common room shenanigans

"and that is all the places in the castle where you should not go, if you Don't wish for an agonizing, painful death, to befall you." the perfect replied in his initial monotone, droopy voice to FRICKING FIRST YEARS. I looked at my housemates whose faces oozed pure fear. I am half sure that his 'tour' of Hogwarts has given childhood trauma to my housemates. The dick seemed impervious to it as he went right on ahead with his tour.

"this is NOTHING like what my parents told me Hogwarts would be like. THIS is a murder house!!! " Terry whispered to us with mild rage and anxiety:" where is the adventure? The romance? The ELF-MADE HOGWARTS SPECIAL RASPBERRY CREM CHEESE MUFFIN???"

Padma rolled her eyes at terry:"you are such a WUSS. Do you really believe in all that crap the perfect guy is selling. I mean, the bloody wraith in the third floor that gobbles up children? That lie was so bad I felt bad for him. Wraiths aren't even real. Everyone knows that. "

I raised my eyebrows at that:"c'mon. Wraiths could be real. I mean unicorns are real for Merlin's sake!! Trust me I checked. Besides aren't you Indian? Don't you believe in like, a hundred gods? So isn't it-"

"that is SO offensive." Padma said interrupting me:"You assume just cause I am Indian, I am a hindu. That is so British of you!! "

"I am so sorry." I apologized:" so you aren't a Hindu? "

She scowled as replied:" I am, but YOU don't get to assume that."

What?- ....But -.....WHAT??!

"and finally" the perfect's dead voice tore through my confusion pointing us to a door with a life like replica of an eagle head on it:" the final location of our little tour and my ticket to freedom. The ravenclaw common room door. "

"This little contraption was made by Rosetta?... No ravina?... No...uhhh... Ah screw it! The ravenclaw founder. How does this works? Great question!"

We looked at our 'perfect' with a deadpan. This guy was a ravenclaw perfect?? The guy who didn't even know Rowena ravenclaw, the founder of ravenclaw house's name? But then again RON did become gryffindor perfect in cannon didn't he. So I guess the perfect name does not carry weight I initially thought it did.

The perfect continued his speech in deadly monotone:" so to enter the common room one must knock the door once. *knock* and then the eagle head will ask you a question."

Before our eyes the eagle head suddenly moved and opened it's beak to utter a riddle:" what has hands, but cannot clap. "

"a clock. " said the perfect almost instantaneously his face still bored. The door opened to reveal a gigantic hall where a number of students of various ages huddled together in various spots studying and having fun together. The hall was draped in banners of bronze and blue. He looked at the crowds and let out a deep sigh. He then closed the doors and asked to us his face oozing boredom:" now you try. "

Nonetheless I was impressed. He answered that riddle without a second to spare. Guess there was some merit to him being a ravenclaw perfect after all....

Michael took initiative and knocked. Again the eagle shifted and riddled us:" what has hands, but cannot clap."

We blinked. I suddenly asked:"it's the same riddle! "

"astute observation. No wonder the hat made you a ravenclaw." said the perfect, his bored tone brimming with mockery:" did you seriously expect the eagle to give every single person a unique riddle? NO one would get past the doors if that was the case. ravenclaw wisdom seems to run rampant within this one! "

....or maybe he was just a dick!!!

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Soon we were inside the common room. We talked for a long time getting to know each other until finally it was time to go to bed. We gave our goodbyes to Padma and went into our dorm beds, where a surprise awaited me. Individual rooms!!! I was so SO glad I didn't choose gryffindor with their four poster beds.

I jumped up into the my new comfy bed soaking in the luxury of having a full room for myself for the first time in 11 years. At the same time I also thought back about the day I just had. My first day in the magical world had been an emotional joyride. I had met the traitor responsible for Mr and Mrs potters' death, I had befriended a cannon character and I had gotten into a fight with the boy who lived.

And I was only starting on my magical journey. I knew that cannon was at this point barely a guideline. I was no longer an omniscient individual who knew what awaited him in the future. And I was excited to see whatever awaited me. And whatever that may be. I will be ready.