "Then what about the second time? Did you take care of it the same way the second time?"
"The second time might not be useful as a reference for anyone. After all, it was a unique situation." Xie Lian said.
"How is it unique?"
"The one it attached itself to was me." Xie Lian replied.