chapter- 2/ SHILOH

In Shiloh rain heavily for two days and today is third day. suddenly cat sound came from a room.

Oh! It's Ishar room. Actually we can't say it's Ishar room we can say her sister room.

[flashback :Ishar is second child. she have one older sister and younger brother. But her parents don't love her that much as love as her siblings. Their first choice is son, second their first daughter and lastly Ishar. Ishar siblings knew that very well so they always hit her disturbed her .when she wanted to justice her parents ignore it. Now she know that she can't be first choice to her parents and kind of hate her family. Normally she doesn't eat with her family .For her, she express her felling with food. like if she like someone she cook for him;/ her. ice cream can melt her angry. And most importantly she's not good in study at all.] Flashback end.

so this cat sound is actually Ishar alarm.

Ishar:5:30 already. ! no!!! I want more sleep.

her sister kick her. and say...

Oki:stop your alarm.

Ishar : okay. okay. (and stop the alarm )

she woke up and fresh her face, take shower, ready for school. And go to college at 6:40 without eating breakfast.

In school bus;

Ishar sitting in the middle beside the window in the bus. seeing nature and thinking when will end that lonelyness. ?.when I can do the things that I want to do.? I really hate when people act care of me but actually they don't they only say. when will I have freedom.? when I will act actually who I am? it's so frustrated. But the most annoying is I can't share it. I can't forget it. I can't destroy it. As a result I don't trust anyone in this world. I know everyone do things for their self. But right now my only wish is loudly cry. I didn't cry for years. it's made me crazy. I really hate my self for this. I know that I hurt because for nothing. I know if they hate me they can't do anything. I tried so many time actually everyday but also it's hurt ....because... Because.... I also want a normal family where childrens trite equally parents love their children so much and care. I know I wishing so big and impossible things. I know it will never came true. sometimes I curious that if I died how they react. I hope that day will come soon. because I'm so coward to suicide.

school bus arrived in school...

UNHAN UNICK SCHOOL ...

Ishar start walking for her classroom. suddenly Lotas called her,;Ishar wait.!