Teasing Words to Befuddle Me and Also My Lord 2

After that exchange, thoughts laid heavy on Xie Lian's mind the rest of the way. He tried prodding for more, but every response Hua Cheng gave him thereafter all seemed to mean "that's all I'll say on the subject". Thus, Xie Lian didn't pursue it anymore.

When they returned to Puqi Shrine, dawn had not yet broken upon the horizon.

Pushing the door open, Xie Lian could see that all the dishes were cleaned and put away. Lang Ying, Guzi, and Qi Rong were all sleeping inside, a blanket covering them, looking very comfortable. It seemed that after he left, there really was someone who took care of things attentively, and they had already left silently.

This time when Xie Lian returned, there was a large pile of prayers waiting.

Puqi Shrine had never received this many prayers before, but he didn't think it had anything to do with that wealthy merchant spreading his good name—that's right. That wealthy merchant who lived in town finally came to fulfill his promise.

However, even if he did come by, he either didn't notice the very obvious sign Xie Lian placed right out front, or he purposely ignored it. He also didn't donate however much money he promised he would. The most important purpose of his coming here was to gift a brocade banner, and he enthusiastically presented it to Xie Lian before all the folks in the village. Xie Lian rolled it open unsuspectingly, and immediately folded it closed. Even so, the giant words on that brocade banner were deeply ingrained in his mind: "Return Babes through Miraculous Hands"¹.

"???"

After sending that wealthy merchant off, he exhaled a long sigh. He'd been worried every day, wondering when the shack would finally collapse; he really didn't know when it could be repaired. Hua Cheng, who had been leaning against the door, seemed to have guessed what he was sighing over.

He said, "I've long wanted to say something. If gege doesn't feel secure living here, why not just move somewhere else?"

Xie Lian shook his head. "That's easy for you to say, San Lang. Where would I move to?"

Hua Cheng smiled. "Why not move over to my place?"

Xie Lian knew that those words couldn't be as nonchalant as they sounded. But ever since the "joke" the other night, a small shadow manifested in his heart for some reason. He no longer dared to respond to anything Hua Cheng said using that "joking" demeanor; only acknowledging with a smile, inclining his head.

As for those prayers received, although they were nothing more than mundane—such as the old ox broke his leg and couldn't haul the plow, or the wife in the house got pregnant and couldn't help in the fields—nonetheless, they were still prayers, and he must treat all worshippers equally. After a couple days, Xie Lian responded to the prayers and went into the village to help plow and plant.

Since Hua Cheng had been staying with him, naturally he went along to play. Because this was hard manual labour, at first Xie Lian hadn't wanted him to work too, but he refused to be persuaded. Thus, the two changed into coarse clothing, rolled up their sleeves and pant legs, and entered the waters of the rice paddy fields.

The large expanse of lush green rice paddy fields was littered with bustling farmers, and among them, there were two silhouettes that were particularly conspicuous.

Even if he was dressed in Xie Lian's gritty clothing, not a single bit of Hua Cheng's impressive air could be hidden away. More like, that ragged outfit only accentuated his face and figure. The two of them were both pale-skinned, their arms beautiful, their legs long and straight; painting an eye-catching, scintillating picture among the muddy-faced farmers. It made the village girls— who were used to seeing boors—blush, their hearts racing. They kept sneaking glances, and as they transplanted seedlings, soon their grafts were planted off-course and into curved lines; becoming laughingstocks.

Hua Cheng's blanched skin was a colour that was devoid of blood. Xie Lian, on the other hand, was rosy through the translucent white; due to his natural physique, the more he sweated, the more his skin became fair like jade. With the blazing sun overhead, he had only worked for a short while before his entire person was white like powder. The dry heat was intolerable, and he kept wiping at the beads of sweat rolling down his collarbones. However, he thought of how ghosts were all creatures of the shadows, disgusted with the sun, and knew Hua Cheng must be even more irritated. Xie Lian turned his head to look over. Sure enough, Hua Cheng also straightened up languidly, using a hand to block out the sun, his eyes squinting. Hiding in the shadows of his right hand, he was also gazing in Xie Lian's direction.

Xie Lian walked over and pressed the bamboo hat down on his head. "Here."

Hua Cheng was slightly taken aback at first, but he soon squinted into a smile. "Okay."

Although Hua Cheng said he was going to work the fields just for fun, when he actually got down to work, he was way faster than Xie Lian; swift and efficient, extremely skilled. An hour

later, Xie Lian finished transplanting his field of paddies, but he was already sore and in pain, knocking and massaging his waist. Hua Cheng came over to help him out. Xie Lian took a look, and he couldn't believe that after only so long, Hua Cheng actually finished a large field silently all by himself; each green rice stalk standing in the watery paddies, neat and orderly, pleasing to the eye.

Xie Lian said earnestly, "San Lang, you really do learn fast. You don't need to help me, go sit and rest, and drink some water or something."

Thus, Hua Cheng went to the field ridges to retrieve water. The Village Head had been watching on the side for some time, and just then he gave a thumbs-up.

