Chapter 1

It's the night before our day off and I'm so on edge. I'm anticipating the moment when we get to be in each other's arms, we seldom have time to just be with each other, it feels just so damn good to know that this day is almost here once again. The amazing thought that he will be all mines for a day at least just makes my soul happy. Just a mere day with him alone and whatever pollution that I have in my mind gets cleaned, he washes all the pain away, he just has this calming effect on my soul and a way of rejuvenating my body and not just physically but mentally and emotionally. I just hate that we only ever have one day to spend totally enriched in one another, one day that it's just him and I, not him and I facing the whole world and dealing with all of their problems. The hustle and bustle of everyday life just stops for this one day and he's just all mines.

The day hasn't even begun and I'm already on the verge of sadness, it might just end with a blink of an eye. I know from past experiences that this day just starts and as I begin to enjoy it, it's over. Will we ever just be with each other and not have any intrusions, with me in his arms hardly ever doing anything, it could be as simple as watching a movie that we don't even pay any attention to, or him just affectionately massaging my foot after a long day of work. I honestly don't know what it is about him that just pulls me in, like a magnet, like his soul is the magnet and I'm being pulled towards it, a gravitational force or maybe it's a force that's unnatural. I never felt like this before, is this what it's like to feel loved, if this is true does that mean I never felt any love, does it mean that for the past 25 years of my life I never had anyone love me as deep and passionate as he does. With him everything is always so easy, he just brings out this side of me that I never knew existed, the side that's caring, loving, warm and tender, a side that nobody ever got to see, a side that I hide from the world because I'm so afraid of being hurt. I read a lot of books and I watch a lot of tv, I even have my own past experiences that teach me to never trust anyone. Nobody in this world can be trusted, everyone has ulterior motives, they always want something from you. I have always had my guard up and I hardly ever let anyone in, I have this circle and for the longest time it was just me in it.I don't actually have any friends because again I'm very guarded and no one ever stood out to me.

He became one of my best friends in high school and for a while that was all I needed, that was perfect for me. To have someone as special as he was, that was just a blessing to me, from the moment that I had met him I knew that he was just different, don't get me wrong, when I say different I mean it in the best of ways. I could spot a genuine person, I always had this gift of reading people and their characters, 5 minutes of interaction between us and I'd know right away what type of person he or she was. From the moment we met I knew that he was just this kind soul, he had the best intentions for people, he could never be jealous of anyone progressing ahead, he never judged someone by their financial situations, or by the way they dressed or the way they styled their hair, he was not superficial, he genuinely cared about someone's well being. Yes we've had our differences but we have over come them and here we are, happy...