"Daozhang, which house does that little lad belong to? He's so diligent! So amazing! Just one of him is as good as ten men! If any girl is to catch his eye, then it'd be her good fortune!"

Xie Lian "pfft"-ed and laughed, but it wasn't long before a few others came secretly to inquire too.

"Hey, hey, Daozhang, where's that little lad staying at your shrine from? Is he married yet? There couldn't be a wife in his household yet, right?"

"Surely not? He's so young!"

Xie Lian didn't know whether to laugh or cry, and answered vaguely. "Um…I guess. He's young, so it's not time to consider anything yet."

Those villagers immediately said, "Well, that's not right. It's precisely because he's young that the affair gotta be settled soon."

"Daozhang, you gotta talk to him. Men gotta settle early before they can mature. Gotta build a home before anything else."

"That's right! Young people! They're ***! They won't be able to withstand lonely nights!"

Those villagers were all from households with daughters, and wanted to dig for information. Just as Xie Lian was courteously turning them away, Hua Cheng walked over with a bamboo water bottle dangling in his hand.

"I'm married. There's a wife at home."

When those villagers heard, they were greatly disappointed, but still unrelenting.

"Which house is the lady from? Won't the little buddy tell us?"

"You're not lying to us, are you?"

"She must be virtuous and beautiful?"

Hua Cheng raised his brows. "En, that's right. Virtuous and beautiful. A real noble and gracious special someone that I've liked since I was young. I've had that crush for many years, and pursued really hard before I was able to win that person over."

He spoke with such serious certainty, without a hint of falsehood, that those villagers felt there was no more to be said. They could only disperse, feeling defeatedly disappointed.

Xie Lian was spacing out listening to him when Hua Cheng passed over a cloth and a water bottle.

"Water?"

Xie Lian took the cloth and wiped his mud-covered hands before taking the water bottle to drink a few swallows, then passed it back. Subconsciously, he'd bunched the cloth in his hands into a messy ball, and he wiped himself here and there.

After trying to hold it in for a while, he still couldn't help but ask, "…is that true?"

Hua Cheng took the bamboo bottle and drank a swallow himself, his Adam's apple rolling up and down once, before he lowered his head.

"Hm? Is what true?"

Xie Lian raised his sleeve and wiped some sweat on the side of his face. He wondered if the sun was a little too big today, because both his forehead and his cheeks were both burning up. He tried his best to sound as casual as possible, and smiled.

"There's a wife at home, virtuous and beautiful, a real noble, gracious special someone. You've had that crush since you were young, and pursued really hard before you won that person over."

"Oh," Hua Cheng said. "That's a lie."

Xie Lian hadn't noticed himself, but he let out a sigh of relief. This time, his smile was genuine, and he copied Hua Cheng's tone from before: "You liar."

Hua Cheng grinned and added, "But, it wasn't all a lie. I just haven't won that person over yet."

Hearing this, Xie Lian was stunned. But Hua Cheng had already turned around, leaving to keep labouring in the fields.

Xie Lian stood where he was for a good while, dazed, before bending down and slowly going back to work. For some reason, he was feeling a little unhappy. Soon after, he discovered a small row of his grafts were off-course, and immediately pulled his mind back.

As he worked the fields, he tried connecting privately with the Wind Master through the private communication array. Although Hua Cheng warned him against getting close to the Wind Master and his group, Xie Lian couldn't help it. These past few days, he'd tried sending messages multiple times, but still there weren't any responses, nothing but silence. Thus, he changed his tactics and reached out to Ling Wen instead.

"Ling Wen, how fares Lord Wind Master? Is he a little better?"

Ling Wen was instantly connected, and her voice sounded next to Xie Lian's ear. "Lord Wind Master? I think he's a little better."

Xie Lian instinctively knew she wasn't telling the truth, but didn't pursue it. However, that did help him make up his mind in going up in a bit to go take a look.

Just then, Ling Wen added, "By the way, Lord Water Master sent a gift over to you. Please remember to take a look, Your Highness."

Xie Lian was taken aback. "A gift? There's no need for it. I haven't done anything deserving of a reward."

"There's no need to be humble," Ling Wen said. "Lord Wind Master grabs anyone to accompany him when he's feeling impulsive, and you've endured hardships by his side for so long. In all manner of speaking, there is no shame in accepting the gift. Lord Water Master said it was nothing but a small show of gratefulness, so just take it."

Xie Lian still didn't think it appropriate, and kept it on his mind.

After finishing his work and wrapping up, Hua Cheng went over to the Village Head's house to help repair his plow, and Xie Lian returned to Puqi Shrine. After moving the three "good-for-nothings", as Hua Cheng had called them, behind the shrine, Xie Lian searched all over the small abode, wondering, "Where's the gift?"

Thinking it might have fallen in the cracks behind the donation box, he rolled his sleeves to move it. Unexpectedly, when he tried to lift, the box was unmoving. That donation box was excessively heavy, like it had grown roots into the ground. Perplexed, Xie Lian took out the key and opened the box. The moment he did, the bright golden light almost blinded him.

That donation box was piled thick and high with gold bars; with just a rough look, there was at least enough to turn into a million merits!

Xie Lian instantly threw the cover shut soundly, pressing it down heavily with both hands, thinking, "Nothing but a small show of gratitude?!"

To gift something so hefty for no reason, was this a lip-sealing fee? At first he had considered

that if it really was nothing more than a small gift, like a spiritual jade bracelet for saving power

or something, then maybe it'd be best to take it. After all, returning a gift might injure that Water

Master's face; the Water Master was proud, so it wouldn't be a nice thing to do. But

now…alright, as expected from the God of Wealth. A chest this big, filled to the brim with gold

bars, he had to return it.

It just so happened he'd already planned on making a trip to the heavens immediately to check up on the Wind Master. Figuring that Hua Cheng wouldn't return so fast, he left a note, then hoisted that oppressively heavy donation box onto his back before taking off.

Unexpectedly, the moment he reached the Heavenly Court, it was mayhem all around. Xie Lian stood dumbfounded, with wide eyes. The perfect Great Martial Avenue was full of wreckage and potholes, cracks and craters filled the street. A group of junior heavenly officials were running back and forth, and Ling Wen was squatting next to a deep crater, massaging her throbbing temple.

Xie Lian approached and asked, "What's happened?"

Ling Wen looked up and was taken aback by that giant donation box carried on his back.

"Your highness, what are you doing carrying such a big donation box up here??? What's happened? Sigh, don't even talk about it. General Nan Yang and General Xuan Zhen were fighting and destroyed each other's palaces."

Feng Xin and Mu Qing? Xie Lian was amazed.

"Why are the two of them fighting again?"

"What else can it be but that business with the fetus spirit? A few of the martial gods were in discussion, debating on how to deal with that ghost mother and son. General Nan Yang suggested bringing that fetus spirit to the refinery to dissolve it, since that creature really did murder a great number of people. But Xuan Zhen wouldn't let him. His tone wasn't the nicest, so Nan Yang said, as if you've ever been so benevolent, maybe you hold a guilty conscience, and so on. Your highness, you know how it is. They're like that. Say a few words, and they raise their fists. Just look. Look around. Look what their brawl has brought upon us. I've long since said that you martial gods really don't have a good culture; the expense for repairs in the Heavenly Court this year is too terrifying, I've only counted halfway and now I've forgotten everything again. Really…"

Her headache really did look quite painful.

Xie Lian said, "Then…I'll leave you to it. I'll go check up on Lord Wind Master."

Ling Wen looked up. "Visit Lord Wind Master? Don't bother, Your Highness. Lord Wind Master isn't allowing visitors right now."

"Didn't you say he was a bit better?" Xie Lian asked.

"That's what Lord Water Master said," Ling Wen said. "But the Lord Wind Master not allowing visitors were also the Lord Water Master's words. Right now, not even I can see Lord Wind Master, so he probably needs more time to recuperate. You best not go, Your Highness. Speaking of, isn't your donation box also too…"

WHAM! Xie Lian dropped the donation box on the ground.

"Then, please help by giving this to Lord Water Master for me. I haven't done anything deserving of a reward. Even if he didn't give me anything, Xie Lian wouldn't say anything that shouldn't be said."

He felt at ease after throwing that box down and left hastily. Ling Wen called after him from behind. Getting no response, she let it go, and continued to look at that deep crater with her throbbing head.

Although Xie Lian did leave, of course he wouldn't have descended back to the mortal realm just like that. Instead, he snuck to the esteemed Palace of the Wind and Water Masters in the Heavenly Capital.

Although the palace was thick with guards both inside and out, a small thing like this couldn't stop Xie Lian. Shi Qingxuan had brought him over last time, so he had a general idea where the Wind Master's bedchambers were located. He flipped over the wall, and changed between running across rooftops stealthily and sneaking around on the ground. It didn't take him long before he arrived. The only thing he worried about was the Wind Master not even being there to begin with; having been moved by his older brother to somewhere else.

Fortunately, his worry didn't come true. He climbed onto the roof and found a blind spot where others couldn't see him. He used his legs to hook onto one of the beams, hanging upside-down from the eaves, and looked into the interior of the bedchamber. However, the moment he looked, he was shocked.

Shi Qingxuan was trussed-up tightly, his hands and legs all bound with ropes. He was tied onto his own bed, but was still struggling unceasingly. Next to him, Shi Wudu was pacing back and forth by the bed, a bowl full of something black and unknown in his hands. He paused for a moment, then suddenly walked over, and forced its contents down Shi Qingxuan's throat.

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Translator Notes:

¹"Return Babes through Miraculous Hands" is a play on the idiom "Return to Spring through Miraculous Hands", which is a compliment for doctors who are so skilled they can bring the dead back to life. In this case, the wealthy merchant wanted to praise Xie Lian's skill in saving fetuses.